A/N: I never expected this one-shot to be THIS long! I guess this just had a mind of its own. Anyway, this idea first started after I read Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks. It's a good book :) I highly recommend it. And, I've reread my story so much, I'm sick of looking at it. So, all grammar mistakes are mine…
This story initially starts three days after the shooting. But, it jumps forward in time by three years, so the CASKETT relationship has been established (with some flashback bits I'm sure you'll all love) :) At least, I hope! When my sister read it out loud, to my chagrin, I couldn't help but realize how sappy it sounded. But, c'est la vie. So, enjoy and let me know what you think :)
The sun rose over the New York City skyline, greeting a new day full of promise and opportunity; its residents going about their normal, daily lives, unaware of the turmoil and sadness inside the walls of a small hospital room.
It had been three days since the shooting at the captain's funeral. Three days since Kate was shot in the chest. Three days since she nearly died in his arms. Three days since he told her a farewell 'I love you'… just in case.
Upon the ambulance's arrival at the hospital, she had been taken immediately into emergency surgery, leaving her family and friends to wait in agony in the waiting room. As each hour had passed, the silence among them had begun to take its toll, the ticking of the clock on the wall a clear reminder of the balance between life and death. While many of them had sat together—Esposito with Lanie, Ryan with Jenny, and Alexis with Martha—comforting each other, Jim Beckett and Castle had sat alone, away from the group, lost in their turbulent thoughts.
Although shell-shocked and immensely worried about his daughter, Jim had distracted himself by studying Castle, who had sat directly across from him.
Castle had sat by the door, constantly looking down the corridor, watching for any sign of a doctor who may have information pertaining to Kate's condition. He was disheveled, an emotional wreck, his eyes watery and bloodshot from all the tears. He had run his fingers through his dark hair so many times that it was sticking up at odd ends. He had taken off his suit and tie, leaving just his black dress shirt—an ironic color considering the circumstances. Castle, as well as Lanie, had gone into the ambulance with her, and he hadn't moved from his seat since everyone else had arrived. He was rubbing his hands nervously, anxiously. On closer inspection, Jim had noticed traces of blood on his hands and on his shirt, eliciting a twinge of pain at the thought of losing his little girl. He knew that even though the blood stains would eventually wash away, their haunting image would remain.
Lost in his thoughts, Castle hadn't noticed that Jim had taken a seat beside him until he had felt a hand on his shoulder.
He had looked over sadly at him, before choking out, "I'm sorry, sir. I am so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Rick. It was out of your control," Jim had replied softly, trying to comfort the younger man.
"No, it wasn't," he had said in a harsh whisper. "If only I had reacted sooner! If only I had pushed her out of the way in time! If only…" He had trailed off, unable to form coherent words as tears began to cloud his vision again.
"Rick, I don't blame you for what happened. None of us do," Jim had said, as Rick had raised his head, scanning the faces of his family and friends. All of them had shaken their heads.
"Dad, you did the best you could," Alexis had said, sniffing.
"Yeah, no one could have known this would happen, bro," had answered Esposito, his arm wrapped comfortingly around Lanie. "No one ever expected that they'd kick us when we were already down."
The words of comfort hadn't helped. Castle had still felt guilty. He had still felt responsible.
After eight hours of waiting, Castle had spotted a doctor walking towards the waiting room, ominously slipping off his scrub cap. Castle's stomach had dropped as the doctor's tired eyes met his.
But fate was on their side. The doctor had informed them that Kate had suffered a gunshot to the chest, having passed through the lower portion of her right lung, breaking two ribs in the process. Fortunately, the bullet had spared her heart and missed major blood vessels. He had gone on to say that Kate had made it out of surgery, but that she was still in critical condition. But if all went well, she would make a full—albeit long—recovery.
