WILL UPDATE WITHIN THIS WEEK!
So, the um... The feels. I watched this a while back, cried, watched it again, and cried again. So, I feel like this should all get fixed. It must... BY THE WAY, I'm so sorry for having to involve the notorious PMC group, Alpha Providence, in a fanfic like this. I assure you, they won't be BIG in this. More like supporters. Why add them in such a social life? Well, when I'm finished with The Dead Equilibrium, then you'll know why.
...
Kazusa Touma stood on the stage in front of hundreds and hundreds of her audience giving her a warming, resounding applause for her amazing performance. As the blue haired, elegant dressed, recent-graduate girl took her bow to the applauding audience, memories swims through her mind. Memories of when she had an audience similar as this one, though less formal, at a concert of her and her friends'. One of those friends she fell in love with, though had been left behind nearly halfway around the world from her.
Finally, she exits the stage with her face buried in her hands as she took an isolated corner to herself right by the exit door. That is the area where she now sobs and drowns herself in the painful memories of Haruki Kitahara, a love that could not be. That is until the door beside her swung open, followed by a well dressed masculine figure. As she looks up to the being before quickly wiping away the stream of her tears, she found the tall figure, spiky, short-haired elder teenager glancing down at her with slight curiosity.
"Are you alright", the elder teen asks the clearly distressed Kazusa with a soothing tone.
"Y-Yeah, it's just my, um, my contacts", she quickly says, in hopes of making the guy believe her.
Not buying it, the elder teen opens his mouth to speak, though was called to the stage by the speaker.
"What a marvelous performance from the all-time famous Kazusa Touma", the announcer spoke aloud with an attentive voice. "And now, the one that will close out with yet another hopeful top-class performance to send us all farewell for the night, please welcome Satoshi Tomi!"
The elder teen exhales deeply as he looks towards the stage. "And I barely got here", he mutters. "I'll talk to you soon, Touma." He then walks towards the stage where the fresh, clean, shining piano rests in the middle of the stage. As the crowd dies down with their brief, welcoming applause, Satoshi took a seat in front of the piano and eases his eyes to a close. His hands slowly moves over a set of keys as he inhales. Then, as he exhales, he began playing a slow, somber tune. The tune was slow, it was elegant, in perfection. And sad. As Kazusa watches the elder teen play the slow, sad tune, she thought about her friends. She thought about Haruki. She clenches her fist to her chest and cringes as her tears escape her eyes once more.
Satoshi's fingers made work along the keys with accurate precision, in a timely manner and well set tone with the use of the foot pedals. Then, as the slow tune just sunk into everyone's emotions, it began to pick up gradually, slowly. Slowly, the slow, sad tune picks up to a heart-thumping, joyous tune. It plays as though it swept away the sadness in everyone's hearts and replaced it with happiness.
Kazusa was slowly swept away from the sad memories, her regrets, and was taken to the happy memories. All the laughs her friends shared, the cultural festival, the practice, the laughs, the help, all that she can see of her happy times with her two friends. All the while, Satoshi's eyes were closed. But from the distance, Kazuma can barely see a small smile play at his lips. Then, it disappears. The smile became a frown.
Just as everyone had felt the mood of the happy tune, it immediately drops to a slow tune again. Though, this time, it was played more with a mix of the low keys and the high keys to add to the melody feeling. Kazusa can feel her heart tearing open, a void taking place. It hurt. It hurt even more as she cried. Painful memories flood in once more. Her confusing feelings of Haruki. Her intercourse with Haruki. Her day of departure from the city she once rarely prospered in. When Haruki ran to her at the airport and took her in a warm, hard kiss in front of her friend, Setsuna Ogiso. Yes, the girl who was also in love with Haruki Kitahara. And when she finally took her flight. She cries and cries. She couldn't stop as Satoshi kept playing.
As Kazusa looks around to the people who had backstage access, they were all focused on Satoshi, lost in the meaningful notes of his performance. Most cried, some hid their expressions. Either way, she could tell everyone had felt that same empty feeling build up in their chest. His tune slows down. More. And more. Then, it ceases with the final high keys. His eyes finally opens.
