Frank Longbottom kept his head down at work and got buried in paperwork that led him to nowhere. He did this on purpose. Any end could be a proper dead end if a man took care to cover his tracks. Had he done something wrong last Friday afternoon? No, not really. Well, he couldn't remember, and his wife hadn't spoken to him for the entire weekend. So, yes, chances were he'd done something really, really stupid.
Other than messing up, and messing up royally, he could not recall what he had done to earn this silent treatment. He wanted to know why. Frank needn't fix the problem. Well, he did, but Frank would get to this after Alice broke down and said it. At thirteen hundred sharp, Frank marked his spot in his tedious encyclopedic reading material and decided it was high time Alice got to the point.
He cornered her in her cubicle. While he wore wrinkled clothes and looked like hell, she'd bothered with pinning up her blonde hair and pretending like a mandatory sixty-hour work week wasn't killing her after six months. She sat clear across Auror Headquarters, so Frank had plenty of time to pull out of a decision as this would mostly likely land him on the couch.
"What're you doing?" Frank leaned over the cubicle wall.
"Trying to figure out the best way to lie to Rufus Scrimgeour without actually lying to him," said Alice, scratching stuff out with a quill.
Frank laughed quietly, admiring how this woman played the game. Alice always colored within the lines, though she made the picture her own. He scratched his chin. "So, you're aiming to lie without getting caught?"
"Not a lie if you if you don't get caught, is it?" Alice set her messy draft next to two identical documents; Frank guessed one of these was a forgery. Frank edged into the work station and checked out her flawless work. A Copying Charm, the Germinio Charm, didn't always cut it.
"You sound like Mad-Eye," he said softly, resting his hand on her shoulder. As this might actually pass as an actual conversation, he treaded carefully. What good would it be if he covered up something stupid by saying something stupid? After fifteen years of marriage and seventeen years of being with this woman, he'd learned all sorts of things.
Alice concentrated on her final touches and cast a Waterproof Shield on her forged document. The right one. She tested it by pouring a cup of tea over it. Frank, taken aback by this at first, had moved his hand to stop her, but he caught on because Alice always double checked her work and covered her tracks. Frank, a senior Auror, a Major, often forgot this step, and he siphoned the liquid off with a casual flick of his wand.
He separated the fake document from the original one. "That's skill. You're dangerous."
Alice gave him a small smile and slipped the original back into a folder. She tapped it with wand and it disappeared. She stood up, and he stole her swivel chair; Frank kicked away from the desk and spun in circles. He usually made himself home in other peoples' work stations because he rarely stayed at Auror Headquarters. He missed work as a field agent, too.
"Oh, Francis, how you underestimate me," she said, kicking off her flats and exchanging these for some black heels. Apart from his mother, Alice was the only other person allowed to address him by his given name. She pulled open a cupboard and placed her shoes in here. She checked her watch, cursing as she chucked her Styrofoam cup in the wastebasket, and dashed out of the cubicle. "Are you coming?"
"Yeah, actually I was gonna to grab a bite." Rolling his eyes, Frank Summoned his sorry brown bag lunch and picked up the pace. When they reached the Annex, the research and training station, Alice placed her wand on the brass scales. They rattled and denied her access. Frank raised his eyebrows. "What's that mean?"
Alice cursed, pacing in a small circle. A few minutes later, the barrier opened, and Mad-Eye stood there glaring at them. Tapping his new prototype wooden prosthetic impatiently, he tapped the face of his own watch. He fixed his beady eyes on Alice.
"What's the difference between thirteen hundred and thirteen hundred, eleven?" The Aurors lived by international time. The Muggles knew this by military time.
"Eleven minutes?" Alice shrugged. She gave no excuse because it did no good, especially with Mad-Eye. She relied of haggling. "I'm a fool? I'll do your reports all week? It's Monday, so this frees your timetable. And by all week, what I really meant was two weeks."
Alice bit her lip, waiting. When Mad-Eye shrugged his shoulders and stepped aside, leaning heavily on the new foot, she smiled nervously.
