Tami didn't know how Eric was going to take the news. They'd only been dating six months. He'd just turned 19. Just. As in yesterday.
She was young too. She'd just turned 20. Just, as in two months ago. Eric was on full scholarship, but Tami had been working her way through college.
She didn't know how serious Eric was about her. He had used the "L" word, three times. (She'd counted.) The first time was one month ago. She'd said it back, all three times, and once when he hadn't said it first. (He'd just said, "I know" in response). But Mo had used the "L" word too, over and over, and the whole time he'd been screwing that cheerleader on the side. So, that wasn't necessarily any indication that Eric was serious.
His car pulled up outside her dorm. He'd just spent almost his whole savings on it, so he didn't have any money right now. It wasn't going to be welcome news, that was for sure. He kissed her quickly when she climbed in the passenger's seat. "Sorry I'm late," he said, pulling away. "Practice went late. We'll only miss the previews."
"Let's not go to the movie," she said. "Let's park in a lot somewhere for a bit."
"You want to make out?" he said with a smile. "My roommate's out of town. Funeral. Aunt. We can go back to my dorm. It'll be a lot more comfortable. And maybe we can even…you know. If you want, I mean."
"No," she said. "I want to talk."
"Oh," he said, obviously disappointed. "Ok."
He drove to the far end of a nearly empty lot by one of the class buildings. He parked and turned off the car. He didn't say anything.
"I need to tell you something," she said. "And I know it's going to upset you. I don't want to upset you, but it is what it is."
"Just rip the damn band aid off, Tami. Don't try to be all slow and gentle about it. That just makes it worse."
"It's just, it's not easy to say. I've been trying to think how to say it all day – "
" - Say it already!" He'd guessed the truth, she thought, and he sounded angry. She hadn't been sure how he was going to react, but anger wasn't something she'd expected of him. Fear, maybe. Annoyance she hadn't been more careful, perhaps. But anger? She had expected better of him.
"Lower your voice!" she said with a perturbed shake of her head. "It's not all my fault, you know! It takes two."
"Well I don't know what I did!" Eric yelled.
"You don't? You don't? I think it's pretty obvious what you did."
"What?" he asked. "I haven't done a damn thing. I've tried to do everything right. I open the door for you. I pull out your chair. I give you flowers. I never pressured you for sex when you weren't ready. I never - "
"- Oh, so since I initiated sex the first time it's all my fault?"
"Well it's certainly not my fault you want to break up with me, because I didn't do anything to deserve it. If you just don't love me anymore, or if you never loved me and you were just saying that, fine! But don't go and say it's my fault, because, frankly, Tami, I've been a damn good boyfriend."
"What?" she said, looking at him with open mouth and wide, blue eyes. "I'm not breaking up with you! I'm trying to tell you I'm pregnant!"
"Huh? Pregnant? You mean, like, with a baby?"
"No, Eric, with the anti-Christ."
Eric blinked. He looked at the steering wheel. "Pregnant. How the hell did that happen?"
"Well, when a boy likes a girl, when he really likes a girl, sometimes he likes to tickle her in a special way – "
"Don't be sarcastic with me! There's no need to be sarcastic, Tami. I mean I thought you were on the pill! You told me you were!"
"I forgot it for two days in a row. I was all upset about Shelley, you know, breaking up with that guy and then threatening suicide – "
" – she never meant to do that, it was just more of her dramatic bullshit – "
" – I know, but it was still upsetting! And I forgot to take it for two days. I doubled up as soon as I remembered. I didn't think…I guess we should have used backup, but I didn't think…just two days."
Eric sighed. He banged the steering wheel with the flat of his hand. He threw his head back against the headrest. "I'm 19," he muttered.
"So I guess we should talk about options," she said.
"What kind of options? You mean, like if you want to have it in a hospital or have a home birth? I don't think you should do a home birth. That just doesn't sound safe to me. I mean, I know your sister says when she graduates high school she wants to study to be a midwife or some new age nonsense, but she hasn't sold you on that, has she? I really just think an old fashioned hospital makes more sense."
"No, I mean, options."
"You mean for names? Well, if it's boy, I'd like to name it after my grandfather, you know. We were close. If you're okay with that. If it's a girl, I like Julie, after my mom. Julius was your grandpa's name too, right? So that works great. Double whammy there."
"Eric, I mean like…adoption…abortion…you want to have the baby?"
He turned to her. "Don't you?"
"You said it. You're 19. I'm 20. We haven't finished college. We hardly have any money."
"Yeah, but…it's…our baby. And I love you. Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"A'ight then. Let's get married."
"Really? You're not…upset?" she asked. An immediate marriage proposal was not one of the reactions Tami had anticipated.
"Well, I'm…a little surpsied. And worried. And it's not the order I wanted it to happen in. But...you know…it's the order it is happening."
"But…how are we…"
"We'll figure it out, Tami. I'll do what I have to do. We'll figure it out." He sighed again. "Damn. I mean, damn."
Tami ran her hand nervously through her hair. "I don't think we should get married just because I'm pregnant."
