Star Man

A Doctor Who two-shot by SurpriseSushi

Part One of Two

"There's a star man waiting in the sky, he'd like to come and meet us, but he thinks he'll blow our minds."

Star man, David Bowie

"Rose...?"

The flames threw shadows onto the broken walls, the dark silhouettes dancing on the walls that were falling apart, crumbling to the ground.

Blood.

Blood was strewn across the walls, across the floor. There was so much blood. Too much blood. "Rose?"

He could barely move; he was dazed but there might have been injuries. "Rose! Answer me!" he cried out, desperate for a response. He dragged himself forward, following the scent of human blood, discovering from the smell that most of the blood was that of a Time Lords. The strong small of human blood was from near the door and wasn't moving. He dragged himself faster, his strength slowly returning, but a dull throb began in his upper thigh.

"Doctor?"

His heart leapt into his throat. "Rose?"

She lay underneath a metal beam; she was pinned. Her body was riddled with cuts and newly formed bruises.

He finally reached her, and he pushed himself against the wall. "Are you alright, Doctor?" Rose asked. He took a quick look at himself. There was a long gash across his chest, his suit torn and soaked with blood. There was also a long metal pipe sticking out of his leg, and on closer inspection, he saw that it went clean through. The sight of it made his stomach turn.

Rose couldn't see any of this. "I'm fine"

"What happened?" She asked before he could ask how she was doing.

"The TARDIS is gone. She couldn't handle a blow like that. The fires are just beginning to die down. She's in pieces... I believe a piece of her is lying on top of you." He attempted to smile; he didn't want to worry her.

Rose suddenly coughed violently, and a trickle of blood dribbled down her chin; her eyes fluttered.

"How... how are you?" He asked, reaching out to wipe the blood.

Rose looked away, and he saw tears streaming down her cheeks, but she tried to hide them. "Can you reach my pone?" She asked quietly, still not looking at him. He nodded, and with a little difficulty, managed to pull the phone free. "Do you mind...?" She started, but faltered. He pressed a few buttons and held the phone to her ear. Her arms were trapped underneath the beam.

"Mum?" Rose asked after a moment. "Yes. Yeah, I'm... I'm okay." Her eyes looked into his, and he felt his stomach drop.

"Rose, don't- you-..."

"Mum, I won't be home for a little while, okay? No- no, no, don't worry. Yeah... yeah, I'll see you later, okay? Bye." He pulled the phone away and ended the call. He didn't say anything, and Rose looked into his eyes again. "I'm not going to make it... it's getting difficult to breath." He remained silent, against his will more or less - there was a lump in his throat. She smiled gently. "That's alright."

"No, no, you are not going to die-" He felt the tears fall down his cheeks, but he quickly brushed them away. He braced himself against the pile of debris on top of Rose and pushed. He almost blacked out from the pain that burst from his leg, making him cry out.

"Doctor, don't-"

He pushed again and almost screamed. It was an odd feeling to have a metal pipe through your leg, but words could not describe the pain. He groaned through his clanged teeth, but the pile didn't move. "Come on!" He yelled, his leg erupting with pain after another push.

"Doctor."

"Don't you give up, Rose. Don't you dare."

"Stop."

He looked at her. "You can't..." He lowered his face, hiding his tears. "Fuck!" He slammed his fist onto the ground, throwing up dust. "Fuck."

"Doctor, look at me." Came her voice, but he couldn't will himself to look up. "Doctor, please." He lifted his head and glanced at her. "I don't want you to - under and circumstances - think this was your fault." He opened his mouth to argue, but Rose quickly cut him off. "It's not."

"Yes. Yes, it is. I brought you with me."

"I wanted to come."

"I should have said no." He wiped his eyes. "I should have continued travelling alone. Then none of this would have happened."

"Exactly. None of it would have happened." Her own eyes were shining again, but he could tell she was trying to hold them back. "I cannot tell you how much you mean to me. How our adventuring, our travelling changed me; made me into this wonderful, open-minded person." She coughed again, more blood dripping down her chin. There were streaks of tears down her cheeks now, mixing with the blood. "I don't think... I have much longer. So," She stared into his eyes. "I suppose this is my last chance to say it." She looked away, but he took her blood and tear streaked face in his hand, turning her head so she looked at him. "I love you, Doctor." She let out a sob.

He leaned forward, placed his other hand on her other cheek, and kissed her. He pulled away after a moment. "I love you, Rose." Rose didn't move. "Rose?" No reply. "...Rose?" He put his hand on her cheek again and lifted her head. But he pulled back immediately as if stung. He had felt her growing cold. He pushed himself away and settled back onto the wall; he closed his eyes and let the tears flow down his face.

He looked down at his leg. It was slightly blurry from the tears in his eyes, but he wrapped his around the metal pipe. He braced himself and pulled. He screamed in pain, blood pouring from the newly opened wound.

He blinked several times, discovering that the blurriness was not due to the tears but was actually due to the immense loss of blood. He could no longer feel his leg, and the slashes across his chest were still open.

He pulled himself up to his feet, supporting himself against the wall, and he took a step forward. He tumbled to the ground, grunting from the pain that shot up his leg.

He was dying.

He could feel it, the urge to regenerate. The screaming from every cell getting louder and louder. He refused it. It took incredible will power, but he resisted. If she didn't get to live, neither did he.

"Doctor!"

He turned his head.