"So, this never happened? We're good?" Alice knew she toed the line, so she and Frank followed him inside. The invisible barrier to the Annex sealed itself.
"You. Get up here." Mad-Eye shoved her forwards. A candidate, a recruit, held a black box with medals and ornaments. Frank couldn't see the trinkets, yet he'd been through this ritual over and over because he'd climbed through the ranks. He hadn't known Alice was up for promotion.
"Ma'am." The candidate, a first year recruit, bowed to Alice. Alice was the only woman among the ranks in the last seven years, and she stood as an equal to any man.
Alice nodded, standing up straighter. Her arms fell to her sides. Mad-Eye made the pomp and circumstance sound like "blah, blah, blah", and although Frank noticed he cut it short, he wasn't sure anyone else did. This was an officer's moment to shine. The head of the Auror Department, Robards, stood up to do the honors, but Mad-Eye waved him down and added the medals and ribbons to Alice's already impressive collection.
"They ought to do this differently for a female officer," suggested Alice, making the candidate smile.
"Woman, I will stab you with this pin," growled Mad-Eye. Alice shut up. He turned her towards her peers, wrapping up the ribbons ceremony. "Lieutenant Alice Colleen Longbottom."
He let her go. Frank realized why she couldn't get into the Annex. Technically, whenever an officer changed ranks, he or she temporarily held no position. The cool female voice securing the Annex reeled off an officer's rank. Mad-Eye and Alice saluted each other. Careful not to step on anyone's toes, she strode over and saluted Robards, too, for some senior officers got touchy over the tiniest gestures. Frank bet his lunch Robards was one of these people.
Frank dug into his lunch the moment Alice and Mad-Eye followed him outside the Annex and back the other way.
"A Major and a Lieutenant," said Mad-Eye, grimacing. This sometimes passed for a smile.
He clapped a hand on Alice's shoulder and complained about the leg. Without waiting to go through the usual spiel of Mad-Eye saying he didn't need nor want any help, Frank skipped to the end and knelt to fix the problem. As with any new prosthetic, it took time to get used to a new limb, and although Mad-Eye insisted he knew this, he was about as stubborn as they came, and he didn't really listen to the Healers. Months ago, his leg had been cursed off during a pursuit on foot in Glasgow.
"You can't run," said Frank, pointing this out for the umpteenth time. He'd get the actual limb in due time; Mad-Eye needed to pace himself.
"I know that," he said.
"Well, since you know so much, sir, I insist you follow orders if you don't want this thing to get infected again." Frank unstrapped the prosthetic and showed no surprise of the infection underneath. There was blood snd pus in the wound; Mad-Eye hopped over to Frank's desk and collapsed in his chair. "Alice, can you get me the wound kit?"
Alice had dashed out of the heavy doors.
"Never mind, love, I've got it," muttered Frank, a little annoyed with her.
There weren't many people, especially officers, willing to give Mad-Eye Moody a hand because he had a well-deserved reputation of being an ass. He took out his handkerchief and pressed it to Mad-Eye's wound. After gathering his supplies, Frank warned him this might burn. There was no question; this would burn like hell. After Frank stepped away to wash his hands and pulled on some latex gloves, he set down kitchen towel to cover the floor and poured hydrogen peroxide over the infected mess; brown streaks leaked out.
"I'm not your matron," said Frank. He packed the wound with quick fingers and cleared up his mess with a wave of his wand. The wastebasket swallowed it. These meetings were becoming too familiar. Nonetheless, Frank attached the leg and gave Mad-Eye a vial of Ambrosial Antibiotics he kept in his secret stash. "You need to start taking care of yourself."
If Frank had told Mad-Eye to head to St. Mungo to get some more antibiotics, he knew it would fall to deaf ears, so he didn't bother. Unless Mad-Eye took all the dosages, he wouldn't truly clear away the nastiness. As he stepped away to make tea, Frank took it upon himself to harp on this man about his healing habits. He'd lost his appetite and chucked his lunch in the wastebasket.
"Here." He handed Mad-Eye one of the chipped teacups. "You're an idiot."