Now, three days later, Castle kept vigil by Kate's bedside, holding onto her delicate hand, afraid she might slip away at any moment. He had hardly slept, nodding off only when his body betrayed him. The day before, Alexis and Martha had come by to check in on him and Kate, as well as drop off a duffel bag with clean clothes, knowing full well that he wasn't going to leave anytime soon. Concerned, they also convinced him to eat half a sandwich before he lost his appetite. Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie came by after their shifts, asking how Kate was doing, if there were any changes. But the answer was always the same.
The constant beeping of the heart monitor kept him eerily calm—a sure sign that she was alive. He never would have believed that his strong, independent detective could look so frail and delicate.
"Kate, I need you to wake up," he begged for the umpteenth time, squeezing her hand. "You've gotta wake up, Kate… Please….Please, wake up." He gently kissed her hand, a tear rolling down his stubbled cheek. "You promised, remember? You promised me 'Always', Kate. You promised." She was unresponsive.
"Don't worry. She's going to be okay," said a hushed voice behind him.
Castle turned around, finding a female doctor at the threshold of the room. She was young, late twenties or early thirties, with a medium build. She had medium length brown hair, styled slightly so the ends curled to contour her face, and kind, gentle green eyes. She was attractive, but not attractive in the traditional sense. There was a peaceful, yet mysterious aura about her. Something familiar, yet extraordinary.
"How do you know," he asked, his blue, tormented eyes pleading with the doctor. Due to the constant change of doctors making their rounds, Castle had ceased to ask questions anymore.
"Because, I'm a doctor," she replied softly, no arrogance present in her words as she walked into the room in search of Kate's chart. "I've seen my fair share of people like her. And I have faith that she'll pull through."
Castle nodded without conviction, not willing to get his hopes up.
The doctor placed the chart back and came to stand beside him, watching as he held Kate's hand, as if he could will her to wake up with just his touch.
"I'm Dr. Johnson," she said after a moment, introducing herself. "But, you can call me Hanna.
"Rick," he replied absently, his eyes never straying from the injured detective. "Rick Castle."
Hanna smiled a little despite the circumstances. "The author and his muse?"
"Yeah… Something like that." He raised Kate's hand to his lips, gently kissing the back of it.
A sad, knowing smile formed on her face before it disappeared. She could see it. It was far beyond partners or friends. It was so much more than anyone realized.
"She'll be fine, Mr. Castle. I assure you," she said softly, placing a hand his shoulder comfortingly. He nodded doubtfully. "I promise."
A humorless chuckle slipped from Castle's throat. "A word of advice, doctor," he replied huskily, anger and frustration boiling just beneath the surface. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I don't break promises, Mr. Castle. She'll wak—"
"Stop," he snapped, his sad, fiery blue eyes shooting back at her. "Just stop! Stop telling me she's going to be okay! Stop trying to make me feel better! She's lying here in a hospital bed with a hole in her chest because I couldn't protect her! So, don't tell me everything's going to be okay when it might not be! You don't know the ending! And whatever you say doesn't change the fact that she's here because of me!" At the end of his tirade, his blue eyes softened considerably as he turned his attention back to Kate.
Hanna paused before speaking. "You finished?" Taking Castle's cold shoulder as a 'yes', she continued. "Mr. Castle, I know what it feels like… to be in this situation. I've been there once. But, you know what I learned?" She paused, crouching down beside him. "I learned that the universe has a funny way of teaching us the most important lessons in life—whether you like it or not. So, Mr. Castle, instead of blaming yourself for something you had no control over, think about what you've learned from all this."
To take a leap of faith? To love her unconditionally? To make her mine?
"And I'm sure you already know exactly what they are," she said, as if he had read his mind. She suddenly stood up and headed toward the door. Before leaving the room, she turned around and added, "She'll wake up, Mr. Castle. She's a fighter. It's only a matter of time."
He turned to mutter a soft "Thank you" to her, but she had disappeared as fast as she'd come. He hadn't even heard the door close behind her.
…
Three years later…
"Aw! Now, would you look at that," said Castle, admiring one of many Kate's childhood pictures that were scattered across the floor. "You were so cute back then!"
"Back then?" Kate replied in mock offense.
He smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leaning in to kiss her temple. "Still," he whispered, correcting himself. Kate chuckled, looking through another box full of pictures that her father had brought over.
Since the shooting, their relationship had taken a turn. When she had woken up, the first thing she had seen was a brown head of hair resting on the bed near her body, realizing quickly that her hand was held captive by the person beside her. Castle, she had thought as a small smile had formed on her lips. Using all her strength, she had let the fingertips of her captive hand tangle softly in his hair, rousing him gently from his sleep. She had watched as his shoulders tensed, turning his head toward her in sudden surprise. When he had realized it wasn't a dream, his blue eyes had welled up with happy tears. He had wanted nothing more than to stand and lean down to kiss her, feel her warm lips move under his to convince him that she was okay. But he couldn't, not with Josh still in the picture. Instead, he had raised her hand to his cheek and leaned into it as tears fell from his eyes.
"I heard you," she had whispered softly, letting her fingertips stroke his cheek. His blue eyes had suddenly become apprehensive. He had looked away, unsure. "Hey," she had beckoned gently. Taking a deep breath, he had let his gaze meet hers again. "I-I love you, too, Rick." She had smiled briefly, as did he. "But, I-I'm still with Josh." Her green eyes had been sad, apologetic, but her next words had given him hope. "Will you wait for me?"
He had stood up then and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of her head. "Always, Kate. Always," he had whispered tenderly, resting his forehead against hers.
It was a few months after that moment that Kate officially broke it off with Josh. Then, it was a few more months before Castle worked up the courage to ask her out on a real date. Although their relationship wasn't a walk in the park, Kate quickly realized that famous ex-playboy author, Rick Castle, could very well be her 'one and done'. All she ever had to do was give the poor man a chance.
After a year and a half of dating, Castle finally proposed, but not quite how many would have expected. There was no extravagant dinner, no romantic music, and no one to witness their special moment.
The day was like any other morning they spent together since Kate moved into the loft. They woke up in each other's arms, cuddling and nuzzling each other in between gentle kisses, as they delayed getting out of bed. Looking back now though, Kate realized the one thing that should have tipped her off to his plan…
After reluctantly getting up from their comfy bed, Rick insisted they shower separately. Kate looked at him confused, before she wrapped her arms around him and smiled.
"What? Can't handle me this morning, Ricky," she asked seductively, her smile growing wider as she watched his eyes darken to a sapphire blue.
Castle groaned. Good God, she'll be the death of me someday, he thought. Then added happily, No better way to die though.
He smirked as his arms wrapped around her and hugged her close. Finding solace at the small of her back, his hands pressed her closer as his fingertips caressed her silky skin. He leaned down to kiss her temple before whispering in her ear. "Oh, Katie," he teased, his voice husky. "I can handle you. Just. Fine." Emphasizing his point, he rocked his hips slightly, leaving no doubt that he was ready and willing. Kate moaned at the action, biting her bottom lip to keep the sound at bay. "But, you're gonna be late if we shower together. And you know how long we can take," he murmured as he lightly worried her earlobe with his teeth. Kate hummed a satisfied 'Mm'. But whether it was in response to his explanation or the amazing things he was doing to her body, he'd never know.
Just as Kate was about to tug his body with her back to bed, he lifted his head, chuckling. Slipping his hands away from dangerous territory, he brought them to her cheeks, uselessly stroking her beautiful bed hair into place.
Kate pouted as she realized Castle had worked her up for nothing. Seeing this, he went about making it disappear. Castle leaned down, letting their noses nudge each other slightly, before he kissed her tenderly. Sucking softly on her bottom lip, he let his tongue glide across it, eliciting a soft moan from Kate again. It didn't deepen as both of them would have wanted it to, but it brought a smile to Kate's lips and that's all that mattered to Castle.
"Now, go," he said chuckling, giving her one final kiss before he turned her around in his arms and gently pushed her toward the master bathroom.
"Fine," she huffed sarcastically, before a shy smile curled her lips. "Make it up to me though?"
