written for pillarpairweeks on tumblr

Ryoma didn't so much as blink as the magazine was thrust in front of him.

"I'm trying to eat," he said and Nanjiroh scowled at him.

"A young man like you should be thankful that I'm showing you my beautiful collection. Look, this one's even playing tennis."

He flipped the page to where a bikini clad woman was holding a tennis racquet.

"Her grip's wrong," Ryoma said flatly.

"Maybe you could teach her the correct grip," Nanjiroh said lecherously, waggling his eyebrows.

Ryoma made a noise of disgust and pushed himself up from the table. "I'm going out! " He called to Rinko.

It was only once he was out the house and halfway down the street that he realised he'd neglected to grab his tennis stuff.

He couldn't go back now, his dad would be insufferable and he doubted he could sneak in.

So that took tennis out of the equation. He scowled, he's wanted to hit a ball against a wall until his annoyance and frustration went away.

He really needed to talk to someone about this. Momo wouldn't get it and neither would most of his friends. Fuji might, but discussing his intimate thoughts with Fuji made him shiver.

That left Tezuka. His boyfriend and really the person he should be talking to.

But it was hard, He liked Tezuka a lot, but they'd never talked about sexuality before. They hadn't even talked about sex!

His feet were treading the route to Tezuka's house though and Tezuka's house was always quiet and his bed comfy and really nice to nap on -not to mention Tezuka was there. Tezuka and his warm silence and hot lips.

Tezuka's dad answered the door, smiling when he saw him. "Good morning,Echizen. Here to drag Kunimitsu off to play tennis?" he asked good naturedly.

"Not today," Ryoma replied. "Is he free to hang out?"

"I think he's just finishing his homework. You're more than welcome to go up and see him."

Ryoma liked Tezuka's dad, he was so much less annoying than his own.

Tezuak greeted him with a soft smile, one that made Ryoma's heart swell.

"Dad was being annoying," Ryoma explained, "and I forgot my tennis stuff."

"I'm second best to tennis once again?" Tezuka asked, but hewas joking. Tezuka understood.

"'Fraid so," Ryoa replied, "I'd've invited you though."

"Thank you," Tezuka said, turning back to his homework.

Ryoma flopped onto Tezuka's bed and grabbed the book from the bedside table.

"Don't tell me what happens next," Tezuka said as Ryoma flicked through to where his bookmark was.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Ryoma said, grinning to himself.

They fell into their usual silence, it was comfortable and all encompassing.

"Dad showed one of his dirty magazines in front of me this morning," Ryoma said sometime later. Tezuka didn't reply, but the lack of the sound of his pen scratching againt paper indicated he was listening. "I didn't feel anything."

"Were you expecting to?"

Ryoma shrugged and let the conversation drop. He'd never felt anything when his dad had made him look at scantily clad women -even when they had tennis racquets. When he as a kid he'd found them funny, but now they were just an annoyance.

And then he'd met Tezuka and over time had started to feel all the things he was supposed to feel for ladies in underwear posing suggestively.

Ryoma had tried to watch some of his father's porn to test out his new feelings for Tezuka and had had to stop half way through because it was just so boring! So, he'd searched out some gay porn. And that had been an experience. He'd never really thought about gay sex, hadn't really known the mechanics of it ll. But beyond leaning those, he hadn't felt a lot. It had been interesting and the two guys had been pretty good looking, but it was just so hollow.

He'd heard about people becoming addicted to porn and he really couldn't understand. Why didn;t they just play tennis?

But that was getting away from the point. The only person he'd thought of doing anything like sex with was Tezuka. Only Tezuka.

He wondered how Tezuka would react to that. He supposed Tezuka would be happy, there weren't many would would react negatively to being told that. But it wasn't normal, was it?

"Is being normal important?" Ryoma asked aloud to no one in particular.

"For some it is," Tezuka replied, wondering what was going on in Ryoma's head.

"Would you care if I wasn't normal?"

"No."

That was good enough for Ryoma.