A/N: This story is off-canon. Every change you find to the original story is intended. Also, this is slightly Abby/McGee/Ziva bashing. So, if you don't like to read it, please don't. I don't read flames, so don't write one. Go back to your search and forget my story, if you don't like it.
As usual nothing from NCIS belongs to me. I just borrowed them for a little bit of fun.
And a very big THANK YOU goes to my beta arress. Without her, this story wouldn't make much sense at all. She did a great job of beta reading this.
And for all of you, who want an update of my Confident Tony Story: I will update, but the writing goes much slower than before. So please bear with me.
I think that's all, so please enjoy!
What Tony should've done
When I arrived in bullpen with Ziva and McGee, I couldn't believe it. Gibbs sat at my desk and my things were gone. The box on my old desk gave me a clue as to just where they were.
In the first second I was deliriously happy about the sight. I hoped for four months that Gibbs would come back. I fought tooth and nail with the director about the position of the new SSA of the MCRT. I didn't want it permanently as long as Gibbs didn't retire for good. So I became the substitute SSA instead.
Then I became angry. The last few days with Gibbs 'helping' Ziva, his snide comments about my incapability of leading the team, his questioning me, Ziva's betrayal when she went to him for help, the absolute bliss the rest of them, minus Ducky and Jimmy, showed over his arrival, and last but not least the absolute disregard of my work for the last four months, the half of which they didn't even know. It all caught up with me. I needed a moment just to rein myself in before I could even think of going to my old and now apparently new desk.
I watched as every last one, even Ducky, went up to tell Gibbs how glad they were to have him back. Don't get me wrong, a few days ago I would have loved to have him back. But now, I just didn't know.
At the end of day one I was furious. He belittled me every time I gave orders. Sure, when I forgot about him being team leader and calling the shots, I could understand. But even when I gave orders within my rights as newly assigned SFA, he overruled me. And that made me beyond mad. And nobody, really nobody, thought it was wrong. They followed him like little puppies. That the director wanted to see me, just at the moment I wanted to go home, really made my day.
I've been undercover for her little vendetta since almost three months ago and I've told her for the last two and a half months that my target doesn't know a thing. Nothing! Nada! She wanted me in the op anyway. And I hate it. I have to lie to Jeanne, I have to lie to my friends, inside and out of NCIS. I work around the clock and nobody is there if and when I need help. And I don't know what is worse! Jeanne is really nice to me, or rather to Tony DiNardo, and I like her. I could eventually learn to love her given time, and I spend more and more of it with her. That I have to lie daily is almost second nature by now. Nobody, other than me and the Director, know about the op. And this sucks. I can't go to Ducky when I need a doctor since I can't tell him half what's going on. And I've been under the weather for almost two weeks. It's just my luck that I don't have an appointment with Brad. He could've helped me without much fuss because he doesn't know what's usual and what's not, but I checked with Bethesda and he will be gone another two weeks. So, I have to wait.
That I have to lie to McGee and David doesn't bother me anymore. They've proved over the last few months, since my promotion to SSA when I think of it, that they don't give shit about me. I really thought at least McGee would stand by me, but I think he just went along too well. I have no doubt that Ziva doesn't care. She's showed it over and over again since her arrival, so no lost love on my part. But I would be sad to lose McGee, if I weren't so angry with him. He would still be rotting at his desk in Norfolk if I hadn't talked Gibbs into giving him a chance. And Abby really did a number on me. She degraded me to a disliked co-worker. First I thought she would realize just how much it hurt me, I mean we were supposed to be best friends, but she never came around. Not one little bit. So I gave up.
The one person I hate to lie to the most at the moment is Jimmy. In the last few months we've become friends. He's helped me see right again more than once. And I think he knows something. The looks he gives me when I'm absent and can't explain aren't suspicious, but knowing. And he doesn't say a thing. And that tells me that he wouldn't judge me if I told him, that he would try to understand. Something I doubt the others would do.
A different story altogether are my friends outside of NCIS. I can't meet them with Jeanne because it's too risky. Even if I could have told them of my undercover persona, someone could blab. So I have to cancel a lot of meetings, because every minute outside of NCIS I am with her. And I hate it. I love the time with my buddies, doing nothing, thinking nothing and caring for nothing. I miss it, a lot.