"Always," he replied, his eyes twinkling with their trademark childlike innocence and sincerity as he watched her figure disappear behind the closed door.
When he heard the water begin to run, he went about setting up his very sweet, yet very simple plan.
…
After taking a long shower to counteract the feelings Castle had stirred up, she got dressed and ready for work. She made her way over to the bureau where her jewelry box sat. Kate paused for a moment and smiled at the picture of her mother and father, fingering it absently. Opening the box, a puzzled look appeared on her face.
Expecting to see her mother's ring, she instead found a neatly folded note in its place. Her initial reaction when she realized her personal possession was missing was panic. But, curious, she lifted the note and examined the piece of paper before she flipped it open. Her lips curled into a smile—her worry abated—as she instantly recognized the manly scrawl.
Don't worry, Kate. Your mother's ring is in safe hands. I promise.
When you're ready, come meet me in the study.
I have something special to give you.
I'll be waiting impatiently for your arrival.
Always,
Rick
What are you up to, she thought as she traced the heart he attempted to doodle next to his name. Shaking her head at his adorable antics, she bit her lip as she cautiously walked out of their bedroom.
Making her way across the living room, she didn't find anything out of the ordinary as she peeked around the corner and into the study. Actually, the scene before her was quite normal: A showered and dressed Castle sitting in his chair with his feet propped up at the corner of his desk, typing furiously away at his laptop.
Kate smiled softly, watching his fingers fly gracefully over the keys with practiced ease. Sometimes, finding him in such a state of concentration was hard to come by. Writing was one of the only few things that could keep his attention for a significant period of time. That and other things, she thought with a coy smile.
As she took a quiet step into the study, Castle lift his head from the screen, smiling as he caught sight of her.
"Hey," he greeted, placing his feet back on the floor where they belonged. Castle casually closed his laptop halfway so she wouldn't see the screen and swiveled in his chair as he extended his arm to her, inviting Kate to sit on his knee.
"Hey," she replied as he wrapped his arms around her slim waist. She flashed him a satisfied smile as she leaned against him, one of her hands brushing wayward strands of his damp hair away from his eyes.
Returning her smile, he caressed her cheek softly before gently pulling her down for a brief kiss. They pulled back after a moment, their foreheads resting against each other.
"So," Kate began. "What have you been up to…Stud?" His eyes widened slightly at the new pet name as she raised a seductive eyebrow. She laughed at his expression before leaning in to capture his lips in hers once again. "Maybe I should have used that to shut you up a long time ago," she said with a mischievous glint in her eye.
He chuckled. "Maybe. But then, I'd be ravishing you senseless right about now if you did. I say that's a win-win," he replied smiling as he nipped her neck softly.
She slapped his chest playfully, before settling against him. "So, where's my surprise? And most importantly, where's my mother's ring?"
"All in due time, Detective," he said softly as he kissed her temple. Kate rolled her eyes, indulging him in his little plan, whatever that may be. "And as for your surprise, it's right here." With his free arm, he reached for his laptop and opened the screen.
She smiled at the picture she assumed was his screen saver. It was taken at the Hamptons the previous summer. Kate was in the middle, flanked by Alexis and Castle on either side of her. They were all smiles as Martha had taken the picture. It was one of her favorites, and apparently, it was also one of his.
With Alexis off at school, the picture was a little bittersweet. The loft was lonely without her and, she knew Castle missed her as much as she did. And, even Martha's occasional visits couldn't lighten up the atmosphere. It just wasn't the same without her.
Kate placed a light kiss on his temple. "Alexis will be back before you know it," she murmured softly.
"I know," he sighed heavily. "But, I still miss her."
After admiring the photo for another moment, he moved his cursor to wake up his computer. The image that greeted them now was the mosaic of the Nikki Heat series. He smiled softly as he gazed up at her.
"You know, I would have been lost without you." He reached for her hand, drawing patterns on it softly. "Without you, Nikki Heat wouldn't exist. And, without you, I would still be that playboy author with no direction."