"I'm a Brigadier, Major, so mind your tone." Mad-Eye, who had received promotions faster than Frank, and was older than him, pulled rank on him. Frank shrugged this off, for Mad-Eye barked a lot. "You're an idiot."
"You're welcome?" Frank raised his eyebrows.
"Well, at least Alice officially comes into her retirement today," said Mad-Eye, sitting back in the chair and sipping his tea. He let go of his anger and relaxed a little. Aurors earned retirement after fifteen years of loyal service. "That ought to make things more comfortable, eh? And the bonus."
"Why?" Frank frowned at him. Alice had always struggled with her diets; she had an off-on relationship with those things, and Frank doubted whether she'd make it through annual physicals this year. They came round in mid-March, and this was mere weeks away. "What's your diet?"
"Oh, she can't do that," said Mad-Eye.
Frank didn't get it. Mad-Eye had insisted Alice Longbottom matched any male officer, yet he protected her at the strangest times. Frank pressed him, "Mad-Eye, this is Alice. We always fly through physicals, and she can take it. Alice is Alice."
"I refer you back to the idiotic statement," said Mad-Eye, passing a gnarled hand over his scarred face. Mad-Eye acted like he waited for something to set in, though Frank felt like he missed a punchline to some joke. "You really don't know?"
Frank tired of the ambiguous answers. "Know what?"
Mad-Eye muttered about undercover assignments. "I suppose this means we'll have to make changes to the schedule because you'd rather act as her husband. I pass that on to Greg Robards because his son wasn't a good match, anyway."
Alice came back with a half-eaten sandwich in her hand. "What're we talking about?"
"Reassignment." Mad-Eye finished his tea and waved her inside. It was a tight fit with three people in a work station. Alice, completely at her ease, went back to her sandwich. "She's pregnant, fool."
Frank spilled his tea down his front. He caught the teacup before it shattered. Alice stood there licking mayonnaise off her finger. They'd tried for years, and Healer after Healer had insisted the chances of them having children were damn near impossible. It simply wasn't in the cards. They'd tried experimental fertility treatments; one of these had temporarily ruined her eyesight. Alice didn't cry nor get weepy, which is why Frank liked her, and she buried secrets. After the eyesight side effect fiasco, they'd stopped altogether.
Frank, shocked, found his voice. "How?"
Mad-Eye, shaking his head, left them alone. "Gene pool, Alice."
"We have sex all the time, Frank," she said, lowering her voice and taking the chair.
"Yeah, I know. I know how these things happen." Frank looked her up and down, and he saw it in her figure. How had he missed this? "But how?"
"Don't ask me. The Healer suggested we go with it and stop worrying." Alice shrugged. "Do you have any crisps in your secret stash?"
"No. I'm prepping for physicals," he said. Alice raised her eyebrows, so he caved and found a bag in the third cupboard. She caught them, smiling. "You need to tell Robards to take you out of his rounds next month."
"Oh, that's right. Mad-Eye?" Alice didn't bother with turning her head because Mad-Eye was the next cubicle over. He grunted in response. "I get a get out of jail free card for this?"
"Filed the request back in January," said Mad-Eye.
"Good deal," said Alice, opening the crisps bag.
Whatever people said about Mad-Eye, and people said a lot about Mad-Eye, he took care of his people. He protected those he cared about on his team. Alice, formerly Alice Mercer, had stayed on his team since day one. He'd handpicked her as his lady when she'd come in as a candidate. Frank was two years above her. Usually the deck got shuffled every so often, and Aurors got assigned to other teams. Frank had had a lot of leaders in his time, and he planned to serve until they kicked him out. As long as he kept on the right path, he planned on putting in a good thirty years.
Alice hung out in Frank's cubicle for pretty much the rest of the afternoon. She went and grabbed files here and there, but she hid out with him. Whilst they were married and made no secret of it, they worked really well on their own separate projects, and they didn't often work together. When the day wound down, Mad-Eye followed them into the Atrium.
