"What was I supposed to say? How many times he raped me, and how he did it? I barely even know why!" I had sobbed.
Memories of everything that had happened had flicked before my eyes, scaring me completely. It caused my skin to crawl, and I felt so cold...and alone.
Remus seemed to stand there, alongside him was my cousin Harry. Neither said anything, and Harry then turned and left the room. As Remus followed he'd stopped at the door, and turned and looked at me.
"I am not asking you to explain, but only for your trust" said Remus, then leaving the room shutting the door behind him.
I took deep breaths, but as I did I closed my eyes just once...and that was enough to push a memory of me forcefully being pushed against the wall roughly.
I pushed back against the memory, and breathed heavily in the chair I sat in. Snape pulled away his wand, and looked at me.
"Control your emotions, if Lucius knows he successfully placed himself securely in your mind for three years...he will use it!" directed Snape.
My hair is dark brown, and goes just below my shoulders; while my eyes are brown, and my skin is a light brown. I sit in an abandoned Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom, that is far below students eyesight. It is well hidden, unlike my mind, and my memories.
"Discipline your mind" ordered Snape.
"I'm trying, but I can't...I've buried those memories that deeply into my self-conscious with purpose, I do not want to revisit them" I replied.
"Which is why Lucius will go after those first! Lucius Malfoy maybe a sadist, as well as arrogant; however, he is no fool" retorted Snape.
My entire body was still quivering, and I couldn't seem to control it. If Snape brought anymore memories of that single situation forward, I wouldn't be able to control what exactly he might see.
"Are we trying again then" I questioned.
"Yes, but remember con-" "Control my emotions, I've got it" I stated, interrupting Snape.
"Legimens" spoke Snape.
It's fourth year...I'm giggling for a small moment, when a blonde Slytherin in my same year touches my hand; which he then raises his eyebrows challenging me.
"Feeling sentimental" questioned Snape, before I pushed him away from the memory.
Which brought us both back inside the classroom.
"Why choose that one? What does that matter to you" I stated.
"I was merely exploring the so-called statistics of what distracted you in your fourth year" hissed Snape.
"Draco did not distract me...besides! It isn't as though I speak to him anymore" I replied.
"So was that all that happened during your blissful occurrences with Draco? Or was there more" growled Snape angrily.
I never really liked seeing the angry side of Snape, and if he was searching for a memory placed between me and Draco he'd find one...it was impossible to say he wouldn't. Snape had begun to act more fatherly towards me, during my fifth year after he'd learned about my fourth attack from Lucius; though he wasn't my real father, it was nice to have someone who cared about me around. In the span of two years, being my third and fourth; Lucius Malfoy had successfully raped me several times, and would not think twice of doing it again.
Snape was here to help me, but with Snape's now constant displeasure with the Malfoys...since my fourth year, he'd completely assured that Remus agreed with him on the matters of whom I should not be allowed to date; which only gave one single teenage boy on the list, Draco Malfoy.
"Could I return to the Gryffindor Common Room now, sir? I'm sure I'd be needed" I questioned, unwilling to continue with the current situation.
"Once more" responded Severus.
I took a deep breath, and made sure I was stable enough to block out any memories Snape could possibly be searching for; but I could only hope I would be successful.
"Legimens" shouted Snape directing his wand at me.
I looked about and noticed the Christmas decorations in the halls, and there I was giggling. Sitting next to Draco, it's sixth year, and he was placing his Slytherin ring around my finger; while I was begging him to take it back, because I couldn't have Snape find it.
"Fine, I'll take it back...but then if I've got to take it back, you better give me my present right away" Draco stated.
I rolled my eyes, and Draco did remove it from my finger. Only to have mistletoe begin to grow above our heads, unsurprisingly Draco had always been holding his wand behind his back. He tucks my air behind my ear, and almost instantly we began snogging.
"Enough" hissed Snape, pulling us both out of the memory.
He'd taken such control of my own mind, that I wasn't able to push him out; which I began to believe was the reason he'd wanted to use Occlumency on me once more.
"How dare you" growled Snape.
"Draco was a better person then...I don't know what to think of him now" I stated.
"I only restrict you from him for your own protection" Snape voiced, sounding slightly hurt.
"I am sorry-" "You are dismissed...you know your way to your tower by now, I expect" Snape spoke, interrupting me.
I nodded, and then left the classroom. As I continued up there stairs, I was rather annoyed to find that Draco and his gang were waiting there for me.
"Having late night studies with the Headmaster, aye Gryffindor? Hoping to get your marks up before break" remarked Draco, causing Blaise and Goyle to laugh.
"Mind moving, I'd much prefer getting by" I stated trying to move around Draco.
Draco, however, pinned me against the stone wall; which placed no space in between us, and he smirked at me.
