September 22 2007
Olivia walked into the squad room at 4:30 this morning she wanted to get an early start on paper work. It had been a busy week so it had piled up but when she looked toward her desk she stopped dead in her tracks there across the room lay her partner asleep on his desk still in yesterday's cloths. His head was resting on his left arm his face toward her while the other was behind his head resting on his neck. She smiled to her self thinking how cute he looked that very moment but as she go closer her heart shattered into a million pieces his cheeks were tear stained from hours of crying and it look like he had cried himself to sleep.
"el" she whispered, he didn't move so she gently brushed her hand over his forehead and said a little loader but just as gentle "Elliot" he shifted and opened his eye a sliver and closed them again she realized she had never touched him like that and when she did it was as if her whole body warmed when she touched his skin. So she did it again while saying "el wake up it morning" he grumbled something she couldn't comprehend and when she was about to ask him what he said he opened his eyes and gave her a sad smile.
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He knew that look she gave him she saw the dried tears and he didn't want to talk so he pretended he was still a sleep but when her hand brushed his forehead again he couldn't help but want to look at her the women he wanted but couldn't have his best friend his partner who knew him better than he knew himself. The tears began to fall as he thought about what had happened last night
Flashback
"Kathy what's wrong?" as he walked up to the house he once shared with his wife and children he saw here crying on the swinging bench they had bought so many years ago
"I lost the baby Elliot" she said
Elliot stood there for a minute stunned when he sat down next to her and put his arm around her she cried even harder
"I lost the baby and I am relieved" she sobbed "what kind of person am I to be glad that I lost my child our child Elliot!"
He held her and rubbed her back and said "someone who is human and loves her kids but didn't really want another one" he said "I understand and its not that we wouldn't have loved him or her but we aren't in any shape to start over." Tears began to fall down his cheeks for their unborn baby for their four grown children and for them "I love you Kathy for being the mother of our four beautiful children for spending twenty year with me and being you but you and I both know that you and I aren't in love anymore and maybe this is a sign from god that we can finally let go"
She looked up at him and smiled a quick sad one "I guess we had a good run didn't we" she laughed out load just then
Elliot looked at her and laughed too they were miserable the last few years but they had been happy together but it was time to move on
"I met someone" her small voice tugged him out of his thoughts down memory lane
Elliot looked at her and smiled and said "that great Kath I am happy for you what's his name" she began to laugh " oh no you don't Elliot Stabler if I know you as soon as you leave you'll go pull his file and try and dig up everything you can find on him!"
"I would not! How dare you accuse me of such a thing" he said in mock horror with a grin. "Just promise me this" he said "you will come to me if you ever need anything ever, got it?" she smiled "yeah I got it detective" they sat there for awhile crying for all the grief and anger all the sadness, hurt and frustration and when they had no more tears to shed said their final goodbye. One last kiss and they let go of the past ready to move into the future.
End flashback
"Elliot what's wrong" Olivia asked with concern her eyes growing darker with pain wanting nothing for that to stop his
He loved how she always wanted to fix him no matter how broken he had become "Kathy lost the baby" he said quietly "oh el I am so sorry" her eyes became glossy and he knew she was fighting of the tears. Tears for him but not out of pity out of pure love "I wish there was something I could do for you" she said he sat up slowly in his chair and looked at her again and said "you have helped me already just by being here" she nodded her head and stood up
'God' Olivia thought to herself 'I want so much to take all the pain away for him to tell him its going to be okay that Kathy and him will get threw it' Olivia sighed as she sat at her desk when he knocked her from her train of though
" we finally let each other go twenty years and we finally let go" he looked her in the eye and conveyed everything he was felling through his body to her and by only his eyes
"so what is on the agenda for you now" Olivia smiled trying to lighten the mood when he quipped back " maybe I'll go to Mexico and hook up with some hot piece of ass for vacation" she threw her head back in laughter and he grinned 'god I love that laugh' he thought to himself and before he could stop himself he told her " you have the sexist laugh you know that?" she just grinned and threw a pen at him and said "I'm not going to Mexico with you so don't even ask" he laughed and when they had finally calmed down he looked at the clock
"what are you doing her so early anyways" "paper work" she said got a bight of a pile and sense you're here you get to help she tossed him a few files and then they went to work after a while Elliot looked up and over at her and thought to himself 'soon, very soon'