Contest: Twilight of Craigslist AD Contest (Part I)

Title: Desperately Seeking Darth

Rating: M
Word Count (minus A/N and header): 371

Don't forget to read the other entries! www. fanfiction. net/u/ 3211840/ Also, follow us on twitter! twiCraigslist

Desperately Seeking Darth. Join us! Luke says it's like his right arm is missing. (Forks, WA)
Date: 2011-11-12, 6.35pm
Reply to iamyourfather (at) edscollectibles (dot) com

Desperately Seeking Darth!

Wanted: Darth Vader. He could be hiding in your attic, among your Gran's old vinyl. Maybe he's between the Buddy Holly and the best of Elvis- I bet he loves that shit, though he'd never tell you. He's tough like that.

Maybe he's in that box in the garage- the one with the sparkly green dragster handlebars and the AM Transistor radio. You know that box- it's the one you've dragged around from house to house for years, not wanting to throw out all the good stuff. Yeah, that one.

Could he be at the bottom of your wardrobe with all the other long forgotten memorabilia, leftover from your fleeting Star Wars love affair? Shit, he might even be hanging out with the R2D2 Alarm clock, and that's something I'd like to see for myself! There were rumors, you know.

Here's a picture of Darth, so you'll know him when you see him:

theswca (dot) com/ images-carde/ 12back-dtvader-1 (dot) jpg

If he's still in his original box I'll take out your garbage for a year, cut your toenails once a month and scoop dogshit off your lawn, too.

Dude, I'll paint your fucking wagon if I have to. I'll service your ugly sister. I'll take your kid bowling. I'll serenade you with my fucking banjo. I'll bend over and drop trou and I'll take it like a man.*

Just let me have him.

"Telescoping Lightsaber" Darth Vader, unleashed on the unsuspecting public in 1978.
I've been looking longer than it took to create the Clone Army. I've been further out than the Dagobah system. Please, please look through your old shit. If you have Darth, let me have him. He's a piece of old junk to you but he's my only hope.

Darth, your destiny awaits! Do not underestimate the power of the Nerdside.

*Conditions apply to this last one. I might be desperate but I'm not stupid. We can discuss this one at length once you produce Darth. I'll be the one kneeling in front of you with BYO lube.

Host's Note: Tell us what you think by submitting a review. Don't forget to vote for your favorite Twilight of Craigslist entries at www. fanfiction. net/u/ 3211840/

Public voting begins Oct 25 and runs through Nov 6. Don't forget to check back to the contest profile page on Oct 25 to place your vote!