The audience was silent for a moment as he stood, but as he took his bow, everyone snaps back to reality and bounces out of their seats, a roar of clapping hands echoes throughout the entire, large auditorium. An auditorium bigger than the size of a football field.
Satoshi Tomi exits the stage, walking towards Kazusa. She stares at him, thinking about what is going on through the other side of those empty, dark blue eyes of his. Then, he exits out the emergency exit door after brushing past her. She only stares at the closing door, the last glimpse she caught of him being his squatting down with his hands held over his face.
"Aiko", was the last, faint thing she heard escape from the prodigy's mouth with a quivering, sad tone.
Haruki was laying on his bed. He's been like that since the departure of the girl he loved, Kazusa Touma. After that day of staying out in the cold at the airport with Setsuna all the way to evening, he had isolated himself in his room for those four days. Setsuna would come by and check on him due to her worries on what he would do himself. Such an example would be like hanging a noose for himself, as she found him doing the first day she checked on him.
Haruki stares up at the ceiling with sad eyes, crisp with previous tears. He didn't let college pass by his mind since Kazusa's departure. He just cared about the memories at the moment. He cared about whatever memory he had of his lover. He cared about the fact that she took his two buttons from his jacket for whatever reason she had.
A knock was heard at Haruki's door, then the sound of his door creaking open. He didn't have to look at his doorway, for he knew Setsuna's face would be there, peeking inside at him. He just stares emptily at the ceiling.
"Haruki, I brought you some food", Setsuna says softly. "And I suggest you should take a shower. You've been there since... Just, get up for once."
Haruki slowly rose himself to sit upright, looking directly to Setsuna. His face was expressionless.
"Here's what I brought." Setsuna places a bento box at the foot of Haruki's bed. "And please take a shower. I don't want you to get sick because of it. I'm not leaving until you take one."
Haruki took the bento box slowly, though drops it out of his famine and low strength. "I-I can't eat..."
"Don't tell me you didn't drink anything either", Setsuna mutters. She pulls a water bottle from her bag and hands it to him.
"I have", Haruki answers in a soft tone. "That's all I really got up for." He drank the water as Setsuna opens the bento box and took the chopsticks. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to feed you", Setsuna answers as she held a piece of sausage to Haruki.
Haruki took the piece of offering and chews weakly. As he looks to Setsuna, he began to cry. Setsuna, too, began to cry, though she hid it. She fed Haruki again, then one more before placing the bento box aside and taking Haruki in a hug. They both cry and cry quietly to each other. Setsuna cries for Haruki and Haruki cries for his stupid decisions, his regrets, Kazusa's departure, not making Setsuna happy, everything he had done that made him like this. Though, Haruki calls for Kazusa. And each time he did, Setsuna would grip his shoulders tighter and cry more. Then, it ceases as a knock was heard at Haruki's front door.
"Hey, Haruki Kitahara", the young masculine voice calls from outside. "I need to speak with you."
Setsuna steps away from Haruki, leaving him alone to eat sadly while she cleans her face quickly. As she opens the door, she looks up at the young-looking 22 year-old man with a light beard. "He's not well right now", she answers the man. "But I'm here to relay for him."
"Right, er... This is payment. It's past due." The man hands Setsuna an envelope while scratching his dirty blonde hair. "You're good? You look... Distressed."
"It's nothing, don't worry about it", she answers lowly as she took the envelope. "Thank you."
"Right. Uh, hey, I've seen you coming by a lot. Is the kid that sick or something?"
"Yes, he is. He caught the flu."
"Well, can't blame him on this time of the year. Well, give me a call at my office if anything goes worse than it is. Tell the kid the same thing."
She glances at the young man's right hand, seeing a ring on his index finger. "Right. Hey, wait. Are you divorced?"
