Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or anything that goes with it. I hate that I have to go and say it, because I can live in denial and think I own it. At least until I have to do this dislcaimer stuff.
A/N: Just and idea that came to me. Uh. The story jumps about a bit. Just as a sort of warning. Review if you feel the need to. I hope you do review, as I enjoy them.
The first time they got an idea at how extraordinary Ianto's tongue was on his first day. Jack and Tosh were the only ones who welcomed him in any way that could be described as warmly. Owen and Suzie pretty much glared at him, making comments. Tosh gave him a sweet smile and Jack groped him.
He sighed and ran his hand thought his hair as he entered the kitchen area. Okay, Jack would want coffee, Tosh deserved some, and if he gave some to Owen and Suzie, they might start to welcome him. So he found his way around the small area, gathering the coffee beans and the coffee mugs. He stared at the coffee machine for a moment, he hadn't seen one like it before. Shrugging he started making coffee.
Everyone was in the main area of the hub, so putting the mugs on a tray he had found and washed, he went out and delivered the coffee.
Jack grinned at him wickedly, happily taking a cup of coffee. Tosh took her cup with thanks and Owen and Suzie with more skepticism.
"Holy Fuck!" Owen said, eyes widening, "Where did you get this coffee?" He greedily drunk the cup down.
"I made it." Ianto answered, a small smile on his face.
"Where?" Suzie asked, "And where have you hidden the thermos of your coffee? I'd like another cuppa."
Ianto's brow furrowed, "I just made it."
"With what?" Jack asked, stepping forward and looking into the kitchen area.
"The coffee machine." Ianto answered, "What else?"
"How the bloody hell did you manage that?" Owen asked, glaring at him once again. "No one has been able to work that piece of junk."
"I read the directions on the back." Ianto answered. Did they not see them?
Everyone's eyes widened as their mugs where either placed on the nearest flat surface, or crashed to the ground as they all grabbed their guns and pointed them at him.
Ianto's eyes grew as he held his hands up, "Did I not do something correct?"
"Where are you from?" Jack asked, voice cold.
"Wales. You know that, sir. You did a background check on me." Ianto answered, still unsure as to why they all had guns trained on him.
"Alright then, if you're from Wales, explain to me how you could read the alien language on the back of the alien coffee machine that no one has been able to work?" Jack sneered, "Where are you from?"
Ianto raised an eyebrow, "What alien language?"
"The one the directions were written in." Suzie said, glowering at him.
"But they weren't written in any alien language." Ianto said.
"What are you talking about?" Tosh asked, voice quiet, "None of us recognized the language."
"It's Greek." Ianto replied. They all stared at him in confusion, "It's written in Greek. I'm guessing you all just looked at the lettering and didn't recognize it and claimed it was alien before checking online to see if it was from Earth or not." They all looked from one another, guilty glances, "Can you all lower your guns now?"
"Alright." Jack agreed and everyone followed his lead. Ianto let out a breath of air he hadn't realized he had been holding. "You read Greek?"
"Yes. It comes in handy when you need to make coffee from an apparently Greek coffee machine."
. . . . . . .
Jack walked out of his office and took a deep breath. Everyone in the main area of the hub knew what was coming next. So, the three of them shared a look when Jack yelled out a certain Welshman's name.
"I don't see why he doesn't use his comm device." Tosh said, as she tinkered around on a little project of her own.
"I'm actually surprised Ianto can hear him." Owen replied. He saw the two girls look up at him questioningly.
"But sound carries really well the hub. Why wouldn't Ianto hear Jack?" Gwen asked.
"Well, his hearing is fucked up." Owen stated as if it was obvious.
"I didn't know that." Tosh said, looking up, "You'd never know he didn't hear as well as everyone else."
"Why is his hearing messed up?" Gwen awaited an answer from Owen.
"He was in Canary Wharf." A knowing expression found Tosh's face while Gwen still looked a little lost, "The battle of Canary Wharf, Gwen. Come on! You heard all the noise one, not yet, Cyberman created. Imagine what hundreds of those along with Daleks, people screaming, and explosions could do."
"Oh." Gwen's eyebrow rose, "I see."
Just then Ianto came into their line of vision. "Sir?" He called up.
"Some Russian guys on the phone. Talk to him." Jack answered.
"Sir, you really need to learn more languages." Ianto said, picking up the phone that was on the nearest desk, "Then I wouldn't be called away from my duties."
"Oh, but I call you away for other things than talking to Russians on phones." Jack hummed out, leering.