Mad-Eye handed him a file discreetly. "Get you're significant other over there to fill you in, sir, for you are now Mr. Ezekiel Todd."
Mildly interested, Frank flipped through the detailed file. It had been a good while since he'd taken on an assignment because he ran his own team of twelve officers, and he missed being in the field. He saw the problem right away. It stared him right in the face; any man with common sense would readily see this. Polyjuice Potion wasn't the usual thing taken on these lengthy assignments. These could go on indefinitely. How was this a seamless transfer? Frank, a thin man with dark hair, was clearly not pudgy faced, fair-haired Mr. Gawain Robards. People who had met the fictional Todds would think twice about this.
Frank didn't like holes in his story.
"Well, the good news here is our Mrs. Todd here is also pregnant," said Mad-Eye.
Handing this off flawlessly like it was done all the time, he delegated well. This, among other things, proved an invaluable strength for Mad-Eye. Alice, Frank knew, had played Mrs. Todd since last November. They stepped through the fireplace and ended up in a shabby pub. It wasn't the Leaky Cauldron, Frank noticed, though he questioned nothing. There was power in keeping your mouth shut whilst getting orders. Mad-Eye taught him this ages ago; it saved against tedious interruptions.
Mad-Eye offered Frank his hand. "Welcome back into the field."
"Yes, sir. Today's a good day," said Frank, shaking it firmly.
He enjoyed the senior officer role, for it had turned out Frank was a natural leader and quite good at this managing lark, yet it bored him to death. They'd arrived at this place for a Order meeting; they jumped locations often and never got the exact place until the day before. Frank usually got escorted by Mad-Eye.
"Who're you?" Frank draped his arm over Alice's shoulder. He waved at James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Not everyone attended all the meetings; it would be an obvious red flag.
"Maggie Rose Todd," she said.
"Nice. So, is this baby mine?" Frank was joking, but she took this literally and rushed over to the large table where Mad-Eye sat next to Lily. She knelt, and he bent his ear.
"Fools!" Mad-Eye beckoned to Frank with his gnarled finger. Frank sauntered over, ready to get told off by the boss. "Maggie is no whore. Straight and narrow."
"Say what?" asked James, picking up on this conversation at an odd angle.
"Nothing," said Frank and Alice together. Frank chose to stand because they were obviously going to run out of chairs, and he'd been sitting day. "Not a whore."
"Alice," said Mad-Eye.
"No, I'm good." Alice had been preparing for this role for months, and Frank gathered the project hadn't quite gotten off the ground because there weren't any worries voiced about Gawain Robards. "What've we got, Albus?"
"Nothing much. I wanted to touch base because I do this at staff meetings, and it seems to help." Professor Dumbledore sounded like he was rushed for time. He sat down and handed Mad-Eye a parcel. "Find out if that's a forgery, would you?"
"Oh, look, Alice, another task," said Mad-Eye, taking it from Dumbledore and handing it over without so much as a glance. Lily laughed. On second thought, he addressed Dumbledore. "She's better at that stuff. You want quick answers?"
"You find your Alice," said Alice, finishing a common catch phrase from the office. Alice loved this game. When Mad-Eye sighed, she added, "Oh, we weren't going thar far, were we? Sorry. I can get back to you by Wednesday night, Professor."
"Perfectly fine," said Professor Dumbledore, smiling at her. "What do you need from me?"
"That's an open question, lads." Mad-Eye spoke after an awkward silence followed this.
"Or ladies," added Lily.
Alice, who worked with a department as the sole female officer, did not bat an eye when there was no distinction. She understood Mad-Eye's clarification, though Frank bet she'd rag him about it later. She reached over and shook Lily's hand with both of hers. The younger crowd said nothing. Alice gave them a full two minutes before her hand shot straight up in the air.
Professor Dumbledore turned towards her politely. "Yes?"'
"First off, why is there no food at this table? We're at a pub, people, let's act like it. This is nonsense." Alice waved over a server and placed an order. She'd always been a foodie at heart, and this had little to do with the pregnancy. There was nothing on the table but beer bottles and wine glasses. After the server left, she said, "Secondly, where are Remus and Sirius?"