Kate blushed a bit and ducked her head into the crook of his neck.
"It's true, though," he said, playfully tugging on several strands of her hair.
She slapped his chest, before returning to the subject at hand.
"You're stalling," she said as she chuckled. "What's this special something you mentioned, hmm?"
His eyes sparkled with happiness as he beamed at her. Turning back to his computer, he brought up a minimized document up onto the screen.
"I was trying to come up with the next chapter of Nikki Heat, but with my writer's block, I haven't been able to write anything worth keeping. So, in an effort to get out of this rut, I tried free writing, and this is what came out of it." He turned his head to look at her, smirking a bit. "I know you love my writing," he said smugly, winking at her. Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Anyway, I've been fiddling with this for a couple of days, and I think I might incorporate it into the book. It's a letter actually. It's not finished, but I thought you could read it and tell me what you think." Castle raised an eyebrow, asking silently.
At a glance, it didn't look that long. Kate shrugged her shoulders. "Why not," she replied, settling into his lap a little more comfortably. Castle's arms encircled her again as she began to read.
Dear Nikki,
It's been four years since I started shadowing you. For most of which you detested my presence.
But, I always believed, or at least hoped, that you would one day see me someday—the real me, not the annoying journalist. Along the way, I gained feelings for you that I never thought I could ever feel for anyone. I realized then that no woman in the world could hold a light to you. Not one.
For a long time, I denied how I felt because I became too invested. I didn't want to risk losing our partnership, our friendship, because I was scared that if we started something, everything would spiral out of control. Neither of us was ready… maybe we aren't, even now. So, I let you slip through my fingers as I practically forced you into the arms of other men. Men who were probably more suited to your requirements. Seeing you happy with them nearly killed me. But who was I kidding? I was a heartbreak waiting to happen…at least, I thought so at the time.
You've changed me for the better, Nikki. You've made me a better man. I'm no longer that careless, arrogant journalist you once knew. I've become more modest, loyal, and somehow content with the world. No more chasing. I finally have the woman I want. And, that's you, dear Detective.
We've been through so many twists and turns that I can't even begin to name them all. The day when you bleed out in my arms was the worst moment in my life, because I thought I was never going to see you again. If you died, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I'm your partner, your friend. I should have been the one to protect you.
But, fate handed us another chance at righting our wrongs. I took it to heart, Kate, and I made you mine.
I love you. And, I only hope you feel the same way, because you're it. You are my one and done.
So, please. Make me the happiest man-child alive.
Always,
Rick
Kate raised a hand to her lips, stunned as she reread the final sentences. It all made sense now. She bit her bottom lip as her gaze met his stony blue eyes. "Rick," she asked, unsure, uncertain.
Rick took her small, shaking hands in his larger ones, tenderly caressing them. "Before you came into my life, Kate, I didn't know how lost I was. I was wandering, searching for the one thing that no amount of money could buy, and that was happiness." He shrugged. "I just never thought that a police detective would do the trick," he said, smiling. Kate couldn't help but chuckle as happy tears rolled down her cheeks. "You had me wrapped around your finger since the night you flashed your badge at me." His hand came up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, admiring how beautiful she looked at that moment. "You gave me the inspiration to write Nikki Heat, and without you, I don't know if I would have ever found it." Shakily, she wistfully played with the hair at his temple as she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to keep the chaos of emotions in check. "I don't know when, and I don't know how, but somewhere along the way, I fell head over heels in love with you, Kate." His gaze wandered down to their hands, their fingers intertwined. He paused, scared to bring back those old memories he'd rather forget. "W-When we nearly died twice in each other's arms, m-my only regret was never telling you how much you meant to me. How much I loved you." He squeezed her hand, comforting her, knowing she would be in the same mindset as he was. It was part of their relationship they hardly ever spoke about. It was a time where things could have turned out so very differently. "Then, w-when you were shot, I-I thought I was going t-to lose you for good." His eyes welled with unshed tears. "I made a vow that day…that if you got better, I'd make it my life to make sure you knew how much I loved you. How much you deserved to be loved." He wiped his eyes, chuckling despite the seriousness he had made of an often jovial occasion. "Look at me. I'm a mess," he muttered, as Kate quickly held his face in her hands. Her teary green eyes shined with understanding as she rested her forehead against his. He closed his eyes and let her warm touch wash over him. After a moment, he pulled back enough to see her beautiful face. "It's been a rocky ride, Kate, and I can't promise we won't bump heads from time to time. But, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. For better or worse," he said, smiling.