"What's the rush Gryffindor? Haven't spoken to you for a few months, would've thought you might miss me during Christmas" Draco stated.
His hands were holding my wrists to my sides, and I began to feel the sexual tension building in my lower abdomen; which I then attempted to push myself farther against the wall, which left me a little father away from Draco.
"The charm still in effect then?" Draco questioned smirking, it being more of a statement then a question.
"No" I replied.
Draco smirked, which aroused my body in ways I didn't necessarily want to believe.
"Don't lie to me Gryffindor, or I'll grind against you until you moan my name" whispered Draco into my ear.
Both his voice, and the mere thought added to my body's arousal.
"When does it wear off then" asked Draco lowly.
"The last day of December" I answered.
"I guess I did it right then?" laughed Draco, causing Blaise and Goyle to smirk.
When would this torture end? Snape didn't need to know about the charm, but why would Draco want to know if was still in effect? Did it even really matter?
The charm was an old french charm, that was created by the Bloody Baron. It was used to arouse a woman until she submitted to sexual intercourse, with whomever charmed her. However, the Bloody Baron hadn't given any maximum time limit, but it was known it could not go lower then a single year; and it could be placed even longer, for women who refused to submit. Which would only cause the need to submit to only be greater, because the charmer could come around; and a mere glance from him or her, would send the woman into arousal. Physical contact was probably the most commonly used to start arousal, and if the woman still refused to submit...it wouldn't necessarily matter, she would eventually.
I had found it barbaric at the time Draco had spoken of it, but in our sixth year we were pretty playful. Plus, Draco thought we'd eventually go all the way anyway, but we never did; which left me in an uncomfortable position over the months after our break up. Though it was quite discomforting to me, I'd found that I now understood why Death Eaters also used it as a form of long period torture. Especially with the women or woman whom was being tortured, would submit to anyone; however, that seemed to be quite problematic, for it would never really ease the sexual tension...but build it, even more so.
"Please let me go" I begged.
"Begging Gryffindor? Where's that Gryffindor bravery that you're all so proud of?" taunted Draco, causing Blaise and Goyle to laugh a little two stairs above him.
'Gone along with my self-respect' I thought to myself.
"Please Malfoy" I pleaded.
"Please what?" questioned Draco.
He wouldn't actually do this...would he?
"Say my name Gryffindor" Draco whispered softly in my ear.
"Please don't" I pleaded.
"Don't what? Hmm" Draco asked softly, then gently grinding his pelvis into my lower adomen.
I could hardly speak as he continued his grinding, but I knew he'd keep at it until I either orgasmed or moaned his name.
"Draco please" I whispered lowly.
"Moan my name" Draco growled sexually, and lowly; which aroused my body to a high extent.
"Draco" I moaned, no longer resisting; which Draco then stopped grinding and smirked at me.
I was quite sure Goyle and Blaise had also heard me, though it wasn't very loud...it was loud enough to assure that; Draco, Blaise, and Goyle had heard me. Though I hadn't done it purposefully.
"That brings back memories, doesn't it Gryffindor" taunted Draco, loosening his grip and then removing all parts of his body completely away from me.
I ignored him, and attempted to make my way passed Blaise and Goyle whom were both smirking.
"Let her by, I've gotten what I wanted" stated Draco.
Blaise and Goyle allowed me to pass by, and I continued up the steps until I was in the hall. However, I knew it was all bad as I saw how dark it was outside, I'd be in so much trouble.
I was glad to have escaped Malfoy's gang, but no one was to be out this late unless they were in Slytherin.
"Ms. Black, what are you doing out this late", I hoped it was just Professor Slughorn or McGonagall...I'd even be glad to be getting a detention from Snape, but I knew it was none of the three.
"I'd like a response Ms. Black" hissed Amycus.
"I was assisting one of the Professors down in one of the lower sections of one of the towers" I answered.
"Really? Mind coming to my classroom then? So we may discuss your schoolwork" responded Amycus, his eyes trailing lazily over my body.
It was quite easy to tell what he meant by that, and I didn't plan to follow him. Do all Death Eaters abuse whatever power they were given?
"Ms. Black, you happen to have left something in the down in the lower section" stated Professor Slughorn, who apparently had been listening quite closely to the conversation; which he then gave me an old potions book, but Amycus didn't seem to notice how old it was.
"Everything alright Amycus" questioned Professor Slughorn.
"Nothing, I do suppose I must turn in now" replied Amycus, then turning and beginning to leave.
"Thank you Professor" I said giving Professor Slughorn back his potions book.
"No, no problem at all Ms. Black...I'll escort you back to your tower then, hate to have you wandering alone with all these interesting characters that seem to take quite a liking to you" responded Professor Slughorn signaling me to follow along.
Once I'd made it safely inside of the Gryffindor Tower, Slughorn left down the hall, and I stepped safely inside.