Ianto rolled his eyes as he spoke into the phone. Torchwood being the only word anyone recognized. Suddenly Ianto shot death glares to Jack and spoke in a very apologetic tone, Jack's name being mentioned a few times. Which lead into a more regular conversation. It didn't last very long, but everyone was staring in aw at Ianto speaking in Russian. It made his voice more rough, with a sort of growl coming out. Giving a few more words he hung up the phone and glared again at Jack.
"Jack."
"Ianto." A smile heard in the elder man's voice.
"For future reference, there is a difference between Russian and Romanian." With that he turned and walked back to the Archives.
. . . . . . .
Jack looked at Andy. He had found a real Roman soldier. If it weren't the possible end of the world, he would be ecstatic. Then he hears Andy's question. "What are we supposed to do? He doesn't speak a word of English, and he's dressed as a bloody Roman soldier!"
Jack then got his com device working, "Ianto?"
"Sir?"
"I think I could use your tongue right about now."
Both Gwen and Andy's eyes widened. They had a Roman soldier on their hands spouting Latin and he was propositioning Ianto?
"Not the best time, Jack."
"We've got a Roman soldier here and it would just go so much easier if someone were here who could speak his language." A small grin on his face.
"Sorry, sir. But I can't do that."
Jack's brow furrowed, "What do you mean? You can easily come here and speak to him."
"That is true, but I don't think I'd be much help." Ianto's voice sounded.
"Why not?" Gwen asked, making her presence known. She had discovered early on that Ianto's tongue had many talents.
"Being as he is a Roman soldier, he is speaking Latin, is that correct?"
"Yes."
"I never learned Latin, sir."
. . . . . . .
Gwen stared down at her two team mates. The alien was dead, and apparently so was Jack. She moved over to Ianto, and bit her lip. There was so much blood. It seemed to just keep flowing from his head. She knelt down next to him, "Ianto?"
He looked up, "Gwen."
She smiled, at least he knew who she was. That was great. "I've gotta check for a concussion, sweetheart." He gave a nod as she peered into his eyes while trying to stop the bleeding at the same time, "Well, you seem to have a concussion." She gave a half smile at him.
Ianto looked around, "Jack?" He croaked out.
"Busy being dead." Gwen said, her half smile turning into a whole one, "Got the bleeding to stop. Want some help up?"
"Yes." Or so Ianto thought he said. He wondered if that is what came out of his mouth, with the way Gwen was looking at him. "Do I have something in my teeth?"
"Sweetheart." Gwen started, looking slightly worried, "You're not making any sense." He started to protest and she just put her finger over his lips, hushing the Welshman, "Ianto, I think the knock on the head has messed up your language." She licked her lips, "Ah, you seem to speaking more than one language at once."
"What?"
"Oh! I know that! Uh." Gwen paused, repeating the word she had just heard, "Qué. Qué. That's Spanish for What, right?"
Good God. It must be true. Ianto swallowed and nodded. He wondered how he sounded. He thought he was speaking English. He decided to test it out a bit, "Are you okay, Gwen?" His head hurt. He couldn't tell. Some of it sounded English, and yet, not.
The Welshwoman looked at him for a few seconds, thinking. "Okay. You asked if I was okay, right?" He nodded, "Yes, pet. I'm fine." She gave him a sweet smile, "It's
really weird, you talking. One word is English. Another Welsh. Most I don't recognize."
Just then they heard a gasp, "Jack." Ianto said, trying to get up and go to him. But when he moved the world swum and his head felt like it was going to explode and leave everyone splattered with his many tongues.
Jack took a few seconds, but he soon realized where he was. "Gwen. Ianto." He looked at them, "You're injured."
"I've got a concussion." Ianto said, "Can I go home and sleep?" Or at least, he thought he said.
Jack tilted his head, "What the hell happened?" His voice soft and eyes hard. He didn't like that his Ianto was hurt and didn't make a lick of sense.
"He's got a concussion. And it seems to have temporarily messed with his languages." Gwen answered. "Should go away in time."
"How much time?" Jack asked, checking Ianto over himself.
"Can't be sure." Gwen said. Thinking that this would be a perfect time to have Owen. She stopped her thoughts before tears made themselves known. It still hadn't been that long since he and Tosh. . .
"How many languages do you speak?" Jack asked.
Ianto was about to answer when he realized he was asking Gwen.
"Only Two. English and Welsh. Though I know bits of a few others." She answered, "How about you?"
"English and an alien language." Jack sighed, "Which isn't going to help us figure out what Yan is saying any."
"Hello. I'm still here." Ianto said. Then sighed deeply when they gave him strange looks.
. . . . . . .
Ianto snuck up on Owen, which he seemed to do often.
"Oh my Jesus! Would you stop that?!"
"Coffee." Ianto said, setting it down on the desk before glancing at the computer, "French?"
"What?" Owen said, quickly closing out from all the sites he had opened, "What about French?"
