Title: What An Ass!
Author: Not An Infant
Rating: T for adult themes
Summary: MY ENTRY TO MY OWN CHALLENGE; BBC TRIANGLE. Set during the end sequence of "The Girl With The Curl," this is my take of why Cam chose to leave Booth herself without him having to say squat. Honestly? I think we need to all give Cam a break; if you met up with your ex and thought she was still bangin', wouldn't you try again? No? Ahem. Then it's only me. (my ass.)
Anyway, enjoy the story.
The day is done. The case is closed. I'm drained and tired and content. My plans are to go home and fall asleep at the couch while watching TV and eating Ice Cream. I'm aware that I will forever cringe the next time I watch a "Miss America" show or a TV beauty pageant, so I smile at the idea of comfortable sheets I will wrap around me and the hilarious re-runs of "I Love Lucy" waiting for me at home. I can see it now; my hair all messy and free, my silk pajamas with the big hearts, the enormous carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in my favorite flavors: chocolate, vanilla, cookies n cream, mint chip, and coffee. Oh, my god, the coffee.
Oh, what a happy life a single woman like me can live—
Then I remember someone who is most likely to come home with me, and a weight sags on my diaphragm. That's right; I'm not single.
It's become something like a third circle of hell with this man as the weeks go by. Sex, dinner, work, sex dinner, work. I don't know what I expected when I first got into bed with Booth, but if I knew for certain it would belike this, I would have jumped out of bed and ran out naked into the streets, screaming. Maybe if we hadn't broken up years ago, things would still be the same, but what we are doing now is a sin; it's unacceptable to my moral. We have sex and we flirt and eat out occasionally, but that's all we do. We don't voice our feelings towards each other, in public or in private. When we "discuss" whatever the hell is it we're doing, it's a simple phrase: "Sleeping together." It leaves out so much space for what is in the bedroom; love, casual attraction, dating, relationship (ooh, that's a big one)…but even though he may never say the truth, I know why we only say, "sleeping together." Because that's all we're doing. Physically reliving the mess we once had, thinking it'll be enough to keep us afloat, content…whatever.
It's not enough for me anymore. I want something meaningful and satisfying and 100% percent solid, and I want to have it with someone new, someone with whom I have never been with before. Don't get me wrong, the physical part is great, but it's tainted by the absence of emotional passion. I've moved on from him romantically, and the sex can't keep me in the bed anymore. I can't keep doing something that I know is delaying the inevitable destiny awaiting him. In other words, I know who he needs to be with, and it is isn't me.
Snapping back to reality, I reluctantly look back to see him on the second platform. He's sitting at the table with Dr. Brennan and wow, if Angela were here she'd say that the way his skin and her hair visually compliment each other. His adorable chocolate eyes are shimmering with a glow I have never seen before.
What? Just because I don't like him like that anymore does NOT mean that I can't check him out.
What an ass. Right in front of the answer all that time and he's too blind to see it.
Of course, in a all fairness, I'm the one that is blinding him, aren't I?
He spots me standing with my briefcase in hand, trying to look like I care whether he's coming or not. The spark in his eye is replaced with equal reluctance, and I know I should be offended and hurt at how much he's showing it, but I don't want to be the only one who's annoyed with this "relationship," so I feign (facially) like I don't know what he's thinking about. He makes to get up from the chair- God, No! I Want my Friday night!—before Dr. Brennan apparently says something to him.
Yes! Perfect escape route.
I walk towards the exit slowly, checking his expression. Poor bastard. He's torn.
I lean on the side of the exit door, watching his torn eyes stare at me, and he may not know it now, but he's sending me a message that I want to hear so badly:
Cam…I want to be free.
Me, too, Seeley. Me, too.
I smile, nod my head, and walk out of the institute. I don't look back to see what I already know is happening; Booth sitting back down, unknowingly brightening at the prospect of spending the night with Brennan, planning to order their mutual favorite cuisine, whatever it is. For now, I see it all happening in slow motion. Come tomorrow morning, I'm going to receive a call from Booth apologizing for blowing off our date (sure) and he's going to reschedule. And I'll consent because I know that the only thing he knows how to do in these situations, and then I'll smile falsely and say okay, because I know I won't have to deal with this bullshit for much longer. Then we'll hang up and we'll meet at work and we'll do the same thing all over again, because that's all we know how to do when we worry about the other's feelings if we don't. But by the end of the month it'll be too sour to carry on without words, and I'll start to push him in the right direction, because it's the only thing I can do to help him discreetly.
And maybe he won't know it now, but he's given me the key to shackles holing our sorry asses together. So I'll wait until it catches up with him. I'll be patient. After all, the only right time to say goodbye is when both of us are ready to say it. He'll be ready. Soon, I hope.
Tonight I am more concerned with the solitary girl's night in I'm treating myself to at home.
The day is done. The case is closed. Tomorrow will bring me more. Tonight will bring me peace.
A/N: I like Cam. A lot. End of story. I'm willing to respect EVERYBODY'S opinion of her; truth be told, I hated the air she burped during the second season. But people change. And since I watched the kickoff to the fifth season, I think we don't have to worry about her anymore.
BTW, did you notice that the phrase, "what an ass," I picked up from the Bones Gag Reel? How many of you looked it up? I die laughing every time. R&R please.