I just joined and have very few stories. All kinds of feedback and anybody willing to review would be the best thing ever! I'm fairly young compared to most writers on this site so pointers would be greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: I will never, ever, ever own Katniss or Peeta.
The gap between the ending of Mockingjay and the epilogue.
The rebels won the war. We did. But at what cost?
It doesn't change the fact that my sister and 1,679 other children are dead. What we did achieve though was freedom. Was it worth it? Would we have been better off living in fear? These are the questions I ask myself all day everyday. I used to think once The Hunger Games were over, everything would get better. Now I just have nightmares every night of all the people I've lost. The scary part about them is that even though I wake up screaming for Prim, or wake up locked in a closet, when I wake up I'm not afraid anymore. The same nightmares can haunt me for months and I will be huddled in a ball. Yet the part of me that used to fuel the fire in my soul to do what's right has been extinguished with all of this destruction. I no longer feel anything. Not hope, not sadness, nothing.
() () ()
It's been two months since I last saw Peeta. I had caught a glimpse of him kneading dough in district 12's small new bakery that was built mostly for him. I had been going to see the reconstruction of the Justice building, wondering why they were trying to make things better. He had flour on his face and his blue eyes were reflecting the sun's radiant glow. I started to realize what I had been thinking and immediately kept on moving.
There is no point in trying to find the good in life.
Is there?
() () ()
I woke up to the smell of food cooking downstairs. Assuming Greasy Sae had come to make me eat some food I trudged down the stairs into the kitchen where a bowl of lamb stew was waiting. I ate in silence with the drapes closed cutting off all light. After I ate, I made my way to the coat closet where I laced up my hunting boots and left the house to go hunt. I walked past the spot where I usually sneak under the fence and instead took the longest route possible before I decided that if I kept going any further it would be dark before I got back. I kept through the brush and picked up my bow and arrows. I managed to take down a few squirrels before deciding to head back to town. I dropped my bow in the usual place and made my way to the Hob.
When I entered the Hob, all eyes glanced my way just like they always do whenever the 'Mockingjay' is out in public. I made my way over to Greasy Sae and handed her the game without a word. Finally I break down and speak
"Thanks for the food today."
"Katniss... I didn't deliver any food today"
I just walked away without any further conversation. Part of me knew who brought me the food if it wasn't Greasy Sae but I didn't want to believe it. He can't care about me! He shouldn't care about me. I can't let him care about me! I run home and curl into a ball and cry.
"Why does he love me?"
I sobbed for who knows how long. I couldn't keep the thoughts away about how much pain I had caused him. How could he still care about me? I left him in the arena and The Capitol hijacked him. They took away the boy with the bread and it was my fault. The part of him that loved me was tampered with so much he thought of me as a threat. How he was able to overcome that...I will never understand. Peeta has so much courage and strength to keep fighting. He's broken and confused, yet he's making me food while I cry my eyes out. What does that make me?...
It makes me a coward.
Even though it's incredibly selfish I can't stand that after everything he's the strong one. I hate being so weak. So vulnerable and helpless. God, I hate him! I hate him for loving me, I hate him for being safe after the Capitol took him. I hate him for making me lamb stew. I hate him for moving on, and baking bread. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!
...I love him
() () ()
I had recoverd from my pity meltdown and slept.
Dream, nightmares I couldn't distinguish the two. Peeta being killed by the mutts. Peeta kissing me on the beach.
Peeta tossing me the bread.
Peeta dying in the green fog.
No matter what raced through my mind, the one thing in common was the ashy blond boy who saved me in every way a person can be saved.
I woke to a startling sound. Almost like glass breaking. I quickly walked down the steps, and in my living room discover three empty broken bottles of whiskey.
"Haymitch?" I call rather impulsively.
"Hey sweetheart"
The voice that responds isn't Haymitch. And I'm shocked to discover that the voice belongs to Peeta.
A/N: Should I continue? PLEASE read and REVIEW! If you do, I will write a one-shot for every review I get!
Ps. The line
'He saved me in every way a person can be saved' came from the movie Titanic.