With all this in my head I went up to her highness just to hear for the umpteenth time how much I'm not making any progress with my assignment. I tell her for the thousandth time what I know about Jeanne and her connection to her arms dealer of a father, namely nothing because she doesn't know a thing. I listen to the Director rant a little bit more and after that I'm free to go. Finally! Almost two hours after everyone else.
NCIS naval criminal investigative service NCIS
On my way home and all the time I spent waiting for sleep I tried to think of nothing at all, and after the first good night's sleep I've had in the last four months, with the morning sun came my epiphany. I dressed in my most expensive Armani suit, took the time to eat a full breakfast, and drove to the Navy Yard without much thought about the time. Nonetheless, I arrived before everyone else. So I set my plan in motion.
I sent everyone a short email, except Gibbs, to meet me at nine am in Conference Room One. Gibbs got a short note on his desk. Then I sent an email to the SecNav. I told him everything about the last four months, but asked him to do nothing for now. In addition, I wrote to Tom Morrow, just to make sure that I had an escape plan ready. And last, I wrote my resignation letter. If everything went wrong, I would have it ready.
To my relief, the SecNav and Morrow answered almost right away, so I was prepared. I would have thought the rest of them would be here by now, but I was still alone. So I began to type up my notes about yesterday's case. We closed it, so there were forms to fill out, too. At half past seven Gibbs came in. He looked at me as if he tried to puzzle out just why I was even there. This confirmed my plans as nothing else could have done. He looked at the short note on his desk and looked for a moment in my direction and nodded before he began to work.
At eight I got the confirmation about the appointment from the Director. I'm really sure she thought it would just be the two of us to talk about the op. Well, she would have to see, as would the rest. Abby, Jimmy and Ducky were the next to confirm the meeting. Abby even asked why, but I didn't answer her, of course. Now, I just had to wait for the rest of the team. At half past eight, McGee and David arrived together. And these two made it clear just how much they disregarded me as the whole person, not just my position. They had the audacity to ask me why I hadn't come to the celebration for Gibbs' return. When I looked at them and asked just what celebration they spoke about, they grinned and began to tell me all about the night before. After a few moments I looked at Gibbs and hoped to see at least a little bit of regret, because I hadn't known about it, but there was nothing. So I let them blab for a while before I got up and went to the conference room.
When I got there about five minutes before nine, I rearranged the room a little bit to my liking. The little cam and mike I put up, I won't mention for now. Then I sat down on one side of the table and waited. A short while later Ducky, followed by Jimmy and Abby, joined me. All three looked a little cross after seeing the way the chairs were arranged. I had moved almost every one to one side of the table, except one which I put to the other side, and was sitting down on the only one. Nonetheless, they sat down and didn't say a thing. Jimmy looked at me for a short moment and whatever he had seen seemed to confirm something for him, because he relaxed and grinned slightly. Gibbs entered the room on the dot, with the latest cup of coffee in hand as usual. He looked in my direction and went to the next available chair to sit down. If I weren't so angry, I would have been afraid of the glare he shot me. But in that moment I didn't care. McGee and David entered the room shortly after Gibbs and looked around as if they owned it. The smug smile on McGee's face told of the glee he felt for getting one over me in the squad room. Ziva's look should have killed me I'm sure, but just like with Gibbs, I didn't care one bit.
At five after nine, I hadn't said a word. Gibbs stood and went to the door, but before he could reach it I spoke at last.
"Agent Gibbs, sit down, now." The glare that earned me was almost unbelievable. Almost. Before he could say a word the door opened and the last participant of this little show of mine arrived. The look on the Director's face was rather funny, and if the way Jimmy grinned was any indication, I wasn't the only one to think so.
After she got to the last open chair and sat down, she looked at me. "Agent DiNozzo, when you asked to speak with me, I thought this would be a little less crowded. What's going on?"
I took the moment Gibbs needed to go back to his own chair to think about how to begin this show.
NCIS naval criminal investigative service NCIS
"Well, Director … You see, in the last few months a lot has happened, and I for one can't and won't accept it anymore. So, where should I begin?" Before I could say anything more, there came a snide remark from Ziva.
