"What the hell?" Merlin backed up trying to open the door. It was locked and the key was… Oh, God.
"Your conversations start that way quite often." Arthur was motioning to the maid to h eat up more water.
"No, I mean, Arthur you must be joking." Arthur was motioning for him to strip out of his attire.
"No, I am not. Get in the tub."
"I will not." Merlin returned to scrambling at the door. He couldn't use magic with two witnesses. There was no way in hell he was bathing in front of Arthur.
"Get in," the royal prat commanded. Merlin tried to find the question that would get him out of this.
"Why?" he managed to ask.
"Because I need a bloody wing man and Gwaine's off somewhere." Merlin was sure he knew where. But, he wasn't about to give away the much bulkier man.
"That's just…" Just what? Arthur tested the bath. He seemed appeased.
"Forget this." Arthur tackled Merlin and restrained his gangly limbs. He turned to the maid, "Get out."
"What?" The maid hurried off and only shot Merlin a parting glance. Merlin gave her a look that screamed, "Please, out of the kindness of your heart, don't let this happen to me!" She left any way.
The in the next few seconds, he was stripped and in the tub. Merlin tried scrambling towards the now unlocked door. The soap made it hard for Arthur to get a purchase on his skin. They were slipping all around the floor. Soap went flying everywhere. With a big splash, Merlin and Arthur fell into the tub.
"This is humiliating." Merlin let the, now naked, Arthur scrub his back.
"You're telling me." Arthur didn't stop scrubbing though. "Ugh. Taking a bath with you."
"At least, I bathe every other day." Merlin shivered thinking about all the heavy sweating knights did, "Since when was your last bath?"
"Yesterday. Are you stupid? You filled my bath and almost boiled my foot." Of course it was a rhetorical question. "That's funny I could swear a flock of fleas were attached to you." Arthur kept scrubbing. It was a bit relaxing, if you ignored the prat at the other end of the sponge.
"And moths attached to you."
"Only because you don't get rid of them."
"I would if I could. They adore you. More than that Vivien girl." They both shivered at the horror of that. "So why did you need a wing man?" Arthur passed Merlin the sponge. Merlin started on his back.
"A cute girl and her sister." Now, why couldn't Arthur take this one on his own?
"Ugly step sister?" Merlin asked.
"You got it." Arthur practically groaned when Merlin hit the sore spot on his back.
"Bad day?" Merlin wondered why Arthur was so sore. Nothing damaged him that badly.
"Yeah." Merlin wanted to ask. He didn't have to. "Morgana tossed a book at me for walking in while she was changing. Gwen tossed a pillow too." Merlin remembered the feathers in Arthur's hair at lunch.
"How about you skip the date?" Merlin lathered the soap into Arthur's hair. He rinsed it out and let Arthur do the same for him. Merlin wondered exactly how they both fit into a tub that small.
Arthur's fingers were in tangled in Merlin's hair when he muttered, "I just might."
Merlin: one. Random girl: zero.
Wall is up. The next chapter will feature Colin Morgan and Bradley James.