"Hello, Captain." He managed.

Jack Harkness stood motionless by the doorway, staring at him. Jack was suddenly on the ground next to him and was holding him in his arms. "...make it sooner." Jack was finishing, surveying the pieces of the destroyed TARDIS. He looked back down at him. "Doctor?" He glanced over to where Rose's body lay. "What happened?" Jack asked, gripping onto him tightly.

"Rose... Rose..." Something was blocking his throat, and he tried to swallow.

"Doctor, she's..." He saw Jack look away. "She'd dead. She was gone before I got here." His face was suddenly illuminated with an orange glow. It took all of his strength, but the light disappeared. "... What are you doing?"

"I'm stopping the regenerative process. I'm dying."

"Doctor, you can't!" Jack's grip tightened and his eyes shined. "I know... I know this must be difficult. But you have... you have to regenerate. Please-"

He shook his head. "Rose is dead, and so am I. Jack, you know I can't continue living - continue existing without her. Without her, I'm nothing. Nothing." He saw Jack's tears leak out of his eyes and stream down his face.

"You, Doctor, are everything. Absolutely everything. You saved all the people of earth on numerous occasions, you've saved aliens-"

"Jack, don't."

"Doctor!" Jack's tears fell down onto his face, and Jack placed a hand on his cheek. "Do I need to beg? Because I will. If you were to die here, right now, so many more people will die. They will die, just like Rose. Don't you get that?"

He glared at Jack. "Of course I get it." He closed his eyes. "Fuck you, Jack. Fuck you. You want me to live... so no one else will die? Fuck you." He began to glow again, and he shook his head. "I'll be a completely new man, but I may never forgive you. No promises- but the new me may see you as a stranger."

"You could never forget me."

The Doctor gave him a tiny smile. Then his body exploded, throwing Jack backwards. Jack covered his eyes with his arm from the blinding brightness. There was a moment when even the fires around them were drowned out by the Doctor.

When the light finally faded, Jack lowered his arm. A man sat upon the floor, his long brown hair flopped to the side. He sniffed, then looked up at Jack.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor!"

Jack stared at him. "I'm Captain Jack Harkness."

The Doctor looked at him quizzically. "Hang on a tick…" He rubbed his head. "I know you." He grinned. But his smile quickly faded. He glanced over to the pile of TARDIS and debris Rose lay under. He looked away. "Who-" Jack saw a single tear fall down the Doctor's newly regenerated cheek. "Why do I…" He looked at his hands, which were shaking uncontrollably, and lifted them to the top of his head, raking his fingers through his thick hair. "Jack," He looked up. "who- who is that?"

Jack looked at him. "You don't know who that is?"

"I… I feel like I should… all I feel is this… this sadness. This intense sadness. I-" The Doctor shook his head. "Who is she?" Jack hesitated. "Captain, who is she?"

"Rose Tyler." Jack whispered, seeing the Doctor like this bringing tears to his eyes again. "She… was Rose Tyler."

"Why does it hurt? Jack…" He was full out crying now, and Jack could see that the Doctor didn't know why. "When you say her name it hurts. Why can't… I remember her?"

"I don't know, Doctor. I just don't know."

There was a moment when the only sounds were the Doctor's unwith held sobs and Jack's suppressed ones. "Help me up." The Doctor finally said, raising a hand for Jack to take. Jack gripped it and pulled the Doctor to his feet. He stumbled and Jack held him.

"New legs, sorry."

"Doctor-"

"Bring me to her."

They made their way through the debris, and Jack lowered the Doctor by where Rose lay. He looked at Rose's open, empty eyes. Jack watched the minutes old Doctor stare at his dead companion, his eyes saying he couldn't recognize her, but the tears that still streamed down his face said otherwise. Jack could see the pain etched plainly on his face, but he was unsure whether it was from seeing her like this or from not knowing who she was.

"I don't-" The Doctor started, but the words dies in his throat as he dissolved into more tears. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Jack, I remember you perfectly. I remember when we first met; you tried to con me into buying an ambulance. I remember you fighting by my side on satellite five…"

"You don't remember Rose being there?" Jack asked.

The Doctor looked up at him sharply. "She- Rose was there?"

Jack suddenly bent down next to the childlike Doctor, and took hold of his shoulders. "Doctor, does the name Martha Jones mean anything to you?"

Fresh tears escaped the Doctors eyes, but he shook his head.

"Donna Noble?"

The Doctor sobbed loudly. "They all hurt. They all hurt so much. I can't… I can't properly explain… this feeling."

"But do you recognize those names? Sarah Jane Smith?" Jack asked seriously, still gripping his shoulders.

The Doctor shook his head and cried. "No. No, I don't." His hands were lost in his thick brown hair. "I know I should, Jack. I feel like I should… but I don't, and all there is… is this gapping hole in my hearts, where these people should be- well, they're still there, but-" He couldn't continue, his muffled sobs coming from behind his hand-covered mouth.

Jack reached out an arm and embraced the Doctor. He didn't say anything, but the Doctor pushed his head into Jack's chest and remained there until he had managed to compose himself. It took hours.

/

Author's note: I do not own Doctor Who or David Bowie.

First Doctor Who fic, so I apologize if anyone is out of character. Part Two is already done, I just need to type it up. I will eventually. But I'm extremely lazy. Reviews are super appreciated and please stick around for chapter two.

~Surprisesushi