Title: Guys With Glasses Are Usually Perverted

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Humor

Series: Gintama!

Characters/Pairings: ShinKagu (Shinpachi X Kagura), some GinSaru (Gin X Sarutobi)

Summary: Left alone together while Gin goes out for the night, Shinpachi and Kagura try to think of a way to pass the time. ShinKagu and some GinSaru. It's het romance, people. Please R & R! By the way, the title is supposed to be like the name of a chapter in the manga.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING OUT?" Shinpachi cried. Gin, who was standing in the doorway of their small apartment, just shrugged and replied, "I don't see what's the problem. I'm old enough to go out on my own without the worry of being raped, unlike you..."

"HEY, I'M NOT THAT YOUNG, DAMMIT! BESIDES, I CAN DEFEND MYSELF!" shouted the bispectacled boy, his face growing red with anger. Kagura, who was eating ramen in the kitchen, popped her head in and said, "Will you two shut up? I'm trying to eat with my toes..."

Shinpachi turned to Kagura and exclaimed, "NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T EAT WITH THEIR TOES!"

"Maybe you should take some medicine or something, Shinny. You're getting a little EXCITED..." Gin remarked. Shinpachi was about to respond with his own witty comeback, but the sudden appearance of Sarutobi falling through the ceiling caused him to lose his train of thought.

Sarutobi quickly got up and wrapped her arms around Gin's chest, crying, "OH, GIN-CHAN, I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! EVER SINCE WE'VE MARRIED, YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME! WHY, GIN-CHAN? WHY?" Without hesitation, Gin slammed his knee against Sarutobi's chest and smacked his fist on her head, knocking the kunoichi to the ground.

"YOU BIG CURLY-HAIRED JERK! YOU AREN'T AFRAID TO BEAT UP ANYONE, WHETHER THEY BE MAN OR WOMAN!" Shinpachi exclaimed. Gin just turned around and waved goodbye as he made his way down the stairs. Soon, after Shinpachi spilled some water on her face, Sarutobi woke up and ran after Gin. That was when Shinpachi realized that Sarutobi had left her glasses behind.

Kagura finally walked out of the kitchen with Sadaharu close behind. The red-haired girl had a small bulge pushing against her dress.

"How much food did you eat?" Shinpachi asked nervously.

Kagura had a thoughtful look on her face for a few moments before replying, "Well, I did eat ALL of the ramen...I also ate this steak that had your name stamped into it..." Shinpachi sighed and dragged himself over the couch in the living room.

Kagura sat down on the other side and let out a sigh of her own. Sadaharu walked over and sat down next to her, his large tongue hanging out of his gaping mouth.

Shinpachi took a quick look at the girl and thought, 'Damn it all! Why does she have to be so damn cute and sweet? I can only forgive her for eating 5 months of food because of her sweet innocence! Well, she actually isn't all that innocent, but still! If she's still a virgin, then call me 'Pimp Master General'!'

Suddenly, Kagura looked over at him and asked, "Why do you keep staring at me? It's creepy..."

Shinpachi winced and quickly turned his head, his cheeks flushed.

Kagura moved a little closer and asked, "Are you okay, Shinpachi? You've been acting weird ever since Gin left. Maybe you can only reveal your true perverted personality when Gin isn't around to restrict your thought patterns and-"

'What the hell is she talking about?' Shinpachi wondered nervously as Kagura continued talking. Suddenly, Shinpachi felt someone's hot breath pressing against the back of his neck. That was when he turned around and realized that Kagura was now practically on top of him!

"I can make you feel better, Shinpachi..." Kagura whispered, a seductive tone in her voice. Shinpachi couldn't help but feel aroused...

After a few hours, Gin finally returned to the apartment. He was wearing a tuxedo and carrying Sarutobi, who was now wearing a wedding gown, up the stairs to the front door. "I can't believe that wedding only took two hours!" Sarutobi exclaimed happily as Gin let her down.

"I can't believe the sex took four hours!" Gin replied sheepishly. While Sarutobi began talking about how they should have 2.5 kids and all, Gin took out his keys and opened the door. When he walked in, he found Shinpachi and Kagura making out on the floor.

Gin chuckled under his breath and muttered, "It was only a matter of time..."