"Madam, although you managed to take advantage of me today," he said, speaking far more gently and quietly than she expected, "I want you never to entertain any thought of attempting to do so in the future." "Captain, I would never do that, I mean you were just so gracious to let me have the meeting and to continue it. I'd never dream of that." 'Heaven's I'm just babbling,' she thought, 'but I have to keep it up, I can't do anything else. I can't go backwards now.'
"Well see that you don't." he said, as if her overly bright, speedy conversation was entirely usual and expected.
"Oh never Captain, not a chance, I would no more dream of doing that or anything like that than . . ." She was going to go on, but realized the Captain was no longer listening, his gaze fixed somewhere over her right shoulder.
"Madam, your little ploy might be more effective, if it wasn't clearly visible and reflected in the parlor windows." Stunned, she turned rapidly, realized her mistake, and broke out in a rueful laugh. Lowering her crossed arms and fingers, she held up both hands in surrender. "Yes, fine, I'm caught – so what do we do now? Keelhaul me? 40 lashes?"
"Perhaps something more difficult, and if I understand you at all, likely more painful as well. How about the truth?"
He was dismayed to watch her fold under his gaze, her shoulders drooped and she suddenly turned away from him. "Truth," she said softly, "which truth are you interested in Captain?"
Stepping toward the front door, he gestured with a nod for her to join him outside, and passed through the door, as if the Sea Vulture had never arrived in their harbor. She stood, debating what to do, how to proceed, when the front door opened for her. "Please," he said gently, "I do very much want to put our differences aside, if we can."
Without a second glance, she sailed out the door and walked rapidly out the gate and down to the beach. Shaking his head, he watched her scramble down the cliffside and sprint down the sand. In a moment, he materialized in front of her, and she slid to a halt, landing on her knees, facing the surf.
"Whatever you have to say," he began, "please, just say it; we cannot go on railing away at each other like this. We have not been at such odds since that ghost hunter invaded Gull Cottage. This isn't how either of us wants to go forward, is it?" he said with a winning smile as he peeked around her shoulder, while settling beside her on the sand.
"Isn't it?" she said with a surprisingly harsh tone, "If you recall, when Tim Seagirt left, you made up your own version of reality didn't you? He finished that song, YOUR poem and before you even gave me even a quiet moment to respond you took it all away from me! You refused to admit it was for me, about me – rather about us and you never discussed it, wouldn't let me even mention it. All this time, everyone telling me I should begin meeting men, start dating and I wouldn't even consider it, because of you – I've been a fool!"
"Is that what you thought, what you imagined?" he said shocked, disturbed and surprisingly pleased to hear her admission. "What else?" she said throwing her hands up in frustration, and turned away, drilling holes into the damp sand with her fingers. Watching her, he let himself imagine her frustration, her desires, the hopes she would have that he could never meet. "Enough Madam. Surely you see now that sharing, opening up our hearts to one another can only increase this torment, this difficulty between us," he said painfully. "Captain . . . Daniel," Carolyn began, "don't you understand how very wrong you are?" she said turning to face him. "The torment is not in admitting our feelings; it is in not acting on them. Pretending they don't exist doesn't work, it just hurts. Don't you see that?"
Their eyes met, and the sound of the waves faded as they wordlessly made some kind of peace with one another. "I do see," he said softly. "I'm sorry," she said, looking toward the surf. "As am I," he offered. And without another word, they sat close together, watching the rolling waves and wondering how they would deal with the difficult world they were facing. But, surprisingly they both shared one single thought, 'At least we're facing it together.'