Only a few changes from the original, I've added more in. Hope you like.
Death.
It's nothing compared to living.
In living, I had to endure a childhood with the worst of families. A family that's biggest comfort was that they were pure blood. As if that should count for anything. A cousin who's greatest joy came from pain. But I knew it could be different. I had seen it. Andromeda had married a muggle-born against her families wishes. I hoped I had the strength to do the same.
In living, I had to wait and see if the two friends I had made would be in my house. To wait and see if I could break the tradition, or what I thought of as a curse, and be in Gryffindor. I had to be. Not just to make my family mad, but for myself. It was the best feeling in the world when that old sorting hat yelled out Gryffindor.
In living, I had to wait and see if my friend would get the girl he deserved. Lily and James were the best suited to each other. They had to be together. If I'm honest, there was a time I liked her. But I couldn't do that to him. I knew they were meant to be together. From about third year I knew that Lily liked him back, and that just added to the hope they would get together. That worked out as well as I could have hoped for.
In living, I had to live with the fact it was Pettigrew, not Remus that had betrayed us. How I didn't see the slimy rat for what he was I don't know. All I knew is, that when Hagrid took Harry, all that remained from James and Lily, Wormtail would die. I would kill him. Kill him like he killed them. But on the day I cornered him, his wand actually worked. He cut of his finger, transformed and escaped. I was left to endure Azkaban, with no other thoughts for twelve years except I'm innocent, I'm innocent. He's still out there. I will find him. He will die.
In living, I had to watch as my freedom slipped away right before my eyes. At least the kids were safe. Harry, Ron, Hermione. There was something about them. They were more mature than any kids I knew. And they had so much more to worry about, but they could handle it. At least I thought. I was forced to leave as a fugitive and go on the run. But I could live with that. Four people knew what really happened. That was good enough.
In living, I was forced back to the house I hadn't been in in years. The place I had thought I had left behind when I escaped to James' house at sixteen. The place I wasn't allowed to leave from. My prison. It was alright though. The Order kept me company, and I loved it. I loved that they were all there. Especially Remus. The last of my school friends. Well, last of the school friends I don't want to kill.
In living, I had to hear that my godson had had a vision of me being tortured to death by Voldemort in the ministry. Had to hear that him and some other people had gone to save me. The Order knew better though. They knew it was a trap. They had tried to make me stay behind, but I couldn't. I would not let them take away the only living reminder of James and Lily, and I would not let them take away the godson I loved more than the world. I yelled at Kingsley and Mad-eye that I would not be responsible for another death. It had taken a while, but they gave in. So I fought, and I fought hard. Harry was the best dueler of his age I had ever seen, besides James.
That's how I knew when I fell through the veil, Harry would be okay. If he let people help him, he could finish off Voldemort. He was brave, smart, loyal and true. Harry Potter would not go down without a fight.
That's how I knew as I walked into James and Lily's open arms, the world would be saved by Harry Potter.
In death, I was whole.
R&R