A/N: Um...haha not quite sure what inspired this particular subject of a Kakasaku fic...but it WAS three A.M...yup.
Title: For Lack Of Konohakagure's Precaution Kits
Summary: "What makes you think Sakura is early this month?" The young Uchiha asked, despite his older brother's raised brow. Because regardless of himself, Uchiha Sasuke was slightly unnerved, and disturbed that his Sensei could know such a thing about their female teammate.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...unfortunately
The first time Haruno Sakura started her Menstrual cycle she was on a mission...in the Land of Tea...with her three male teammates...in the middle of nowhere on a hot summer day.
Sweat slid down her spine, arms, legs and nonexistent breast like rain, thoroughly plastering her already dirt ridden clothing to her small, thirteen year old body.
Channeling chakra to her feet in a precise manner, Haruno Sakura leapt from tree limb to tree limb, struggling to keep up with her teammates.
It wasn't so much that she lacked the speed, because they really weren't traveling at an urgent pace. And her chakra control was better than Naruto's and Sasuke's, so it couldn't have been that she was using excessive amounts.
The pink-haired kunoichi resisted the urge to groan as an intense cramp slammed into her lower abdominal. What was this?
They hadn't started running too soon after eating, she knew that. And this pain wasn't like the normal 'you started exercising too early after eating' cramp.
No, it was uncomfortably low.
In fact, she felt kind of...wet
Sakura faltered, her foot missed the next limb by a mere inch, and she went plummeting to the earth. Thankfully, she wasn't too incompetent, to completely panic, and she landed with a slightly ungraceful lurch on chakra laced feet, some twenty feet below.
What!? What!? What!?
She had not just wet her pants, there was no way...
She couldn't be having this kind of mental break down, not at her age!
It was then, as her team landed around her, that Haruno Sakura came to the unpleasant, and slightly embarrassing conclusion, that she was a woman.
No, no, no, no! Not here! Not in front of Sasuke!
She wasn't a complete idiot, although her mother had neglected to tell her anything on the subject, trapped in her 'my daughter is still a baby' mindset, and therefore 'she's not ready yet' whole thing.
As a matter of fact, she knew just about diddlysquat other than that you bled.
Oh kami, she was bleeding! It would show straight through her pants.
"Agh, No!" She groaned, burying her head into her knees.
"Eh, Sakura-chan, are you OK? You're not hurt are you?"
Unfortunately for Naruto, his concern and lack of perception on personal space had thus far, never been taken very well by Sakura, and coupled by this unfortunate self-discovery, and a certain female's raging hormones, Sakura's fist made an unpleasant impact on his face.
Kakashi and Sasuke easily ignored Naruto's pitiful whining as he rubbed the enlarged bump on his head.
"Eh, Sakura, I really don't think that was called for." Kakashi admonished softly, his nose still stuck in his newest version of itcha itcha tactics.
Whilst Sasuke simply blew out a breath, and glanced at the sky, clearly wishing to keep moving.
"Yeah Sakura, come on." Naruto whined from behind the silver-haired Jounin.
"Naruto..." the young girl growled in warning.
"Can't you two stop being idiots for one minute so we can keep moving?" Sasuke interjected moodily.
Sakura swung the young Uchiha a hurt look at being lumped together in the 'idiot' section with Naruto, but didn't have to mindset nor the energy to dwell on it too long.
"Unfortunately, Sasuke's right, at least on the 'we need to keep moving part," Their Sensei intoned. "So, if you're not hurt, let's get going Sakura."
The pink-haired girl stiffened, already knowing instinctively that there was a nice big stain on her back side, and that no matter what, she had to stop the flow before it was too noticeable.
"Uh, eh..."
At her hesitant, and somewhat terrorized look, Kakashi actually took his eyes off his sacred book, and landed them on Sakura.
"Is there a problem?" He asked in his usual placid tone.
"N-no! I mean..." Sakura fumbled for an answer. The last one she wanted to say this to was Kakashi Sensei, pervert that he was. But then again, trekking half way across the land of Tea with a big red stain in the general area of her rear, a stain that was sure to get bigger if not helped soon, was not really an option.
Not to mention, she felt highly uncomfortable bleeding without knowing the specifics of how long this was supposed to last, and exactly why she was bleedin- wait, was that smell coming from her?!
Another soft groan escaped her small lips.
"Actually Sensei...c-could I talk to you for a moment?"
At this, she received a raised brow from Sasuke, and a quite perplexed look from Naruto. Kakashi however, simply shrugged and gave her the usual eye crease, seemingly unsurprised, and unconcerned with his female pupil's request.
"Give us a moment will you?" Kakashi spoke to the two boys. Exchanging looks, Naruto and Sasuke resumed to the tree tops and out of earshot.