"Okay. Then let's get married because we love each other."
"Yeah, but if I weren't pregnant, you wouldn't be asking me right now."
He shrugged. "You are pregnant."
"Yeah, but if I weren't – "
"But you are."
"Eric, you seriously don't realize why it might be a bad idea to marry me just because I'm pregnant?"
"Just because you're pregnant and I love you. That's two reasons. You need a third? I like the sex. You like the sex. You need a fourth? I succeed better at everything I try because you believe in me. You need a fifth?"
"Yeah. A fifth would be good."
"Because you've got this sensitive spirit, and you - you personally? I don't think you'd be happy later if you gave up this baby, or sucked it out, or however the hell that works. So either you can have regrets, or you can be a single mom, or you can marry me and we can find a way to do this together. Which of those sounds like the best option to you?"
"The last one."
They sat silently for a long time. Tami looked at her hands in her lap. Eric stared at the streetlight in the lot.
"You want to go back to your dorm?" she asked.
He turned to her. "And…you know?"
"Yeah."
He nodded and smiled. He turned the key in the ignition. "We get to share a bed every night soon," he said.
"No waiting for my roommate to pull an all nighter in the library? No waiting for your roomates' relatives to die?"
"Nope. No waiting for anything at all. Well…except for you to be in the mood."
"Well," she said and lay her head on his shoulder as he turned out of the lot. "I'm in the mood now."
/ -**-/
"You feel so good," Eric murmured. The old, rusty springs of the single dorm bed creaked. "Yeah...just like that, babe. Keep…just - "
" - Eric! Please, please,"
"Oh, God!"
She dug her nails into his back, harder than she'd meant to. The pain didn't bother him at the moment, though. Other nerves were tingling and overpowering the pain centers. He remained above her but shifted his weight off of her body by doing a push up. He bent his head and kissed her. She had to break the kiss because she was breathing too hard.
He smiled. "That was nice, huh?"
"Nice?"
"Wasn't it?"
She laughed.
His brow creased. "It wasn't? Didn't you...didn't I make you...you sounded like..."
"No, you did. I was just laughing because nice is such a polite word. It's...I don't know. Nice. Nice is something you use to describe the neighbor letting you borrow a cup of sugar."
His arms gave way and he lay to the side of her. It was tight in the small bed. Their bodies were still pressed close together. He kissed her shoulder. "What would you call it then?"
She shrugged. "I don't know."
"But you liked?"
"I liked."
His left hand trailed down across her breasts, which he fondled gently for a moment, before it fell on her stomach. "You really have my baby in there?"
"Well, at this point it's more of a blob. It's heart is beating, though." She put a hand on his chest, over his heart. She could feel it still thumping from the impact of their love making. She smiled.
"How far along are you?" he asked.
"About seven weeks. I think it happened...you know...that last day of summer."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I didn't know until three weeks ago," she said.
He moved his hand from her stomach up to her cheek. "So why didn't you tell me three weeks ago?"
"You had that tough game coming up. I didn't want you to be distracted. And I thought I'd wait to see...you know...if it really took. And I was scared. I didn't know how you'd react. I didn't expect you to want to get married."
He slid his hand from her cheek, draped it around her waist. "We'd of gotten married when we graduated anyway, I mean - - if you didn't dump me. Right?"
"I guess."
"Do you...do you not want to marry me?"
"We're just so young," she said. "And we've only dated six months."
"You've known me since high school. You know me."
"Yeah. And you're a good guy. A really good guy. I'm just...it's scary, you know. I do want to marry you. It's just scary."
He kissed her. "Yeah, he murmured. I know. But trust me. I'll take care of you two. I promise. We'll figure it out." He was acting braver than he felt. Inside, he could feel his stomach tying itself into a knot. He was going to be a father. A father. He'd have a family. Relying on him. This was like the pressure before a big game, with the whole team counting on him, except eventually the game was over. And if you lost, you didn't really hurt anyone. You were just disappointed. This was marriage. A child. A family. This was the rest of his life. It might not be over until he died. And if he screwed up, he'd hurt them. He swallowed. "We'll be fine," he said. "Piece of cake."
"We've got each other," she said. "We're pretty good together, aren't we?"
Who was she reassuring? Him? Herself? "Yep. You're the best, Tami. You'll be a great mom. And you'll make a damn good Mrs. Taylor."
"Mrs. Taylor?" she snorted. "Oh, no, I'm keeping my maiden name."
"What?" He took his arm off her.
"Yeah. I'm not taking your name. You don't own me."
"It's not about owning you. It's about being one family. One unit. A team. Teams don't have different names. You know, like on my team, we're all the Bobcats. It's not like I'm a leopard and the other guy is a panther and another guy is a lion, and - "
"Eric, I'm teasing you. I'll take your name. I don't really care one way or the other."
"Oh." He smiled. "Oh, okay." He kissed her. "Tami Taylor. Sounds good, doesn't it?"
/ AND THAT THERE'S THE END /