"Owen, are you trying to teach yourself French?" Ianto's voice smug.
The doctor grumbled, "There is this girl at this club and she doesn't speak English."
"So you want to learn French in order to. . .?"
"Get in her pants." Owen nodded.
Ianto sighed and muttered some choice words in French.
"You know French?" Owen really shouldn't have been surprised, "Could you teach me?"
"No. I won't help you take advantage of a girl." Ianto said, seeming upset by the prospect of helping.
"Come on, Yan." Owen pleaded.
After a few moment (and quick thinking from Ianto) he agreed. They spent the afternoon teaching and learning a few phrases that would surly help Owen that night.
The next morning Owen came in with a black eye and a glare for Ianto. "Fucking Teaboy! Get your arse out here!"
Ianto had a taunting smile on his face as he (once again) snuck up on Owen. "Yes?"
"What did I say?" Owen demanded, "What did I tell her?"
"You really don't want to know." Ianto said, "By the way, nice shiner."
"She sucker punched me after I told her the French words you taught me."
"Good God, Owen. You didn't need me to teach you French." Ianto said with a slight smile on his face.
"Yeah, how the hell would I get her in bed, then? Huh?" Owen continued his glares.
"You could have done what any other English speaking person would do."
"What's that?" Owen asked, actually interested.
"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?" Ianto said and walked away.
Owen's brow furrowed as he mumbled the new French to himself. It sounded familiar. "Hey Tosh!" He called, walking to her desk, "Why do I know Voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)?"
Tosh flushed, "It's most known for being in the song Lady Marmalade, Owen. It means Do you want have sex with me (tonight)?"
Owen let out a few curse words, knowing that Ianto had pulled one over on him.
. . . . . . .
Ianto didn't look up from his paperwork as he heard the footsteps walk into the tourist front. He could tell who was there. He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. Making sure Jack did his paperwork correct often gave the worst headaches. "Sir?"
"I got you something." The smug smile could be heard in his voice.
Ianto looks up and raises an eyebrow, "Sir?"
Jack hands him a book with a CD attached to it. Ianto reads the title and author. "Dr. Greenfrench." He speaks slowly.
"I hear he's a good teacher. You'll learn it quick." Jack says, poking the book where his name is printed.
"Jack, I don't want to learn Latin." He sighed and set it down on table. On his paperwork. No, Jack's paperwork.
The immortal snorts, "I think you should learn it. Never know when we'll come across another Roman soldier needing your guidance." He paused and went for the selling point, "That and you'll get the whole underlying knowledge of all the European languages."
Ianto just looked at him, "I already know most of the European languages."
A pause, "Good point."
. . . . . . .
Tosh had a rather enlightening experience dealing with Ianto's many tongues. She had been on and off the phone all week with her cousin who was getting married. She would talk about her co-workers and the many affairs they had and what she viewed about it all. Of course all of this was spoken in Japanese.
She spoke of finally getting headway in her relationship with Owen (she kept out the fact that he was technically dead), how Gwen's wedding had given her some ideas for her cousin's own, and how she thought that Jack and Ianto were adorable together. Giggling on the phone and talking about what was going on in her cousin's life in preparation for the wedding.
After a few days of this she was walking and talking on the phone in the hub. But once her eyes scanned Ianto sleeping on the couch, she spoke quieter and explaining to her cousin why she was suddenly so quiet. Only she would start to forget she was supposed to be quiet and start talking in a normal voice again. Ianto mumbled something in his sleep and turned fidgeted. She smiled and walked up to the sleeping form, moving his tie slightly so that he didn't accidentally strangle himself in his sleep. But as she was doing this, she posed a question to her cousin only to find both her cousin and Ianto answer. Both answers in Japanese. She felt herself flush at the thought of her not to secret girl to girl giggles were completely understood by Ianto.
. . . . . . .
Ianto had been bored lately. Not sure why, but he knew he needed to find something that would keep him occupied. He glanced over at his lover, sitting on his side of the bed. "Jack." The immortal turned and grinned at the Welshman, "I'm bored."
Jack's grin grew into a leer, "Well, I've got an idea of something that would take up time." He then wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
"I've got a different idea in mind." Ianto said, licking his lips. "Y'know how when I was concussed and you said you knew English and an alien language?"
"Sure." Jack nodded, "How could I forget it. Not normal hearing you speak so many languages in one sentence."
"Could you teach me the language?" Ianto figured it could be helpful. Plus he'd always wanted to know an alien language.
Jack blinked, "Let me get this straight. You want to learn an alien language and not Latin?"
Ianto paused and blinked slowly, "It's more that I'd rather learn from you than Dr. Greenfrench."