Kate shakily bit her lip. The look of such undying love in his deep blue eyes was almost enough to make her lean in and kiss him fervently. She watched as he opened his desk drawer and took out a chain. But it wasn't just any chain. It was the same chain that was used to keep her mother's ring close to her heart.
She looked at the end of the necklace and gasped. Next to her mother's ring was a simple diamond engagement ring, glistening in the early morning light.
"I took the liberty of placing it with your mother's ring so that you could keep it safely tucked away. You know, with you chasing criminals after all," he whispered, grinning at his own joke. "And, in way, I wanted you to share this moment with your mother," he murmured as he placed the rings in the palm of her hand. "She'd be so happy for you." She let out a light chuckle, examining the two rings as Castle gently caressed her arms. It was the most beautiful gesture of love she had ever received. Not because he was asking for her hand in marriage, but for being thoughtful enough to see the importance of her mother. Like he always did.
"I-I'm sorry I can't get down on bended knee and do this properly…with you sitting on me and all," he joked, grinning as he playfully teased a curl of her chestnut hair. She returned the favor and lightly tugged his ear. He smiled, then whispered, "I love you, Katherine Beckett. Will you marry me?"
Suddenly, he was engulfed in a ferocious hug as he heard her say, "Oh, Rick! Yes! Yes! Yes!"
He returned her hug with equal fervor, before pulling back. "Here, let me put it on you," he whispered, taking the necklace and placing it over her head. He watched as the rings nestled against her chest, hiding between her breasts. He fingered the rings wistfully with his index finger. "Perfect," he murmured softly as he met her beautiful green eyes.
Grinning like a fool, Kate pulled him by the collar of his dress shirt to capture his lips in a slow, languid kiss. He responded in kind, letting his tongue slide into her warm alcove of sweetness. Caught up in the moment, she threaded her fingers through his dark brown hair as she unconsciously ground her hip into his lap.
Castle let out a growl, pulling her tighter against him—to encourage and stop her delicious movements at the same time. "Kate," he murmured, his lips hovering over hers as they broke away. Their eyes danced with desire, passion, and most importantly, love. She bit her lip and smiled as she let her fingertips graze the nape of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "You're going to be late for work."
"So?" Castle's eyes widened slightly, as Kate whispered in his ear. "I think we deserve to celebrate, don't you?" He nodded dumbly, relishing the feel of her body against his.
Silently, she pulled away and took his hand, leading him out of his office and to their bedroom.
Needless to say, they were late to work that morning.
Kate was suddenly brought out of her wonderful memory when she felt Castle's chest reverberate against her back. Realizing he had been talking, she shook her head to clear her mind. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"Daydreaming there, aren't we," he asked, as he kissed her hair.
"A little bit," she admitted, kissing his cheek in return.
He smiled, before leaning over slightly, grabbing another handful of photos to look through. They had been going at it for several hours, wading through the boxes of pictures to find the perfect ones to display in their wedding video on their wedding day, which their bridesmaids and groomsmen had insisted on. Castle was happy to do so. Kate, on the other hand, was another story—at least until Martha revealed her endless stash of baby photos of her adventurous son and had Castle wallowing in embarrassment.
So, here they were sitting in the middle of the floor, scanning through pictures and old memories of Kate's past.
As Castle shuffled through another handful of photos, he suddenly stopped. His brows furrowed in confusion as he took a closer look. That face. It looked so familiar. But where have I seen her?