"What do you mean 'can't and won't accept'? I do not care about that. If this is just a new form of whining, I will go. I do not have to listen to that."
"You, Officer David, will sit down and you will listen. Do I make myself clear?" The look she gave me was priceless. But before she could do or say anything else, Gibbs for the first time since he came back, spoke up on my behalf and shut her up.
The next one to question me was the Director, but the slightly threatening tone made it sound like an order. "Care to elaborate what exactly you mean by that, Agent DiNozzo?"
After a look around the room to check for more remarks from the others, I looked back at her. I think if I wanted to just quit with a bang, I would have yelled at them, but for now I decided to keep my cool.
"Yes, of course. I think it best to start at the moment everything started to go wrong. Four months ago you let a ship with 19 civilians on it be blasted to hell because it was the easiest way. That was the last straw for Agent Gibbs and he retired." At that, she wanted to speak up, but I didn't let her. "No, Director. You asked, and I, for once, will tell how it really went down and you will listen."
With that said, I turned to Gibbs. "I know you don't remember me, or the way it was between us before you got blown up. And I also know you don't give a damn at the moment. But just so you know, I understood and understand to this day, why you had to go. But the way you handled it, especially with the team, wasn't right. I don't know what you thought at the moment, but everything you did and said undermined me and my position in this agency."
That got a reaction out of almost everyone. Abby muttered something about jealousy, Ducky looked contrite, McGee looked rather shocked, Ziva mumbled about whining, and the Director looked like the cat that got the canary. The only ones that didn't say anything were Jimmy, who looked a little smug on my behalf, and to my amazement, Gibbs. He looked rather pensive. Ziva was the one to talk.
"So, this is about your stunt as team leader? We all know just how horrible you were. Why do we have to listen to that?" With that I turned to the Director again. But out of the corner of my eye, I watched for Gibbs' reaction.
"This is the best example." I pointed at David. "You let a member of Mossad on a team with highly classified cases. She has every possibility to spy, because that is what she does. She's a spy. She doesn't know a thing about our laws and thinks she's above them. She doesn't know a thing about being an NCIS agent. She never went through the training at FLETC that every probie has to take, but for all that, she thinks herself a better agent than everyone else, especially me. She hates the fact that I was and still am her superior. If you would ask her, she would say she should have her own team by now, or at the very least be Gibbs' equal.
"Why Gibbs let that happen, when before her, he wouldn't let just anyone to be placed on the MCRT, I don't know. But if I had to guess, I would say she shot Ari to gain Gibbs' trust and he thinks he owes her. She got the position on the team even though she made dossiers on all of us for Ari, so he knew where to hit Gibbs."
The looks I got from at least three of the people in the room were murderous. Those looks made me think I hit it spot on. That explained a lot that hadn't been explained until now. When I looked at Gibbs, I saw for the first time something different in his look. I didn't get it, but at least it was something other than indifference.
"From the first day onwards she made my work difficult to say the least. She turned a promising probie into a smug bastard and know-it-all. She even went so far as to cut me off from the team. Since her arrival, I've had to fight for my position. And it didn't get any better when I became SSA. Both David and McGee turned against me. They questioned every order I gave them, they didn't do their work, and when they did do something, it wasn't complete. I had to do their work on top of mine because they couldn't be bothered. And you, Director, didn't give shit. Did you take even one look at the complaints I and a few other agents wrote?" The look she gave me said it all.
"That's what I thought. I have to thank Balboa, because without him there wouldn't have been anyone to have my six in the field."
That got McGee going. "Well, Tony, why do we have to take the blame for that if you didn't wait for us? Nobody told you to go out without us." The ignorance on his part was the only thing that saved McGee from pissing his pants.
The look Gibbs gave McGee would have had many people fainting on the spot. But Gibbs didn't say a thing. I don't know why, but I was glad. Maybe, just maybe, he got the picture I was painting.
"Tell me, Agent McGee," I replied, "how long should I have waited for you? Should I have waited two hours just because you wanted to sleep a little longer when we had a call-out for a dead Marine at six o'clock in the morning? Or the entire day because you had plans with David and Abby on a Saturday when we were on call? Tell me, how long should I have waited?"
