Disclaimer: Not mine; no money being made, etc.
Author's Note: So while I hate voicemail in real life, I thought it might be kind of funny to hear what different NPC's voicemail would be like in Skyrim and this is the result. I aim to start off with the different guilds and factions in Skyrim first and then move on to other important NPC's. I might even do the Daedra, Civil War NPC's, and NPC's from Sovngarde. If you guys have any cool ideas, pop them in a review and I'll think them over. Until then, do enjoy this humble offering and I hope it you have a good laugh after reading this.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER 1: The Companions
Aela the Huntress: Hello my name is Aela the Huntress and this is Jorvaskr, Mead Hall of the Companions. I can't take your call right now since I am away on the hunt with Skjor, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Cheers!
Farkas: What's up? Farkas speaking although Vilkas is the better talker. Talk to him if you have any questions. Here's his number.
Vilkas: Hello, this is Vilkas although all you callers probably know that since the majority of you are fan-girls! But to set the record straight. Vilkas is a great talker. He just says that dragon dung so I'll have to listen to you all. But I like my privacy thank you very much. Just to let you know, this is my fake number. Not telling my real one!
Skjor: Hello, this is Skjor of the Companions. No pups are allowed to call me on this number unless they prove their worth. Otherwise, feel free to leave a message.
Kodlack Whitemane: Greetings, newcomer. You have reached the phone number of Kodlack Whitemane. Choose your message carefully. May Sovngarde be with you.
Athis: You have reached the phone number of Fortune and Glory, friend. Fortune and Glory. By the way, the name's Athis. I prefer speaking about fortune and glory. But we can talk about other stuff if necessary.
Njada Stonearm: Hello, this is Njada Stonearm. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm still trying to figure out why Skjor let the latest rookie join us Companions. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as you can. Might save your life.
Ria: Hiya! It's just Ria but I guess that's easier to remember. Afraid I can't take your call right now but I will as soon as possible, since I'm out bear-hunting. Did you kill anything today?
Torva: Hello, this is Torva speaking. Can't take your call right now since I'm checking the meadery maybe. Wanna join me? If not, you can still leave message and I'll answer it ASAP.
Vignar Gray-Mane: Hello, this is Vignar Gray-Mane, Patron of the Clan Battle-Born. You better not be an elf, Imperial, Talos-hater, Stormcloak-hater, or Battle-Born. If you're not one of those, we can talk. I've got plenty to say about those shameful elves.
Brill: This is Brill speaking. Wanna hear about how Vignar saved my life?
Tilma the Haggard: This is Tilma the Haggard speaking, dear. Bet you want the Companions for sure.
To Be Continued…