"Sirius," said Frank, who knew what this was about for Alice had gone off about this last night. Frank spotted him at the bar chatting up the barmaid. Frank ordered a couple fizzy drinks and led Sirius back to the table. After depositing him into a chair, Frank gestured at Alice to continue. "You were saying?"
"Remus isn't here? Right. People. I am not your damn keeper." Alice clapped her hands together, making it clear she was only going to say this once. "I understand you lot are new to the game, and you're learning the ropes, but you ..."
"James and his gang." Frank had no problem making this painfully obvious, especially since James sat there making paper figurines. James glared at him.
"Whoever. If we hand you an assignment, you damn well better follow it to the letter. No questions asked. Whether it comes from Professor Dumbledore, Mad-Eye, Frank, or me."
"So, you've got to be an Auror to have any power here," said Sirius savagely. He took this as a change. "Lovely."
"Shut up. What idiot abandons his post in the middle of the night? That was you." Alice thanked the server as he set down the order, though she was short with him, too. Sirius, hot-headed, claimed he did no such thing. Alice, not playing any games here, crossed her arms and adopted a deeper tone. "Sirius. Come on."
"I didn't do anything!" Sirius, instantly angry, jumped to his feet. He turned to Peter, desperate for an alibi. "You sent me an owl saying you needed me. I went."
Peter helped himself to the fish and chips. "I panicked."
"You overacted because you're acting like new recruits," said Frank.
"Not Aurors," said James. "You forget that."
Frank cleared this up. "I didn't forget anything, Mr. Potter."
"This isn't a game. How many times do I have to tell you this?" Alice took a deep breath, losing her temper with these young men fast. "If you had abandoned your post at the Ministry for whatever reason ..."
Sirius cut her off. "I didn't..."
"For whatever reason! You don't interrupt me, Mr. Black, thank you." Alice raised her voice threateningly, and Frank quieted her when he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Her face reddened. Mad-Eye remained as silent as the grave. Frank hadn't expected him to intervene, and these were basic tactics they'd visited time and time again. When Sirius insulted her, Alice shook her head, not letting him get underneath her skin. "A hierarchy exists for a reason, Sirius, because people ... they are dying. Benji almost did. This ... this isn't just about you anymore. You're playing a high stakes game here without understanding the rules. That's stupidity."
"You're annoying," said Sirius, turning to leave. "I'm not stupid. Come on, Peter."
"Nobody said ..." Alice faltered. Both boys turned to leave the pub. When she turned towards Frank, he was startled to see tears swimming in her eyes. She cleared her throat, gathering herself and trying to control her voice. "This? You're acting like a schoolboy. I saved your life."
"Whatever. You're a bitch." Sirius got his rucksack off the floor.
Maybe it had something to do with his growling stomach, but this irked Frank way more than it should have. Nobody insulted his wife. He reached out with his other hand and grabbed Sirius by the collar. "Say that again."
"Frank," said Alice, taking his threat as an empty one. She turned towards the table. "James, sit down. That's my husband you're pointing your wand at. Not a bright move."
When Frank turned around again, Lily forced James's warm arm down. "No kidding. Have you lost your mind?"
Professor Dumbledore, though Frank thought he would, did not intervene. Peter left. Mad-Eye, the unofficial second in command, took control. "If he curses you, James, I will not save you. Sirius. You follow the chain of command. End of story."
Sirius stood his ground. "That's not fair."
"That's tough," growled Mad-Eye unsympathetically.
"Sirius, I set the Order up this way for a reason," said Dumbledore with an air of finality. He pointed at Frank and Alice when Sirius walked around and slouched; he spun it around backwards before sitting down. "These people save lives. Alice and Frank are running on very little sleep, and they work demanding careers whilst protecting us. You have no idea of the accidents they have prevented. Alice fought herself out of a duel to keep three Death Eaters off you and Peter last night. They don't have lives."