By now Gibbs looked murderous, and I felt a little bit smug about it. The next one who said something was Abby.
"Tony, why didn't you say something to Ducky or me? Why are we just now hearing about it? We would've helped you. I'm sure of it."
The puppy dog eyes with a hint of scolding did it for me, and I exploded.
"WHEN, Abby? When should I have come to you? When you made a sticker for me as your new 'trainee' or when you shouted at me for not bringing Gibbs back fast enough? Or when Ducky ranted about how he was disappointed in Gibbs' behavior? That's all I ever heard out of you two. Not once did anyone ask how I was holding up. And when I tried to tell you, you didn't listen. So I gave up. I went to Dr. Pitt instead of Ducky, and Jimmy became a very good friend."
By now Ducky looked rather ashamed and Abby sat crying silently. And I just didn't care anymore. Every last bit of friendship I felt for them, except Jimmy, was gone by now. Colleagues, yes, but friends? Not anymore.
NCIS naval criminal investigative service NCIS
"Agent DiNozzo, does your rant have a point, because I have to say, I have more pressing things to do." Was the first thing I heard after I sat down again.
For a moment I just looked at the Director and tried to figure her out. Was she trying to shut me up because she didn't want me to take it to the point of my undercover mission, or didn't she really care about what happened? I wasn't sure about it.
"But of course, Director. This has a point. I think the next part should be about Gibbs' stint with David and Fornell. Don't get me wrong, Gibbs. I'm glad you're back. And contrary to what most people think, I am glad you came back to help. And I don't even care that I have to be your SFA again. I didn't take the position of SSA just temporarily for nothing. I hoped for your coming back, Gibbs. But again, how you handled it, was just wrong. You belittled me and undermined me the whole time you were back temporarily, and since yesterday morning, you've treated me like the most hated person ever. Care to explain that?"
For a very long moment he just looked at me in a very calculating way. The Tony from six short months ago would have had squirmed at this, but now I just sat there and waited.
"Did you know, DiNozzo, that almost the entire four months I was gone, I got calls and messages about your inadequacy as a team leader? Every one of them was more annoying than the last. When Ziva asked me for help, I told her to go to you. Care to guess what her answer was? She told me you wouldn't help her, so I came back. I wanted so bad to rein you in and by doing what I did, I thought you would get the message. But now, I think we have to talk. In private, if it's okay with you."
At my short nod he got on. "I remember more than anybody thinks, so my behavior has nothing to do with forgotten memories. If it's any consolation I remember almost everything about you, Tony. And given that, I didn't understand just why you changed so much in such a short amount of time. But you're right; the way I came back wasn't as successful as I had hoped. And if you still care a little about our friendship, I want to make it right again." To say I was stunned would have been an understatement. So the only thing I could do was nod again.
To shock me out of my stupor I looked at the Director. She looked like she wanted to shoot me, and after my next words, she almost did it.
"So back to the things of importance. By now I've told you everything that went wrong with the team, but the best part I didn't mention. And that I have to change. For the last three months I was on an undercover mission, without anyone other than the Director knowing, and without backup. I had to get on that mission or being fired on the spot. And before you ask, Director, yes, this mission is over."
One look at Gibbs got me to explain a little more. "Before you do something you might or might not regret, let me explain a little bit, Gibbs. The Director has a long-time thing with Rene Benoit. She thinks he killed her father. So the moment you left for Mexico, she called me to her office and laid it all out. I had to get near and even befriend his daughter, a beautiful doctor without the slightest idea about her father's job. Two weeks into the mission, I told the Director just that, but did she listen? No, of course not. I had to play along until yesterday, when I quit on my own. Not just the fact that my life would be over if Benoit found out about me, but I would have brought an innocent bystander into the mess. Namely, his daughter. And Director, before you think about making everything about your vendetta disappear, let me tell you, the SecNav and everyone in the other alphabet agencies know about it. Because of my undercover work, the missions of three big agencies almost got blown up. And I laid the blame where it belongs, on you."
The speed in which the color drained from her face to the point she was as white as a ghost was astounding, and the look of pure hatred almost made me falter, but I went through with it.
"I don't know just what the SecNav will do about and with you, but I'm through with it. I've been sick for at least two weeks and I haven't slept or eaten right in almost three months." That said I went back to my chair, sat down and kept silent.
