Why Akatsuki owns all evil criminal organizations and pwns them all.
PART ONE ( #1 : The epic awkward moments )
"Listen up, everybody."
The Akatsuki members who were all assembled for a discussion session straightened up instantly upon hearing the monotonous tone emitting from their leader. Feeling uneasy, they shifted from their unsightly seating positions and adjusted to a much comfortable posture. Well, all except for one Jashinist.
"WHAT THE FUCK! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF MY RITUAL!" a certain man with silver-coloured hair hollered. "What is the meaning of this fucking shit!"
Kakuzu eyed Hidan with hostility. Then, without warning, a pair of hands grabbed the back of Hidan's head with such force that it made the Jashin-obsessed man convulse in pain. "OW! HEY! WHAT ARE YOU- oh gosh, that actually feels kinda' nice," he commented with a wide grin stretching across his face.
Pein tapped his foot impatiently. "I have something important to announce," he said in a low-pitched voice. "So listen, people."
"DEIDARA -SENPAI!" Tobi shrieked before Pein could continue, much to his annoyance. "BITE ME!" he yelled, pouncing on a startled Deidara with outstretched fingers. Deidara cussed and cowered instinctively, managing to avoid Tobi by a few centimetres. "That was close, un!"
Suddenly, realisation struck Deidara in the head. His blood vessels looked ready to burst at that moment. "TOBI, UN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ALMOST KILLED ME, UN!"
Tobi backed away from the angry man, with tears forming at the corner of his mask's eye hole. "Sen...nn...pp...ai..." he sniffed.
The rest of the Akatsuki members stayed quiet. They knew better than to try and agitate Pein. He was scary when he got mad. However, the members could swear that they saw Konan's eyes gleaming whenever he exploded in fury. Strange.
Pein creased his eyebrows in worry and frustration. He had a lot of work to complete and he had no time to waste on these ignorant little brats who knew nothing about being evil. Sure, being in Akatsuki made them look evil and cunning, but as soon as they were away from the eyes of villagers and people, they became a group of three year-old kids. Pein was sick of all the mayhem. Nobody listened when he wanted to announce something. Nobody cared when he literally collapsed to the floor trying to catch his breath. But at least, Konan cared, and he was truly grateful for that.
He took in a deep breath. Self control, he thought. Just bear with this for a little longer. Stepping forward, he gave a loud, awkward cough and glanced around the room. "I believe it's my turn to talk," he said in his most authoritative tone.
The Akatsuki members stopped their chatter and turned to look at him curiously. Pein suddenly felt respected, a feeling he had never felt in what seemed like years. He closed his eyes in satisfaction. He was finally getting the respect he deserved! But something was bothering him, and it was fishy, like Kisame. Fishy.
Something was wrong! The Akatsuki members would NEVER give him due respect! And what was he seeing now? He swallowed hard. Even Tobi, the funky little boy who could hardly sit still was eyeing him intently.
"What?" He managed, trying to maintain his cool. "What is it? Why are you guys staring at me like..."
"PEIN-SAMA!" Tobi shouted, sending Pein's heart flying off to another universe. "YOU HAVE A PIMPLE!"
...
...
...
Huh?
Awkward silence.