Kurt and the Dalton Pixies
(A/N): Hey there! First of all, I'd just like to make sure that you guys don't take this fic seriously.
This story is written by a really good friend of mine, but she doesn't have a FanFiction account, so she asked me to upload it. Check out her tumblr at tahlius(dot)tumblr(dot)com. Also, check out my tumblr at jessslovesdarren(dot)tumblr(dot)com :D
So, my friend texted me this story when I had to wait for an hour for my dad to pick me up, and it's probably one of the most hilarious things I've ever met. So don't judge too harshly, because it's just a bit of a laugh. We both love Kurt and Blaine/Chris and Darren VERY MUCH! So don't think that this is a joke at their expense.
Disclaimer: Neither I, or my friend, own Glee, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Dave Karofsky, Darren Criss or Chris Colfer. Even though I wish it were true, it ain't, so don't sue! HEY! That rhymed! :D
One day, Kurt got home from school, where he was being bullied. He cried and went to bed. When he woke up he noticed he had a tail! HE HAD TURNED INTO A CAT! Then he went to school where he saw Karofsky. Karofsky was really turned on by the idea of Kurt being a CAT, so he kissed him. Kurt went home and ate cookies, then had a heart to heart with his father and then his father got the plague and he had to go to the hospital and it was very emotional and there was lots of crying and then Kurt sang 'Like a Boss' to his father to make him feel better. Then his father got better. Karofsky bullied him again, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS A CAT! So Kurt ran out of the room and started to sing 'The Poke Môn Theme Song'. Then a majestic unicorn, who was drawn to his majestic voice, appeared in front of him.
"HOLY SHIT!" Kurt said.
"DON'T BE AFRAID! I WILL NOT HARM YOU!" Said the unicorn, "NOW TELL ME CHILD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
"BECAUSE MY LIFE IS SHIT!" Replied Kurt, "OH! AND I HAVE CANCER"
There was lots of emotion… and crying. Then the unicorn turned to Kurt and old him to get on his back, so Kurt did. The majestic unicorn then flew towards the sky and took to a magical rainbow where there was a magical school called Dalton, full of magical pixies called Warblers. The Warblers started to sing him a welcome song. They were so good their singing cured Kurt's cancer. Emotion. Then as they finished their song the group parted to let the most magickl pixie of all walk through. His name was Warren Chris.
As Warren walked into the room Kurt started to puke rainbows and had to be carried over the heads of the Warblers to the sick bay. When he got better, Warren came to see him.
"DO YOU LOVE ME, KURT?" Warren asked as he walked through the door.
Kurt was very taken back by this question, because this was the first thing Warren had ever said to him.
"I GUESS" Said Kurt.
"COOL! LET'S GET MARRIED THEN!"
Kurt and Warren skipped down the hallway of rainbows. Just as they were about to get married the doors exploded open, revealing a man identical to Warren.
"DON'T MARRY HIM KURT! HE IS AN IMPOSTER" HE IS MY EVIL TWIN HE IS PLANNING ON SHAVING YOUR HEAD AND KEEPING YOUR MAGICAL HAIR!" Screamed the man who had just exploded through the doors.
This sounded legit to Kurt, so he threw the ring at Warren and married this other guy whose name was Blaine instead.
Now that Kurt and Blaine were married they decided to announce that they were an official couple. The Warblers congratulated them with a song and emotion and cookies.
Then Kurt and Blaine had sex. Lot's of sex… Then Kurt realised he didn't know much about Blaine.
"SO BLAINE, TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF." Asked Kurt.
"Well", said Blaine "my father's name is Hercules and my mother's is Veela, that's why I'm so God-Like and sexy."
They had sex. Then they shared more emotions. Then they had sex. Emotion. Sex. Emotion. Sex.
Then Kurt found out he was preggers!
Luckily the baby was smart and apperated into Quinn instead. It was a wizard baby. So Blaine and Kurt decided to keep it under some stairs in case they needed its' magical hair later on.
All was well… Or was it?
(A/N): Okay, that's it! Stay tuned to find out if there will be more chapters!
I really hope whoever read this had a good laugh, I know I sure did.
And I know there are a LOT of grammatical errors, but it's meant to be like that.
Also, I know that 'magickl' is spelt wrong up there, but that's how she sent it to me, and I think it adds to the hilarity of it all. :D
Reviews are welcome.