NCIS naval criminal investigative service NCIS
For the next few minutes nobody spoke and I let them think about everything I told them. The only one not lost in thought was Jimmy. He just looked me in the eyes. When I saw the question in his eyes I gave a nod and he took his chair and came over to sit down beside me. He didn't say a thing, but if I had to guess, I would say he wanted to look at them and see their reactions.
The first one to say something was Gibbs. And he said just one thing. "Tony, we need to talk today. My place, at seven pm." I confirmed and waited some more.
Ducky looked at me and said in a subdued voice, "Anthony, my boy, I have to ask for your forgiveness. After you said it, I really looked at my attitude towards you and I do not like it one bit. Because I was disappointed in Jethro, I mistreated you greatly. Will you give me the opportunity to make it right again?" The look to go with his words was enough to make me give in.
"I will, Ducky, and you can start with a good look at me after we're finished here. If you have the time, of course."
"I will take the time, Anthony." When he looked at Gibbs he nodded once, and I was really sure that this would be a joint op with him. I didn't know what to think about it. Should I let Gibbs be present? Did I trust him enough? But before I could come to a decision, Abby again spoke up.
"Tony, I'm really sorry for the way I treated you. But you have to understand that you just weren't Gibbs and I missed him badly. And you didn't make it right. You went on like nothing ever happened, like you didn't care. I had to show you that you couldn't replace Gibbs." At this point I interrupted her.
"You know what, Abby? Shut up. You treated me like shit and you have the gall to blame me? I didn't want to replace Gibbs. That's impossible. But I had to close the cases, and without help, too. But you just showed me that you can't be unbiased anymore, so I don't want you to talk to me again, unless its case related, as long as you think so. Understood?"
"But, Tony, everyone thought so. Not just I, Timmy and Ziva told me, they think the same. So when the three people closest to you see that, then it has to be right, right?"
Before I could even think of a reply to that load of crap, Jimmy jumped up and got in her face.
"You listen to me, Abigail Scuito. The only ones who think that way are you three. Don't you think the other SSAs would have said something? And don't tell me they wouldn't know. They helped and let their teams help Tony when your buddies were busy. You have to get over yourself to see the great person and agent that Tony is. I'm the closest to him at the moment and let me tell you, he didn't need McGee or David to close the cases. He did it by himself and he was very good. And of course he went on as if nothing happened. He didn't have the time for anything else." At this point I interrupted him.
"Jimmy, it's good. I didn't expect anything else from her. Don't stress it, they aren't worth it."
"What do you mean, we are not worth it. We are always worth more than you. You say you closed the cases without us. Tell me how when you were not even there most of the time. We did not see you for days at a time. We worked alone almost always." To hear David shriek like that shocked me a little bit. I didn't know she could be… well, so much like a girl. Before I could reply, McGee went on.
"Yeah, Tony, whenever we got to work, you weren't there. We had to look through the case files ourselves just to see what we had to do. And don't tell me you did any computer work. I know for sure that you barely can type your reports, and even then you use just one finger all the time. And at the scenes, you just stood there and talked. You didn't search the parameters or even looked at the victims. Sure, you were there before us, but that was just because you took the car and we took the truck. We had to use the pictures from the locals, and I don't think you took evidence to Abby even once the whole time."
"Shut up, McGee, before you get yourself kicked out for sure." This time Gibbs' glare didn't miss its target and McGee got the meaning well.
"You know what, Gibbs, if I work with you again in the future, I want him gone. He should go to the cyber crimes unit where he belongs. The place suits him well, and I don't think I could trust him ever again. And Ziva has to go, too. She shouldn't have been let on our team from the beginning. And I won't work with her again. I will place complaints for both in their files and recommend retraining for McGee and the whole thing for David, before they should be let on a team again." And before anyone could speak again, the SecNav entered the room and made his point clear.