Kakashi squatted down to her level, eying Sakura, and suspecting that this had something to do with a certain Uchiha.
Imagine his surprise, and embarrassment, when Sakura buried her face into her knees, and mumbled "I'm bleeding." so quietly that he had had to strain to make it out.
The pink that stained his cheeks was thankfully covered by his mask. However, it took several moments of clearing his throat before he finally found his voice, and when he did it was an unceremonious "Oh." that came forth.
He would forever curse his luck, and female pupils for this duty to fall to him.
He just hoped he wouldn't have to explain anything. But from the look on her face...this was going to be a long day.
Page break.
It was nearly two hours to the nearest village, in which Sakura endured the extreme discomfiture of intense cramping as she leapt from tree limb to tree limb at the back of the group and the wetness between her thighs. During the last half hour of the trip she had even felt the blood running down her legs, not the most fun thing in the world.
And she just could not get the heat out of her cheeks. She scowled at the ground. Perfect timing.
At last, when they reached the village, Naruto and Sasuke were instructed to wait at the gate with Kakashi until Sakura was ready.
However, just as the silver-haired nin had feared, Sakura whispered ever so softly that she didn't even know what to look for.
And so, he found himself walking the aisles of the feminine hygiene section with a blushing pink-haired student in tow.
Why didn't the village have precaution kits they gave to kunoichi for occasions like this? With instructions and items?
It wasn't until around a half an hour later, with Sakura and Kakashi still roaming the aisles, the young girl still quite in the dark, and Kakashi not quite willing to grab the needed items and explain the process of using them, that Sakura finally worked past her embarrassment to ask him to explain why she was bleeding.
Kakashi resisted the urge to wince, and instead spouted offhandedly the dictionary answer that readily came to mind.
"Your menstrual cycle is the monthly discharge of blood from the uterus, provided that you are not pregnant and you aren't going through menopause."
The young girl promptly turned as pink as her namesake, and Kakashi slightly regretted his lack of tact.
It had probably been more out of pity for Sakura, that the female store-clerk finally swooped in to the rescue, considering the old woman had been sending him glares that could have killed a puppy.
Giving the woman clerk an eye-creased smile of relief, Kakashi watched as she ushered Sakura into a back room, products in hand.
Twenty minutes later, Sakura came out freshly clothed, properly 'equipped', and thoroughly enlightened on the female body.
Yes, Haruno Sakura's first Menstrual cycle was an interesting one at that.
Poor Sakura would have no idea that she would rue this day more than she could imagine thanks to a certain silver-haired Jounin, in the years to come.
It was slightly miraculous that for many years, Hatake Kakashi was the only one who knew when Sakura started her menstrual cycle. Well, perhaps not so very miraculous, considering that Naruto was about as thick-headed as they came, and through years examination, Sakura had deduced that Sasuke wasn't too far behind him.
Being that Kakashi remembered that one incident from nearly seven years ago wasn't exactly comforting, to say the least.
He always gave her that look, and a wide berth when that certain week rolled around. And she hated him for it.
Sure, her hormones were on an extra rampage that week, and who wouldn't avoid a livid pink-haired woman? But there was just something about Hatake Kakashi knowing exactly what day of the month her uterus started to bleed that just irritated the living crap out of her.
It just happened that the pink-haired medic's moods were so unpredictable that the male populace of the ninja world joked that Sakura was always on her period. Well...more or so Shisui and Naruto.
In fact, it was the topic of a certain team's conversation whilst on a mission with said woman...
Shisui leaned close to the fire, eying Naruto. "I'm telling you, she starts on the eighth, now give me my 2000 yen."
"No way, it's the fifteenth! I know cause she's extra moody on that day." Naruto shot back.
"Can we not talk about this?" Sasuke snapped from the far corner of the cave that the five Shinobi had settled in to camp. "besides, you're both way of, it's the 1st."
Naruto snorted. "Yeah right, Teme."
Shisui turned from the verbal brawl that had broken out between Sasuke and Naruto, and glanced at Itachi.
"What do you think cousin?"
"Haruno-san's menstrual cycle is hardly a concern of mine, Shisui. And I doubt she would appreciate the discussion turning to something so frivolous as what day her uterus starts to bleed."
"Dead right."
Naruto and Sasuke froze, Itachi merely glanced up, and Shisui winced at the silky feminine voice that slipped through the entrance of the cave.
"So tell me," Purred a half drenched Sakura, who had just been out gathering firewood in the downpour. "Why are you all conversing about what time of the month I start my period?"
The honey-sweet tone erected shivers from the three guilty parties.
"Well you see, long story short-"
"Actually-" Sakura cut in "I rather don't care" The flare of chakra was enough to even catch the ever silent, and reading Hatake Kakashi's attention.