"Kate, who's this in the photo," he asked, as he pointed to the beaming face in question. Kate leaned it, recognizing the photo instantly.
"That's my mother," she said softly, smiling as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "She was fresh out of law school when my grandparents took that picture."
The crease of his brow deepened further. With that new information, he now realized it was Johanna—a much younger version of the woman he'd come to know through stories and files. But, something was missing. He just couldn't put his finger on it.
"You know," Kate continued. "When she entered college her freshman year, she was actually a pre-med major, but by the following fall semester, she had decided it wasn't for her. My grandparents went crazy for a little while when she did that. But, when she went into law and graduated, they were so proud of her…and the rest is history." She trailed off at the end, still saddened by the tragedy of her mother's death.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he hugged her close, offering the comfort she silently sought.
However, the gears in his head started turning. Thinking. Putting the scattered pieces together. Then, out of the blue, Castle asked, "Did your mom ever go by another name?"
It was Kate's turn to furrow her brow in confusion. "Why?"
"Just wondering," he replied, trying to be nonchalant.
"She told me some of her friends had called her 'Hanna' in grade school, but she hated that nickname. She had always insisted on being called 'Jo' among her colleagues. She was even called 'Jo Jo' by some of her close friends. Made sense since her maiden name was 'Johnson'." Kate turned to look at Castle, who seemed to be stuck somewhere between shock, awe, and confusion. "You okay," she asked.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay," he replied quickly, but that didn't abate Kate's worried expression. "I just… I think…" he stammered, trying to wrap his head about such an impossible idea. He believed in UFOs and magic, but it was a whole different deal when it actually happened. "You're gonna think I'm crazy," he admitted.
Kate chuckled. "I already think you're crazy, Rick, but I'm still here," she replied, lightly patting his cheek. He closed his eyes and shook his head at her quip.
He let out a heavy sigh. "Okay. Well, uhm, I…" He paused. "I-I think I saw your mother, Kate."
"Yeah…," Kate said slowly, completely not following. "She's in the photo?"
"No! I mean… I mean I saw her. I saw your mother," he pressed, trying to convince her.
Kate looked at him like her was crazy. "Right…"
"I'm serious," he exclaimed. Taking her hand in his larger one, he met her gaze. His eyes were suddenly serious; the usual twinkle gone. "Three days after you were shot, a doctor came in to check on you. Her name was Dr. Johnson. Hanna Johnson." He could see the wheels turnings as her eyes widened slightly. "You had her eyes. Those beautiful, dark, green eyes," he whispered, letting his hand gently caress her face. "She said—she said you'd be okay. T-that you'd wake up," he choked out. Castle let the words sink in for a moment before quipping, "In all honesty, she's the one that told me to go after you. She gave me the courage to love you unconditionally." He leaned forward, resting his forehead gently against hers.
Kate was quiet for several minutes, wrapping her head around what Castle had just told her. She didn't believe in magic, fairytales, or the paranormal. She needed facts. Hard cold facts. But this was her mom. The one person she would do anything to get back, to love again, to see again.
"My mom?" she whispered, so soft it was barely audible. Castle nodded.
"Yes, Kate," he said, as he pulled back. He cradled her face in his hands, wiping away the tears that were trailing silently down her cheeks. "She may not be here anymore, but she's here with you, watching over you. Over us."
She smiled through her tears. "My own guardian angel, huh?" She paused. "She would have loved you, Rick."
Castle reached for her again, shifting so that she sat between the v of his legs and her back against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, placing a kiss against her temple. They sat there for a while, reflecting quietly, the photos scattered across the floor forgotten. Without Johanna, they wouldn't be where they were now. Her guidance helped them learn the most important lesson in life: to let love in.
A/N: I wasn't kidding when I said it was a long one! And it got choppy at the end. But, thank you for reading the whole story :)
Pulling Pigtails The High School Way will be updated soon. Promise. I just HAD to get this story off my computer first because I've been staring at this forever lol.