**DISCLAIMER** I don't own Fairy Tail or the characters. Mashima does. **DISCLAIMER**
Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you all enjoy this one shot!
"Natsu…" The word escaped her lips in a shaky whisper. She shivered as his hands slipped under her skirt, removing the last barrier to her most private area. Those hands, so warm, yet so gentle. Nothing like the rough, destructive force that annihilated buildings and landscape while they were out on jobs.
Her eye twitched as he charged Gildarts again asking for a fight they all knew he'd never win. She couldn't believe his tenacity! If the blow he received from Gildarts weren't punishment enough, she might even punish him herself.
Yet, for what felt like the first time in a long time she felt a real smile tugging at her lips. Sure, it was ridiculous, but his antics were somewhat comical. Who else could you count on to continually challenge people who hopelessly outclassed him in a fight? It was unreal! And yet… Somehow he made her want to throw aside the pain of the past. To believe that the future could still be bright.
She hadn't found her happiness yet. Maybe in the future it would come to her, like a roaring fire in the midst of her darkness. But for now it was only a spark.
She shivered again under his ministrations, now against her bare skin. His fingers felt like silk running across her skin. His lips caressing her and sending thrills of pleasure through every part of her body. She placed her hands on his head, pushing, encouraging him to go down. To take care of the aching that was building in her core.
Something deep inside her wrenched as she saw him crying at her grave. She didn't mean for this to happen. She did this for his happiness! She never imagined it would turn out hurting him so much. He was even worse than when Lisanna died!
Suddenly she regretted her choice to sacrifice her life more than anything in her entire life. The others were grieving, but he… he was distraught. He couldn't accept it. She couldn't watch him like this. She couldn't bear to see the man who brought her hope reduced to this kind of pain. 'Please…' she whispered to nobody in particular. 'Please let me go back…'
Her body shuddered, and all awareness was lost in the sea of ecstasy that was quickly overtaking her. She clung tightly to the sheets, unable to even think anything but her lover's name as her body convulsed again, a soft moan escaping her lips.
The funeral faded to darkness as her eyes opened, and she found herself staring at his face. In that moment all she could say was his name. Everything else was choked back by the flood of emotion that threatened to overtake her. Somehow she'd been redeemed. Her choice had been taken back and she was alive.
She didn't fully understand it as he dropped her on the beach. But her heart raced as their foreheads touched. He told her she could never do something like this again. That she should live for her friends instead of dying for them. Perhaps she was reading too deep, but she could swear he was silently adding 'live for me.' To her surprise, she found that she hoped that was the case.
In that moment she was finally able to push her past where it belonged, in the past, and a tiny spark of hope for the future bloomed in her heart. Somehow his presence gave her confidence that the future would be better than the past.
He started working again, his lips moving slowly up her body, but she pushed him back. He'd given her the first round of pleasure, and now it was his turn. She could see he was ready as she pushed him over on the bed, dragging a slow trail of kisses from the base of his neck down his body. The hazy look in his eyes said it all.
Why? Why did he have to be back now? She'd been ready to move on into the future, her heart fully recovered from the loss of the past. But now he'd returned, and actually helped them overcome a great obstacle. Suddenly things were less clear again, and the small fire of hope that roared in her heart diminished to a spark again.
And Natsu… Even though she could tell it hurt, Natsu had been ready to defy the council itself for her happiness. Even though it wasn't even what she really wanted, he was willing to sacrifice his own desires to make her happy.
A faint smile came to her face. Even when she'd been arrested and knew it was no big deal, her honor was so important to him that he came barging into the council itself. Of course he ended up causing more trouble, but his concern was still charming, in its own way.
But Jellal… She could help him. Reform him. It was obvious he cared for her, since he still remembered her name. After all, he was there in the tower...
She smiled as she licked the remainder of his release from her lips, her body already anticipating the next step. She crawled slowly up his body, teasing him with her lower parts as her lips moved to capture his in another small kiss.
Looking at him she saw Mira and Wendy were right. Something had changed. Natsu Dragneel wasn't the same man he used to be.
Sure he was still cheerful. He still seemed to rush into everything with enough confidence for the whole guild. But now it seemed more like a mask. It was as though he'd put on the personality of his teens to evade questions about his present.
Perhaps because today was Valentine's Day she could see it more clearly. She'd assumed he would get together with Lucy, but even after the events of the war the two weren't an official couple yet. She often wondered what was holding them back.
Today he was at Lisanna's 'grave'. Not the official one, the one he'd set up himself and never taken down after his return. Perhaps it was symbolic to him. After all, the childhood Lisanna who was his 'wife' and played house with him was, in a sense, dead. She would never be back. Perhaps it was his way of putting the past behind him.
She vaguely wondered if there was anything she could do to restore the old Natsu. She really liked that Natsu, the one who helped her smile when she thought she might never smile again. The Natsu that helped her let go of the past and move on to the future…
Well, at least until he came back. Now it was almost like she was stuck with one foot in the past again. It was very gratifying that she was able to help him so much, but he was still little more than a shadow of the kid she once knew…
Then, slowly, a realization began to settle on her. That spark. That fire that Natsu helped start in her to drive her forward toward the light… Somehow she'd allowed it to be extinguished. She'd thrown it away in favor of reincarnating a shadow of her past.