The man looks down at his ring, grinning a little bit as he touches the ring with his left hand. "Yeah, long story. She, um... She made my life then... Anyway, hope you kids get well with the flu problem. Remember, let me know if anything helps."
"Right, thank you", Setsuna says with a respectful bow as the man leaves. She returns to Haruki, handing him the envelope. "It's a notice for the rent of the apartment, the land owner says. Do you know him?"
"Yeah, we were kinda like friends", Haruki answers, not surprised with the notice. He had just finished up eating.
She was about to bring up the divorce thing to Haruki, but figured it would make things a bit worse. "You should catch a shower now."
Haruki exhales a sigh as he slowly stood up. "Right, right." He then goes off towards his bathroom, leaving Setsuna alone in his bedroom. Catching a strand of Kazusa's blue hair on his bed, her mind tries to process the reason before she breaks down crying silently, figuring out why he was partially undressed that morning of her departure and the show of affection at the airport. It felt like her heart was clutched and thrown down to the ground. She didn't want to believe what her mind thought.
Satoshi was at the ballroom of the complex in Rome, holding a glass of white wine while talking to a couple. He was smiling and laughing with the two, exchanging conversations before he retreated to a free spot to himself. Kazusa gave a few glances here and there between conversations she had with her mother and whoever had thought of her as interesting.
"Mother, I'm going to fetch a drink", Kazusa says to her mother, Youko Touma.
Youko Touma had similar characteristics to Kazusa Touma, though her hair is shorter look more mature. "Of course, Dear."
Kazusa left the conversation and walks towards Satoshi after grabbing a glass of red wine. "Satoshi Tomi, correct", she asks Satoshi.
Satoshi faces Kazusa with a soft smile, nodding his head gently. "Correct you are. Oh, right. What was wrong earlier? You looked sad?"
"Oh, that? I said it was my contacts." She brushes her hair behind her ear nervously.
"Ah, right. I would guess it to be an internal issue. I'll be honest, after my performance, I broke down myself."
"Then, well... Since you've shared such a thing, then yeah. I was sad."
"I don't mean to jump to private affairs, but may I ask why?"
Kazusa swirls her glass around slowly as she glances elsewhere, contemplating whether or not she should tell a man she barely knew. "It had something to do with someone I love. Someone I left behind for this."
"Is that so? And to this point, you still love him?"
Kazusa wanted to deny it. In fact, she felt like she really had to move on. Move away from the tragedy. "No, I don't."
Satoshi didn't buy it. He felt the pain in her voice. "You do. I know you do, Touma."
Kazusa wore a troublesome look, trying to look elsewhere to hide her pained expression. "My advice? Don't give up on him. Keep loving him. And if he's still breathing, chase after him with all you've got. If you let your love go, you'd be losing your access to pure happiness and love. And if he... Passed, keep living. Keep living for him and make the dreams come true that both of you wanted. If he's still walking on this earth, don't pass the opportunity. No matter what."
Just before Kazusa broke out in tears, she gave Satoshi a harsh glare as she replies, "And what about Aiko? Why aren't you helping her?"
Satoshi stares at her quietly with an empty look in his eyes, then looks out the grand window to the night outdoors. "She left me because she said she had to. Before she left, we did so many stupid things that made her departure far, far more difficult. We ended up fighting and loving as a farewell. I felt like killing myself. But before she left, she said in simple words: I'll be with you."
Kazusa was silent, for whatever that meant.
"She wanted me to keep pushing, to keep making music. And for her, I made this kind of music that fused happy memories together with terrible memories. A love-hate-depression melody feeling."
Kazusa took a hard gulp of her red wine, then chokes a bit. Satoshi steps towards her, handing her a handkerchief to use to wipe her lips and chin of spilled wine. "S-Sorry", she apologizes.
"Don't apologize, Touma. Just clean yourself. Red wine drinkers, I swear." He chuckles to himself as he took a sip of his clear, sizzling wine. "So, where is your lover?"
"He's... He's in Japan." Kazusa hands the handkerchief, but told her to keep it for keepsakes.
