Recipient: idealgirl
Thanks: sequinissues, for the super beta kung fu action, even in the midst of holiday madness!
Note: AU for everything after 1x11 (Fallout). This was written over the December hiatus in season 1, before we knew exactly how Peter's powers worked.
He doesn't age. At least, not when he's with Claire and absorbing her healing powers, which is pretty much all the time now. Like her, his body has been frozen in time, his cells healing when they should be dying.
They don't know what would happen if he were away from her long enough for his body to lose her powers and start aging normally again. Best-case scenario, he might just lose a few minutes. Worst-case scenario, his body might suddenly catch up to where it's supposed to be. And since he's an 85-year-old man in the body of a 29-year-old, that would be quite a leap forward. He doubts he'd survive it. So they make sure they never stay apart for long enough to find out for sure.
He finds himself thinking a lot these days. Thinking about his life, about the family and friends he's lost over the years, about how it all began that day on the subway, when a man from the future came and changed the course of Peter Petrelli's life.
He wonders why he was chosen to lead them. He was not the strongest, or the smartest, or the bravest. Hell, he was just a dreamer before all this started, wishing there was more to his life, and that he could do something special. Be something special.
Nathan once said it was because he was the only one crazy enough to take the job. Apparently crazy runs in the family, though. It's the only way Peter can make sense of his brother's final sacrifice. He still misses him, like there's a hole inside that can never be filled. It's just like his brother, Peter thinks wryly, to make his presence felt even after he's gone.
Hiro had told him it was his destiny. Of course, according to his dreams and Isaac's paintings, he had been destined to blow up the entire city of New York, but they'd managed to keep that from happening. So Peter doesn't put a whole lot of faith in destiny anymore.
Matt had said it was because he wanted it more than anyone else, which just showed that as strong as the policeman's powers were, they never did work on Peter. If they had, he would've known how terrified Peter was of leading them, how he woke up every morning scared that this would be the day he screwed up and got them all killed. Even now, each time there's a casualty, it's Peter who sits up at night trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong, what he could've done differently. It's a burden he carries silently, and it eats away at him a little more each day.
Claire's answer is perhaps the closest to the truth. She says it's because he's their center, their soul, the one who brought them all together. A little too flowery and poetic for his tastes, but that's Claire for you. Ever since he died for her at her high school's Homecoming, she's been his biggest supporter.
She's the only one he has left now. The only one who remembers him from Before. He's surrounded by people who are young enough to be his grandchildren (though you wouldn't know it just by looking), but they look at him like he's some kind of god. Untouchable. The Leader.
Claire grounds him, reminds him of who he was before all of this. With her, he's just Peter. Some guy who jumped off a building once because he thought he could fly.
Peter hasn't flown since his brother died. Sometimes he misses that more than anything. The freedom of it, almost like falling.
But he's not just a dreamer anymore; he's a leader. And he put away such childish things long ago.