Author's Note:

May contain spoilers for the manga/anime in future updates. Will make a warning post if necessary.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1: Ends and Beginnings

The descending sun drenched the sky and the soft clouds in a warm, orange tint. Two women strolled down the street wearing generous, breezy dresses and chatted excitedly about their swollen bellies. I desperately waited until even the sound of their loud voices and the tapping of their sandalled feet mingled with the rest of the city noise before dejectedly returning indoors, quickly wiping away the plastered smile on my lips with the back of my hand.

"Hmph. Still anxious about Sebastian, I see?"

A short, stout woman with sharp silver streaks in her bundled up hair blocked my way and threw me a pitying look. To many she was known as Lydia, the toughest drinker in all Karanese, but to me she was known simply as my aunt.

I waved her away. "It's nothing, I'm just a bit tired."

"So your soggy face ain't got nothing to do with him."

"I'm pretty hot too."

"Then go take a bath." She crossed her fleshy arms. "Hell Sera, you look like you've passed halfway through to the realm of the dead as well!"

Before I could launch an equally taunting response or blurt something else I would regret later on, another voice harshly interjected.

"Mom, you can't say things like that! Especially not in a situation like this!"

And downstairs came my savior and cousin Miriam. Unlike with me, Lydia never chose to battle out arguments with her daughter since Miriam could dismantle close to anyone with just the proper set of words. An arguable ability in the world we're living in, but since I always knocked heads with Lydia and nobody of us liked to back down, I would have had a lot of use for such a diplomatic solution. Miriam was a good speaker, younger than me and both sweet and clever, but I had to admit she wasn't the prettiest girl; her nose was too big for her face and her rye-colored hair never really seemed to have a real length. She wasn't a popular claim amongst the other sex but was, nevertheless, a very nice person and also my best—if not only—friend. Except for Sebastian. A thought which got my head winding.

Where are you, idiot? It's already been a good while since the bells announced the Survey Corps' return. Don't tell me you're intentionally pulling this to annoy me? Again?

Pondering, I lost my catch of reality for a second. Miriam surprised me when she gently knocked on my head; we're the same height so I was confused when I had to crane my neck backwards to look her in the eyes. But I soon realized that I had slumped down on a nearby stool like a sack of rotten potatoes, my arms hanging lifeless to my sides like a ragdoll's. My aunt had for once been rather accurate with her earlier statement: I was thoroughly exhausted and I would bet all my meager savings that I looked about the same.

"Don't be so troubled, Sera," Miriam said with a smile. "Mom doesn't know what she's blabbering about. And you know how much she adores Sebastian; she would never crack a joke like that if she actually thought it was true. He'll be here anytime."

She sounded so reassuring I almost felt bad when I answered, "I actually think Lydia was talking about my mother."

And as if it was something I was supposed to comfort her about, I gingerly caressed her arm.

Miriam's following silence only confirmed my theory. Guessed so, I thought as I eyed my aunt who was starting to prepare for dinner. She never gets tired of complaining about how much of a burden my mother and I are, even though they're sisters. I'm supposedly "lucky" with this… predicament.

"I'm going out," I announced and rose to my feet. As much as I loved Miriam and even my aunt, I couldn't deal with either at the moment. My worry for Sebastian suffocated me and influenced all my actions. Miriam opened her mouth to say something but refrained, and decided to join her mother in the kitchen instead. Something in my expression probably told her to stay away from me, at least for a while.

With stiff limbs and my mind elsewhere, I carelessly swung open the door. And almost slammed it right into a visitor.

I could feel my skin draining with color. He probably could too, and his fair, handsome features turned mournful. We both knew what he was here to deliver; the emblem on his jacket was unmistakable.

"Are you Seraphina Berninger?"

I slowly nodded. The noises from the kitchen died in an instant.

"Then I'm sorry for your loss, Miss Berninger. Sebastian Berninger is no longer with us."

My stupid, reckless, carefree, humorous, beloved brother was dead. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Even my aunt was silent for once as we sat opposed to each other by the table. The only ones who seemed to be fine enough to talk were Miriam, sitting to my left, and the famous Erwin Smith, commander of the despised Survey Corps, who sat next to my aunt. I couldn't even remember why he was dining with us—not that anyone was eating.

"Wait…" I fumbled to formulate a comprehensible question, my words disappearing before I could catch them. "What are you doing here, sir?"

His piercing blue eyes immediately turned to look at me. "I'm not sure I understand," he carefully replied.

I clenched my cup until my knuckles whitened and the porcelain threatened to crumble. "Why are you the one to come and tell me of…" My voice trailed away and I swallowed hard. "Instead of Seb—his squad leader? I thought that was the way you did it. And I cannot remember Sebas—him to be in your group."

"True," admitted the commander, his gaze unwavering. I briefly wondered how many times he had knocked on a door to tell an already distressed family that one of their children had died fighting under the Wings of Freedom, and how many times more he was going to deliver news of death. "But as it stands, the lance corporal is currently unavailable for such tasks."

"Coward," I spat.

Miriam stared at me and my aunt raised her head from the table to look at me, eyes widened in surprise. The commander remained calm.

"No, the reason is different, I promise," he replied. "I actually wanted to come visit you myself."

"Levi still wouldn't have come, would he?"

His icy-blue eyes lost their focus on me for barely a second and I understood that I had been correct. He sighed when realizing that I knew. "I trust he has his reasons, Miss Berninger. He's not a bad man."

A horse and carriage passed the building. The sunset was fading away, giving in to the darkness of the night.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. "What is it you want from me, sir?"

"I'm here because I want to help you."

I fought back my frustration; I didn't want to lash out at him for no reason except bad memories about a certain someone. "And with what would that be?" Can you bring my brother back? Can you bring my father back? Can you make my mother able to walk again?

"I have assessed your family situation. Your finances won't make through." He suddenly turned to my aunt. "Your clinic will have to be closed down by the end of next month if you don't do anything about it."

Miriam inhaled sharply.

"Mom, what is he talking about?" she exclaimed. "He's not being serious, right? All of this is just a bad, bad dream, huh? Sebastian is still alive, our business is going outstanding and aunt Alina is going to become healthy soon because we're doing everything to treat her, right Mom? This is just a horrible nightmare."

"For being such a smart girl, you're really naive," I said and rubbed my cold hands together. Miriam looked at me, shocked.

"I'm afraid he's right," continued my aunt. Her gray eyes were empty. "I'm sorry, Miriam. I'm buried too deep in debt. The money that Sebastian provided us were the only thing that got us going. And since he's—"

Lydia quieted when I looked at her.

"Well, isn't there anything we can do?" tried Miriam, her voice weak.

My aunt shook her head. "Even if we kick out your aunt and cousin it'll barely help sustaining us more than a month or two."

"And here's where I want to have a saying," said the commander. His focus had returned to me and I could read in his bold eyes what he had in mind. It came to no surprise after all, because I had seen it already before he stepped into the house.

"I would like you to join the Survey Corps."