"Japan, huh? I know a guy there as a landowner." He snickers a bit. "Going through a storm himself, though."
"I see." So there are others in similar suffering.
"Aiko... Cheers." He hammers back a bit of wine, then exhales. "I'll be seeing you in the next concert; they're calling me about my performance." He then began stepping towards a group of elegant dressed, mature women. One of them being Kazusa's mother.
Kazusa thought about his pain. She tried to feel it, to sympathize with whatever he's feeling. But she couldn't. She couldn't feel what she felt earlier with his performance. She wanted to feel that pain again. To be reminded. To be reminded of him. Though, right now, she held two buttons in her purse, both of which was from Haruki's jacket she had taken before her leave from Japan. It was enough to bring her to a little tears as she thought about what Satoshi said.
Setsuna had returned home, cuddled up in her bed as she witnessed Haruki's end of his shower with him plopping back to bed. She stares at her wallpaper on her phone. It was the same. It was her, Kazusa, and Haruki from their school's cultural festival. It was her best, last memory at her school she had ever had. And now, it turned into this. She felt a knot build up around her heart, constricting it tightly.
"Haruki, you idiot", she murmurs to her herself against the pillow she clutched to her chest. "Idiot, idiot, idiot!" She chants that word over and over. Each time she said the word, the more she felt herself closer to crying. She stares at the wallpaper on her phone again. Though, this time, she could barely see. Instead, she can only see a blurry, bright image due to her tear-building eyes. "Baka..." Even though she calls the bright, blurry image such a thing, she can still recall all the moments she had with her group. With Haruki and Kazusa both. She could still remember the love she held for Haruki. In fact, she still carries on that pained, unneeded feeling. But... She enjoyed the feeling. To her, it was like a reminder. A reminder that she is able to love a boy through such pain, through anything. And she still is able to love Haruki. Painfully. "Haruki, baka!" She shuts her eyes closed as tears soak into her pillow. She now stares up at the ceiling, choking up on her emotions.
That moment when she witnessed Haruki charge after Kazusa, embracing her with a hug. All in a public airport, all in front of her. Then, they both embrace each other in a kiss. She still recalls how she felt. She couldn't control her tears. She couldn't control her hurting emotions, her sobbing. And when she and Haruki watches Kazusa's plane fly off, she still remained by Haruki's side. She remained at his side all the way until evening. She knew full well why: she still loved him unconditionally. "It hurts, Haruki", she whispers in a broken tone. She knew that he didn't love her back. That he loves Kazusa the most. Unconditionally. And that he may never return the feelings to Setsuna as how she feels about him. No matter how much it hurts her. "Haruki, why? Why, why, why?" She knows, yet... Her heart yearns for him.
And right now, she knew. She knew that he knew. And she knew that Kazusa knew. They all knew, or at least felt, that the love Kazusa and Haruki shared was not meant to be. No. Instead, it was a forbidden love. And all three of them were greatly affected by it. If Kazusa had let Haruki before go before actually being friends. If they were to never met... Or if Haruki never ran to the rooftop to find Setsuna... Or if Haruki never tried to climb to the piano room and get rescued by Kazusa... None of this would never of happened. Nobody would be hurting as they are now.
In fact, was it worth it? Was it worth it to make the precious memories? Was it worth it to share that powerful, but brief emotion with one another? Was it worth it to experience all they had felt despite the hurtful, heart wrenching forbidden love? Those questions are unsure to Setsuna. Instead, she sobs and hid in her pillow. She didn't want to let it get to her so deeply. Not now. Not while she still has to help the one she loves.
...
Yeah. I'm doing it. I am not letting THAT ending go by like that. I hope you all enjoyed this. Sorry about the OCs and all, but I needed something to connect Touma and Kitahara and Setsuna by some sort of means with Satoshi and the land owner. I had to, I'm sorry. But I do hope you enjoyed. It's not lengthy as I would expect it to be, but it will gradually build up chapter by chapter. Leave down a review and follow this story to stay up-to-date.
-The Red Merc