Sleeping Arrangements
A/N; hey, this is a little snip it that popped into my head that wouldn't leave me alone! Hope you like!
Mike and Harvey slept in the same bed a lot, every night, actually and Harvey knew that the kid cuddled in his sleep. He slept like an octopus, latching himself to Harvey like he had suckers. So he was worried when Mike all of a sudden started to sleep as far away from Harvey as he could get, hugging his knees to his chest as hard as he could. Harvey knew that Mike had nightmares, a lot of nightmares. They varied, right after his grandmother died, he had a lot of dreams of what he could assume to be her, the thing was Mike might like to chat and usually was impossible to shut up, but when it came to his dreams, he was tight lipped and had a face of stone. Mike literally let nothing through about them, except he cried out in his sleep, sometimes, 'Grammy!', others it was, 'Mom! Dad!' and occasionally, 'No!', but Mike always managed to wake himself up before they got above a whisper.
It really annoyed Harvey that Mike didn't think he could trust him enough to share his dreams with him, though he never brought it up, he figured it was Mike's choice and he had to let the kid make it, they may have been together for what's going on a year, but until Harvey put a ring on that finger, Mike was allowed to have his secrets.
That was until the scratching began. Mike started to literally tear himself to ribbons in his sleep, bloodying Harvey's expensive sheets. Mike woke up crying, sometimes screaming, but once awake would act like everything was normal, not giving in to Harvey's attempts to pry information from him. The fifth time Harvey woke next to a screaming, bleeding Mike, he had had enough.
"Mike!" Harvey said loudly, shaking Mike slightly. Mike opened his eyes and instantly focused on Harvey, his face hovering over Mike's, worry etched on his face.
"I'm fine," Mike replied in a small voice. "I'm okay."
Harvey rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on Mike's arms before pulling him up and off the bed with him as he stood and made his way to the bathroom. He roughly tossed Mike down on the lidded toilet seat and started to sort through his medicine cabinet and reached for a wash cloth. Wetting the towel he gently cleaned the accumulating blood from Mike's forearms and dried them with another, before applying a generous amount of ointment and covered them with gauze before tapping it in place.
"What are you dreaming about?" Harvey questions while ripping off another piece of tape.
Mike looked away from watching Harvey work and doesn't answer. Harvey stops.
"I don't know what you think I'm going to do if you tell me. You think I'm going to tell everyone at the firm that you're having nightmares? How the fuck is it any of their business? They aren't the ones waking up next to a bleeding man. You think that I'll think it's funny? How the fuck can this," Harvey pauses and holds up one of Mike's bandaged arms. "be funny? To anyone?"
Harvey lets go of any part of Mike not touching him at all. "If you think this is the kind of boyfriend I want to be, you're wrong. If you think I want to wake up next to you screaming caused by something I don't know about, you're wrong. I may be cold and distant and a jack ass to everyone else, but not to you, not when you're bleeding and scared in the middle of the night. I don't know what else you want from me! I don't know how to help! We never talk about anything anymore; you've shut off all lines of communication. You put yourself alone on a desert island with no way for me to rescue you. Do just want me to accept that you dream of something so terrible that you literally claw yourself? To accept that I can't do a damn thing about it? Well, I can't and if that's the kind of person you want to fall asleep next to, that's fine, but it won't be me."
Mike looked at Harvey, tears in his eyes and then looked down. "I dream of you dying." He whispered. "You die in every possible way; you get shot, you get mugged, you're in a car crash, you even get hit by a bus. And every time, I can do nothing to stop it, I see it coming and you don't listen to me, you tell me that nothing can get to you, you're on the penthouse level, where nothing can touch you and then you die."
Harvey took Mike's hand. "Nothing is going to happen, Mike. I'm right here and safe."
Mike looked at their linked hands. "Yeah, but for how long? I only got my parents for eight years, I got my grandmother for 16, how long do I get to keep you? How long before I kill you too?"
Harvey listened closely and was shocked to learn that Mike thought he was to cause of his loved one's deaths. Sure Mike was the common denominator, but bad things happen to good people every day. Harvey pulled Mike close.
"I'm not going to die. You and I are going to live a long and happy life together." Harvey snuggled Mike even closer.
"You don't know that," Mike sniffed. "You might get tired of me and my baggage; you might get sick of me waking you up almost every night. You can't promise me that because you don't know."
Harvey nodded, "You don't know either, Mike. You can't be fixated on what could go wrong all the time. You hope for the best and prepare for the worst."
Mike wiped at his nose with the back of his hand and Harvey winced in disgust. "How do you prepare for someone you love with all your heart to die?"
Harvey pulled away from Mike a little, just enough so he could see his lover's face. "You make every minute count, you tell them you love them, you spend as much time as you can together and kiss as much as you can, that's all you can do."
Mike shook his head, "I can't lose you, I can't. I've lost so much, if one more person I love drops dead, I might shoot myself."
Harvey frowned. "I don't ever want to hear you say something like that again, Michael. I never want to hear you even thinking about taking your own life, understood?"
Mike nodded.
"I love you so so so so much and I need you to trust me when I say I'm careful. I stay away from the bad parts of town, I associate with good people and I watch out for both you and myself like a hawk. If someone wants to take me out it's going to be one hell of a fight and it sure as hell won't be a bus."
Mike is pulled from the bathroom by Harvey and climbs back into bed after him. Harvey snuggles mike as close as he can get and Mike grips him like he's a lifeline.
"I'm not going anywhere, Mike. I'll be right here when you wake up."
Mike just gets closer in response.