Her past… She'd begun to move on, but now it was true. She was back in that room, determined to save that boy she met in the tower of heaven. But just like Lisanna was dead, that Jellal was dead. She was trying to live in a past that no longer existed, and in doing so she'd abandoned the person she'd only just begun to care for deeply. Not full blown love, perhaps. But there was definitely a spark…
Only a spark, but if Jellal never returned it would've grown to more. Perhaps… Perhaps for Natsu it already had. What if that was the reason he wasn't himself lately? What if she was the one causing him pain?
She couldn't accept that. Maybe it was her imagination, but if it wasn't… If it was more… She just couldn't live with herself if she was hurting him. Sure, Jellal was there in the tower, but who had been there for her in so many desperate situations since then? Who had saved her - no, the entire guild - so many times she could barely count? Who had been the ray of hope when all other hope failed?
Suddenly that spark that Natsu ignited so long ago roared to life again. She would find out if she was the cause of his pain. Because if so… she intended to heal it before the day was over.
She wasn't sure how she was still holding it back. She only knew that she had to. Had to wait until he was ready, so they could experience the ecstasy together. Her mind was numb, her body screaming at her to let it go, but she was waiting. Waiting till she felt that first warm pulse inside her.
Then suddenly it came, and she let it go with loud moan. Her body convulsed powerfully as her world exploded into pleasure, somehow enhanced by the knowledge that her lover was reaching that moment with her.
Moments later they were laying next to each other on the bed, both panting heavily. Her body seemed a swirling contradiction of aching pleasure. Still, she leaned over to whisper in his ear…
"Happy Valentine's Day, Natsu."
"Happy Valentine's Day," he answered as his breathing slowed to a more normal rate. She felt a small smile come to her face as she laid her head on his chest. She'd never felt so safe as she did now.
In some ways she couldn't believe it. Here, exactly one year after the day she first realized how she felt, they'd both experienced the pleasure of physical love for the first time. She'd been ready a couple months ago, but he insisted they wait until this day that was already special for them.
"What are you doing here?" His eyes were wide as he looked up at her, and she was surprised to see a tear on his face. "I thought you'd be getting ready for your date."
"I was looking for you," Erza replied, forcing her eyes to meet his even though she felt that the smile that quickly found his lips was forced.
"Why?"
She returned his question with a question of her own. "Why are you out here by yourself on Valentine's Day. I know lots of girls in the guild, and even in other guilds, who would be thrilled if you asked them for a date."
"Not the one I want to date though," he muttered, looking at the ground.
"Have you asked her?" Erza asked.
"No. Look, forget I said anything. You're probably going to be late for your date."
"How do you know if you never asked her?"
"I just do!" Natsu said, his smile slipping a bit.
"I don't think you can know that without asking her," Erza retorted, as calmly as she could.
"Look, she's seeing somebody else ok?!" Natsu said, turning away. "Now why don't you go get ready for your date?!"
Erza paused. For a moment she was ready to turn around and leave it right there. She was trying to reach out to him and he was being such an ass! Why should she even keep trying?!
No, that wasn't fair to him. He was trying to put her before him. He had every reason to believe she was in love with Jellal. She'd even been trying her hardest to believe it up until a few minutes ago. Perhaps she needed a more direct approach.
"Because this is more important," she said, letting the emotion behind the thought flow into her voice. She hoped the sincerity would give him courage to pursue the conversation further.
"Why?" The single word that escaped his lips wanted to have hope, but didn't quite dare yet. But… It was an improvement. And, more importantly, it proved her intuition was right. He did care for her.
"Because I've spent the last 3 years chasing a shadow of my past instead of embracing my future," she said quietly as she gripped his shoulder, turning him to face her fully.
His eyes registered both hope and disbelief as he looked into hers, but she silently reassured him that he heard her correctly. Making sure she was wearing her normal blouse instead of armor, she pulled him into a tight hug, her fingers gripping his back.
"Does… Does this mean you're not in love with Jellal?" He ventured as his arms hesitantly encircled her waist.
She could only nod as tears threatened to flood her eyes. It felt as though she'd just been relieved of a great burden. The weights were gone from her heart, and it was free to soar again. "I thought I was for a while, but it took me some time to realize that my heart really belonged to a lovable idiot."
They were silent for several long minutes before she finally broke the silence. "So, are you going to tell me who that girl is now?"
"It's you, idiot," he said, and then suddenly froze, a look of fear crossing his face as he realized he just insulted her.
She didn't feel any animosity at the insult, though. Instead she just chuckled. "I guess we can be idiots together, eh?"
Predictably, he'd fallen asleep just minutes afterward. Barely even had the decency to pull his boxers on first. Still, she couldn't help smiling as she looked at his face, so content and peaceful in the tranquility of slumber.
It had been a bumpy road, but in the end they found their happiness. What started as a spark had blossomed into a bright future, and she couldn't wait to walk into it with her Natsu.