"Sirius, it's exciting and adventurous, I know. You're smart. Be street smart. Because if one of you dies ... that's on me." Alice sounded kinder and wiped her face. She reached out and took Sirius's hand, and Frank was surprised the young man didn't pull away. No matter the hour, Frank and Alice covered these boys and Lily. They were in their early twenties, yet being three or four years past the age of majority didn't make them adults. The law labelled them so. "I'm tired, okay? Tell someone...not me because I'm a bitch. But tell someone when you decide to make another move. Caradoc disappeared because he fell through the cracks."
"Drop this Marauder stuff," said Frank, hoping he put this is terms they understood. He hoped he didn't sound unkind. Nodding at James, for it appeared they were in the same boat as expectant fathers, he made his rational plea towards the ringleader of the gang. James needed to grow up because time was running out. Frank gestured at the group as a whole. "We, the Order of Phoenix, we are now your brotherhood. You don't abandon thy brothers ... nor thy sisters. Recognize."
Lily nodded curtly, satisfied she didn't have to play the gender card here, sat back. "Remus learned this lesson already. The time for childhood games and jokes has passed. Grow the hell up, gentlemen."
"Thanks, Lily," said Frank.
Lily gave him a thumbs-up, cool and confident. "No problem. I've got this."
"Well done, miss," said Mad-Eye.
He didn't act as though he wanted to at first, but he returned her smile and her thumbs-up. Lily laughed along with everyone else. Mad-Eye adjourned the meeting shortly after this, for he sounded beat, too. Dumbledore asked his old friend for a private word.
"Ready to go home, Maggie?" asked Frank.
Frank switched to his assigned role. Alice said yes after she put stuff in a carryout box. This hadn't been so much an Order meeting as an intervention or a wake up call. Frank slipped off his traveling cloak and draped it over her shoulders because it had started raining, and he magicked an umbrella out of thin air when they stepped outside. Alice had forgotten her traveling cloak at work.
"One moment, Lily," said Frank. He handed Alice the umbrella and stepped out into the cold rain. Sirius, James, and Lily had gotten out first, and although Sirius and James pretended he wasn't there, Frank bent her ear. As he was a Longbottom, Frank was so financially secure it was ridiculous. "If you or James need anything, anything at all, come find me."
Lily smiled at Alice. "You figured out she's not just getting fat?"
Alice burst out laughing. Lily took this as a definite yes.
"I'm stupid? Will that suffice?" Frank realized he bargained with two women here. What could he do? Frank had no problem calling himself an idiot as long as he deserved it. Self-depreciation saved him.
Lily let him off the hook, hugging him. Her yellow umbrella shifted in her hand. "James isn't much of an idiot, either. But thank you."
"That goes for that woman standing over there, too." Frank pointed his thumb at Alice. He kissed Lily on the cheek and wished her goodnight. Lily went back to her boys, and Frank helped Alice with the carryout container. "You haven't any doubts about me being a father?"
"Nope. We're good." Alice shifted the large red handbag on her shoulder. They waited for the older men. Dumbledore and Mad-Eye came out laughing, and Frank wondered if they shared a private joke.
"Ezekiel and Maggie," said Mad-Eye, nodding to them. This was his version of good night. Dumbledore actually bothered with saying farewell. They walked off together. Frank and Alice, not long for this world, for they were both dead on their feet, followed in their wake.
Playing a married couple was actually difficult when you were already married to your significant other. Frank found this out really quickly. They didn't have to shed their closeness, but Frank and Alice could no longer be Frank and Alice. He lived for the small things.
If the Death Eaters knew all of their quirks, they would basically be themselves masquerading in finer clothes. This would kill them. Alice, left-handed, had trained herself to be ambidextrous, for in her mind, Maggie's dominant hand was the right one. She'd used a Color Changing Charm to change her hair to rich, brunette locks.
After work, they changed into these people and left their true selves behind. They changed house, which was a headache in itself, yet they weren't strapped with two mortgage payments. The Ministry paid for everything. In late May, Frank returned to this house to find the second bedroom transformed into a nursery. Alice, who came home early more because Mad-Eye insisted the neighbors needed to see her out and about, showed him the lacy bassinet.