"Agent McGee and Officer David, you are both off the MCRT. If both Gibbs and DiNozzo want it, they can build it up to their liking again. Agent McGee, you will be sent back to the field office in Norfolk after you repeat your FLETC training. Officer David, you will be sent back to Israel. I just spoke to your father and he wants you back. Director Shepard, you will join me in your office. We will talk about your behavior as Director of NCIS and towards the agents under your command. DiNozzo, if you don't want to be on Gibbs' team anymore, please don't go to Homeland just now. I want to talk to you beforehand. Good day, everyone. Director Shepard, if you will lead the way?" With that, the two of them left the room.
The silence that followed was almost deafening. And then the questions started.
"What just happened, DiNozzo?"
"Why have I to go back to Norfolk?"
"He talked with my father? Who does he think he is?"
"Toneee? What did you do? Gibbs, do something!"
"Anthony, what exactly happened just now?"
I decided to answer Ducky and Gibbs, because the decisions for the others weren't mine.
"You see, Gibbs, when I got here a few minutes before everyone else, I made sure I had backup. There's a camera and a mike in here and they recorded everything. It was a live stream to the SecNav's office, so there was no chance for the Director to make anything disappear. I didn't know he would come here, but I should have thought about it. But what's done is done and I can't be sorry about it."
Gibbs thought for a moment about it before he asked the next question.
"And what does he mean, if you want to work with me again?"
"Well, I told him about my choices. Stay with you or go to Homeland Security. I haven't chosen yet. I have to see where this goes." Before I could say something else, David interrupted me.
"You are at fault that I have to go back to Mossad? Why would you do that? I have done good work for NCIS, have I not? Why would the SecNav not want me here? And he cannot just send me back. The Director made a deal with my father and the SecNav cannot break it." She leaned back with a smug expression. Just a moment later the door opened again and four agents sent by the SecNav came in. One of them looked at David and spoke to her first.
"Officer David, we have to bring you with us to Dulles. From there you will fly back on a private plane from the Secretary of the Navy. Your apartment will be cleaned out by NCIS agents and your possessions will be shipped to you in due course. Please give your agency weapon to your team leader and hand over every other weapon in your possession."
With that said, he looked at McGee.
"Agent McGee, you have twentyfour hours to finish any work that's due before you have to be back at Norfolk tomorrow at noon."
While McGee looked rather lost, the look David sent me spoke of murder, and I'm sure she would have tried, but Gibbs shut her up.
"Ziva, go. I don't know what you think the Director can do, but the SecNav has made his decisions and nobody can do anything about it. And to be honest, I for one don't want to. You let this happen when you decided to disrespect your team leader so much. There was nothing he could do but write you up. And Shepard let this happen the minute she didn't do anything about it when Tony wrote you up. You think too much of yourself to work effective with this team, and I don't think your father would want you anywhere else."
She looked at me for a very long moment with a blank face, as if she was trying to work something out, before she looked at Gibbs for a minute. The pleading look she gave him almost made me feel sorry for her. After she gave Gibbs her weapon, she left with the four agents. As if the closing of the door was a signal, Abby got in my face.
"Anthony Michael DiNozzo, Jr., you will do something about this now! She did nothing wrong and she for sure didn't deserve that." Before I could reply, Ducky beat me to it.
"Abigail, you know very well that this decision was not something Anthony had any say in. Apparently, the Secretary of the Navy saw and heard something he did not like, so he behaved accordingly."
"But, Ducky, she did nothing wrong." This time it was Gibbs who answered her.
"Abby, do you really believe that? If she behaved towards me the way she behaved towards Tony, I would have fired her on the spot. And you know it." That shut her up and made her sit down again.
The whole time this was taking place, I watched the three others. Jimmy looked serious and lost in thought, Ducky looked equally lost in his own world, and McGee was almost green and was mumbling silently to himself. When the room went silent after Abby and Gibbs finished their exchange and Abby sat down again, it was Ducky who spoke next.
"Anthony, will you stay at NCIS or will you go to Homeland?"
For a long moment I just looked at him and when I spoke, I looked directly at Gibbs.
"I don't know, Ducky. This depends on the talk I'll have with Gibbs. And I'd really like to have it privately."
With a short nod Gibbs agreed with me and so we got up and after a short stop in the morgue, because Ducky wanted to examine me before we left, we went to Gibbs' place and talked almost the entire night, and at the end of it we decided to take the next day off and talk some more. At the very least, we had to look for new agents for our team.
FIN