A/N: This is sort of an extension of that scene at the end of tonight's episode, when Sahira takes back her resignation. I sort of started writing and let whatever came out of my head be typed, so please don't kill me if it's too bad!
Sarah x
"You never made that call, did you?" Sahira challenged Henrik quietly. She just smiled at him. Had she really, honestly believed that he had done that? Of course not, she realised. "So much for priding yourself on transparency," she commented, causing a tiny smile to flicker across the Swede's face.
"With you, transparency is just about impossible," he replied. "Haven't you noticed that out entire working relationship has been built on secrets and working one another to get the reaction we need?" Not just the working relationship, he added in his head. He was not senseless enough to say that to her, though. She had no idea what he thought about her, what he felt for her. That was the biggest secret of them all.
"Just a little," she smiled back at him. "And speaking of secrets, I need you to keep one from Jac because she will give me no end of trouble," she added. Hanssen nodded at her, knowing that she wanted Jac to know nothing of this encounter. She would take delight in finding that Sahira had backed down to her mentor, and Hanssen didn't particularly want Jac to think that he really did favour Sahira over everyone else. Even though there was no lie in it. "Have you ever kept that one secret, that one that nobody, even those closest to you, can never find out about?" she asked thoughtfully.
"Have you?" he deflected. She smiled in the realisation that there was no way he would tell her his secret anyway. She had asked out of curiosity and just got her answer. When he repelled a question like that, she always knew that he was hiding something.
"When I was younger, much younger, might I add, I kind of fell in love with this doctor I was working with," she said, recalling all the memories. His dark eyes that guarded him when he needed it and showed emotion when he allowed it. Exactly the same as the ones before her now. His threatening demeanour that never intimidated her still didn't make her stutter like it did with many other doctors. And there was a part of her that still loved him. "He was older than I was, and much, much wiser, but I couldn't help it."
Hanssen gave a tiny sad smile. So she did know how it felt. She had been in love with someone who had no idea and probably no thought for how she felt about them. Well, whoever it was would have been very lucky to have her. That was a certainty to him. They were both staring out of the window, neither one realising what the other was thinking. "You know," Sahira broke the silence with her soft voice, "sometimes I think I still love him."
They looked at one another and then back out the window. It was an affinity they had shared for many years: though one was hard and one was soft, they both had a deep need for each other. It was just another striking resemblance they held that neither one was willing to admit to it. As far as he was concerned, she needed to focus on her career and as far as she was concerned, he was never going to love her so what was the point? She moved on, married the man who was now her husband and had two beautiful children. And yet her only regret was not saying something all those years ago. It could have been so different. Little did she know it, but he was in the process of making the very same mistake.
Hope it was alright!
Please review!
Sarah x