"What?"
"I said Luke…will you marry me?"
This conversation had taken place over two minutes ago. Since that time, neither one of the participants had moved or spoken a word. Around them the air was still as the distant sound of bikes whizzing by filled the quiet night. Minds reeled, questions were formed, and yet neither of them made a move. It was as if the pause button had been hit, and no one seemed to know how to get it working again.
It was not that Lorelai wanted to remain in their little cocoon of silence. Quite the opposite actually. At that moment she had so many questions, so many doubts, and so many things running through her mind that all had to do with the man standing in front of her. But it was not her turn to speak. The silent minutes were killing her, putting even more doubt into her mind, but he was the one that had to break the silence. Lorelai was the one to start this conversation, and now he was the one that had to end it.
Tick, tick, tick.
Another minute passed. Doubt suddenly morphed into paralyzing fear while the silence slowly killed her. She watched every little movement he made, trying to read his body language. He tightened his fists. Does he not feel the same way I do? He bit his bottom lip on the left side. Was this all a big mistake? His eyes moved between staring at the ceiling and looking down at the floor. Is he trying to figure out how to say no? Lorelai was about to give up, grab her purse and go home, when Luke was suddenly pushed into play.
Moving from his spot in front of her, he walked slowly around the diner finishing his cleaning up routine. Luke wiped down tables, put chairs upside-down, removed salt and pepper shakers, and swept the floor seemingly oblivious to a stunned Lorelai still sitting in the same chair by the window. When he grabbed a rag and started to wipe the counter, she finally spoke for the first time in ten minutes.
"So, how's it going?" she asked, trying to get some kind of reaction out of him. "I bet Taylor is pissed about the bikers showing up so late. Weren't they supposed to be here, what, six hours ago? It makes you wonder what happened along the way. Maybe they ran into Lance Armstrong or Oprah or somebody and decided hey, who cares about this stupid race? Why don't we just go to Starbucks and have a chat over a coffee that I can't pronounce that will cost me half of my next paycheck?" She chuckled lightly at her own joke, and looked down at her hands as it became obvious that Luke was not going to answer her. Instead, he continued to wipe the same spot on the counter in silence.
"Okay, Luke, I give up. What is going on? Have you recently decided to become a mime and figured that this is just the right time to start practicing? Did Taylor put up security cameras that see through that stupid dividing window and anything you say will be used against you? Or, the more practical choice of the evening, are you just so mortified that you don't know what to say to me?" By that time Lorelai had moved up to the counter and was standing only a few feet from him, confusion written all over her face, yet still he said nothing.
"Come on Luke! You have to say something. Tell me that you want to move Alaska and live out your dream of ice fishing. Tell me that you and Kirk decided to go into business together selling baseball caps with funny sayings on them. Tell me that my mother came in here today and ate her pasta with a salad fork. Tell me anything Luke! I am dying here and you are the only one that can save me!" With her final words Lorelai slammed her fists on the counter, worn out and angry from being ignored.
As he played with the frayed edges on the old dish rag, Luke gave a heavy sigh and stared at the counter. "No" he stated quietly, and Lorelai's heart dropped through her stomach.
"No, what do you mean no? I just asked you like ten questions, no could be an answer to any of them." She was feeling desperate at this point, and her lungs felt as if they had all the air sucked out of them. "Luke, what does no mean? No, you don't want to freeze your butt of in Alaska sitting on a frozen lake all day or…or no, you don't want to marry me?" The last part of her sentence was said barely above a whisper, and Lorelai's throat felt as if it had closed up.
"No." he repeated, looking up from the rag and into her eyes this time. His body was slumped forward, and his eyes gave a look of defeat. Lorelai was left speechless as she understood what question he was answering.
Suddenly he left his place from behind the counter and walked passed her. He flipped the sign to closed, locked the door, and turned out the lights. When he started to walk up the stairs toward his apartment, Lorelai was thrown from her trance and ran after him.
"Luke, please talk to me. Do you not think I am being serious? Because I am Luke, I am. I want to marry you, more than anything. I know I don't have a ring to give you, not that you would wear an engagement ring because you are a guy, but that shouldn't matter because I love you! Okay, do you understand me, I love you! Don't you want to marry me? I know I drive you insane sometimes, and you are completely disgusted by my eating habits, but I thought you loved me too Luke. So please, can you just talk to me? Please? Let's just go inside your apartment and talk about this. Even if you don't really want to marry me, we can figure something out; we can talk about the future. Please Luke, I'm begging you here. Can we please just talk about this? "
As the two of them reached the door to his apartment, Luke slowly opened it and turned around to face her. Her eyes were welling up with tears and silently pleading with him, while his remained unmoved and unconcerned. "Just go home Lorelai."
"No, Luke, no! I just can't go home and let everything stay like this between us. I can't go through the pain of losing you again. I can't!"
"Lorelai, just go home." With that, Luke turned around, walked into his apartment, and closed the door. Unbelievable pain filled Lorelai's body as she slid down the wall of the narrow hallway into a sitting position, finally letting her tears fall freely.