"Before you punch anyone Sakura, please note that we are in a cave, and any unstable chakra waves will cause thousands of pounds of boulders to come crashing down upon us." Shisui laughed nervously.
"Well, why don't we just step outside?" Sakura smiled. Honestly, the nerve of these men!
And how did a subject like her period come up anyway? Ugh. Disgusting.
"hah, nasty storm out there, wouldn't want me to catch a cold would you?"
Sakura scoffed, rolling her eyes at his feeble excuse.
"I think the rain is the least of your concern." Sakura hissed, marching over to the Uchiha in question.
Surprisingly, the eldest Uchiha sat stock-still while the enraged woman grabbed a fistful of Shisui's uniform, the other raised back in preparation of a deadly punch.
That infuriating smirk that shifted his lips, perplexed her, to say the least, but she would dwell on Shisui's perverted tendency's later...after she had removed every organ from his body.
"Sakura, what is the date today?" From the far corner of the cave, Hatake Kakashi still sat thumbing through his book, reclined like a king on his throne.
Emerald eyes snapped to the silver-haired Jounin, her fist still curled around Shisui's shirt. Pink brows rose in puzzlement as she recited the date. "April 24th, Tuesday...why?"
"Oh, no reason...I just couldn't quite remember...there was something I wanted to be sure of, is all."
The vein in Sakura's forehead twitched. "Hatake Kakashi, I swear if you so much as utter one word..."
It was the deathly calm of her tone, the quietness of it, that assured team seven, and the two extra Uchihas present, that Haruno Sakura was livid...for whatever reason.
Seemingly unconcerned, Kakashi casually set his book aside, and sat up.
"Weren't you supposed to get firewood?"
Oh, no. there was no way he was going to pull this on her. Sakura's jaw clenched. The infuriating man, It was inevitable what he was driving at.
And of course he had noticed that she hadn't brought any firewood back...and now everyone else had noticed too.
"It was too wet." She ground out, clenching her fists.
"Was it?" his innocent tone sent her on alert.
"Hatake." Sakura hissed
The eye-crease appeared
"Don't." she was going to kill him.
The smirk formed over his masked lips.
"You." She listed off all the organs she could rupture with a flick of her finger.
And he re-opened his book.
"Dare."
Silence reigned in the cavern, Sakura's threat hanging like a poison in the air. All eyes were trained on the famous copy-nin, anticipating his next move, and whether or not he was reckless enough to actually say whatever it was that Sakura clearly, did not want him to say.
"You're early this month."
Death. Blood. A thousand kunai flying into his body and piercing into his very soul.
The pink-haired woman was so mortified, so furious that she was for once in her life, immobile She wanted to punch him through a wall so bad she was trembling.
And there he sat, all unconcerned and smug while he read his smut. And to think that she-
"What? How could you know that Hatake? You been taking some of that action?" It truly was unfortunate that Shisui didn't have a censor on his brain. It was also unfortunate that amongst the chakra control and immense strength, Tsunade also passed along her infamous temper to her pupil. Because before the poor, unsuspecting Uchiha could blink, he was suddenly flying across the cave and out into the rain.
It wasn't until after Sakura had marched out to the dazed man, to thoroughly beat Shisui to a bloody pulp, that Sasuke turned to his ex-sensei, unfazed by his cousin's half jokingly, half serious cries for help.
"What makes you think Sakura is early this month?" The young Uchiha asked, despite his older brother's raised brow. Because regardless of himself, Uchiha Sasuke was slightly unnerved, and disturbed that his Sensei could know such a thing about their female teammate.
Without so much as batting an eye, Kakashi waited several moments until Sakura was back in ear-shot before saying.
"Because, dear Sasuke, I know for a fact that Sakura doesn't start her menstrual cycle until tomorrow."
In which the land of Tea heard the furious scream of Haruno Sakura for miles. And a perhaps, much louder shriek of disgusted shock from Naruto.
The Fiery blazes of Konoha gossip were sure to be stoked, and there may just be some threads of truth running through the trails of those rumors.
But that, is an entirely different story.
The end...for now.
A/N: Yet another short little one-shot, that is just begging to be turned into a two-shot...unfortunately I'm so terrible at actually finishing those two-shots...eheheh, what can I say? I'm a bit lazy I guess.
But, nonetheless, I shall try!
Of course, the response I get out of this will greatly influence the chances of that second part being uploaded. But meh, this was written at three in the morning so there's bound to be a few mistakes, and it's not my best written work by any means.
However, this one shot has been sitting in my Ideas drawer for far too long so...There she is I suppose!
Thanks for reading the mindless ramblings of an insomniac...
Sincerely, Lost in corde meo.