The walls were pink. When he got home, she whispered seductively in his ear, and before he knew his next move, they made love on the nursery floor.
Alice laughed when Frank asked what was for dinner.
"Was that Maggie or you?" Frank zipped his trousers and buttoned his shirt. They masqueraded as Muggles. "I'm good either way. No complaints."
Alice rolled her eyes and laid on the thick comforter.
"So, are you shooting for subtlety here, or does this mean we're having a girl?" Frank nodded when Alice said she had nothing to do with decorating this place. She didn't want to know the gender. "Ah, well, that's a potential problem."
"Why?" Alice searched for her clothes and got dressed. As she got bigger, it was more comfortable to don Muggle clothes.
"What happens if Maggie's and Zeek's daughter comes out sporting an extra appendage?" Frank raised his eyebrows when Alice's round face fell in a comical expression. He helped her to her feet. "Uh huh. Suddenly Betsy's not Betsy."
"Betsy? That's awful." Alice frowned at him and watched him make pre-packaged macaroni cheese. Frank showed her the two wrapped parcels and admitted he was lost. He understood the pasta part, though the other white parcel threw him for a loop. "It's powdered cheese. You mix it in."
Frank shrugged and handed her the stuff.
"You read the box, Zeek," she said, adding the powdered processed cheese in with a touch of milk. She served up pork chops, canned corn, and macaroni cheese. After Lily had explained the mystery of the can opener, Alice had become rather adept with using the Muggle contraption. They sat at the small dining room table. "You think they're watching us?"
"What? In the nursery?" Frank frowned, for it hadn't crossed his mind. Bugging was a Muggle tactic, not a magical one. He sounded unsure. "No? I hope not."
Alice tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"Someone needs to stop spending time with Alastor Moody." Since she'd planted the idea in his head, Frank got stuck, and the previous scene played through his mind. Alice, amused, watched the shock wash over his face. He lost his appetite. "Wait. When did this occur to you?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Alice waited for him to pick up his fork again.
"Don't tease me, Maggie, I don't like it." Frank got to invent Zeek from scratch, which he liked, and Alice got to do the same with her cover. He started eating again. It was nice of the Auror Office to give them complete freedom. He thought of another puzzle. "Does this mean we have to come up with two names?"
"For?" Alice got the point when Frank waved at her with his fork. She rested her hand briefly on her belly. "Oh, I didn't think of that. You think so?"
"I don't see this lifting before the end of summer, do you?" The process moved slowly as they tracked the movements of Augustus Rookwood. Alice shook her head. If they sped things up, they risked exposing themselves and blowing the entire operation. "So, what're we calling her? The crazy cat lady across the street wants to throw you a baby shower."
"No. That's mental." Alice asked for seconds. Frank got up to get her some, and they went back to discussing names. "Charlotte."
"Lottie Longbottom?" Frank played Devil's advocate and tossed this back in her face. Alice scratched this out on a nearby notepad. Frank gave it a go. "Regina."
"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Besides the crazy cat knows us as Todd. Charlotte Todd works." Alice jotted it down and promptly crossed it out. "I'm still thinking. You go."
Frank racked his brains and snapped his fingers. "Joshua."
"Joshua," said Alice approvingly, saying the name aloud and consulting their long list. This thing had been drafted over days. The way this went, if he mentioned a boy's name, she matched him with another one. She said nothing for minutes. Frank, thinking they were done with the game for the day, started doing the dishes by hand. He didn't catch it the first time. "Neville Joshua."
"What? No." Frank dipped his hands into the soapy water. When she said nothing, he turned and saw pure content on her face. "Alice! Alice, no. Neville? A kid called Neville gets beat up and picked on."
"Shut up, Francis," she said, still smiling.
"Yeah! You know my name? Francis Dominic? I learned to run fast. So many jokes. Not funny jokes." Frank finished cleaning the kitchen and cursed his mother for branding him with this atrocity. "Seriously? Alice."
It wasn't happening. There was no way in hell Frank was calling his child Neville Longbottom.