Title: In The Middle Of The Night
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Not mine...!
Summary: Three days after 'The Incident'. Sawyer is a broken man. Kate is there to comfort him. They talk openly. Skate story with some suliet...oneshot. Please R/R!
In The Middle Of The Night
It's been three days. They were back in 'Othersville'. They didn't know how or what happened but they were back. Three days ago they just woke up on the floor. Sawyer instantly looked for Juliet and Kate looked from distance, frowning as she saw the look on his face. He was a broken man.
Jack had asked Kate if she'd move in with him. She told him no. "Sawyer needs someone. And I'll be there for him." She had told him.
Sawyer hadn't talked to her or to anyone for that matters but he had let her stay with him most of the time. They were just sitting in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable though. She had tried to speak to him a few times but he wasn't ready yet. She completely understood. She was afraid to touch him. She was afraid of his reaction so she just kept her distance. Although, at night, Sawyer would come closer and wrap an arm around her middle.
Kate was sitting on the ground in the living room. Sawyer was sleeping, his head rested in her lap. It was in the middle of the night. She was crying softly, carassing his hair. Tears rolled down her face and fell down onto his cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, James." She whispered with a broken voice. She began to cry harder and tried to muffle her sobs by pressing her hand on her mouth. A few minutes later Kate had calmed down a bit. "I'm sorry I couldn't get those chains off. I'm sorry she died. I know you loved her and...I'm- I'm sorry I came back. And I'm sorry I was jealous and I'm sorry-"
"I know." A familiar voice suddenly said.
"Sawyer." Kate whispered, gasping. Sawyer opened his eyes and sat up straight. He turned away from her, his back to her and sighed.
"It wasn't your fault, Kate." He said quietly. They sat in silence for a long time. Neither of them said anything. Sawyer still sat with his back went to her. Eventually after ten minutes he broke the silence.
"She was too good for me. I didn't deserve her. She deserved something better." He said without emotion.
"You loved her, James." Kate simply said.
"Yeah, I loved her but that was about it. It was not enough."
"Look at me, James." She whispered.
"I think I did enough of that already..." He muttered.
"What do you mean?" She asked him, confused.
"Nothing..."
"James," She began, "you didn't just love her. You made her feel loved." She said to him, hiding the jealousy she felt in that moment.
"Did I? I'm not so sure about that."
"But I am." She said softly.
"How?" He asked.
"I saw it in her eyes. In the way she smiled. The way she looked at you...she was completely in love with you." She told him, smiling sadly.
"I know...that's what's making it worse."
"Why? James, you loved her and she loved you...I think it was wonderful."
"Wonderful?" He scoffed. "Tell me if I'm wrong but didn't you just say that you were all jealous? Stop lying to me to try to make me feel better... it ain't working!" He said with a loud and angry voice.
Kate was taken back. She didn't expect that. She was shocked and didn't know what to say. And she was hurt. He was right in a way although it did make her happy to see him happy. Tears flooded her eyes. She shook her head slightly and got up, ready to leave the room. Only then Sawyer realized what he had said and shook his head.
"Kate." He said but she was already walking towards the door.
"Kate...please." She heard him say and stopped walking just before reaching the door. She turned around and for the very first time that night their eyes met. His eyes were full of pain and they were asking desperately for forgiveness. She walked back towards him and sat down in front of him.
"I'm sorry I hurt you." He told her, gently. She nodded.
"It's okay."
"No, not just for that...I mean for everything I did to you in the past." He said. Kate shook her head.
"You really didn't do anything wrong, James." She told him.
"Oh yes, I did. And I know that now. Back then I was just too stupid to see it." He said.
"No...I was the one that hurt you and-"
"Yeah, you did. Over and over again..." He said honestly, actually smiling slightly. Kate looked at him, guilty.
"I-" She began but Sawyer broke her off.
"You don't have to explain it, Kate." He said and Kate instantly remembered Cassidy's words.
"Cassidy said those words to me, too." She said, frowning.
"Cassidy?" Sawyer asked her.
"Yeah..." She just answered.
"In what connection?" He asked now curious.
"It doesn't matter..." She whispered, not looking at him.
"Kate?" He said, softly.
"Yeah?" She turned to look at him. He looked confused.
"What is it?" He asked her.
"Nothing." She said a bit too quickly. "Just forget it." She sighed.
"Or you can just tell me." He said.
"Look...I don't think this is the right time. Tonight it's all about you and Juliet. Let's just-"
"It's about you, too, Kate." He said and meant it.
"Why?" She asked him, quietly.
"'Cause you're sitting here with me. I didn't asked you to...but I hoped you would." He said. Kate smiled. "Tell me what she told you."
"Why do you wanna know?" Kate asked him.
"Well...'cause it's Cass. I mean she must be so pissed at me. She might have told you a lot about me, huh?"
"Yeah, she told me a few things about you... she loved you, you know? "
"Trying to make me feel guilty?" He swallowed. "I know that she loved me... she meant a lot to me too." He said.
"Did you love her?" Kate asked.
"No. No, I didn't. You should know that since we played 'I Never'."
"Yeah...I know it's just- We became friends. She's really nice and we've actually got a lot in common."
"You and Cassidy have absolutely nothing in common..."
"Yes, we have. And it's all about you..." She told him being honest. He swallowed. "That's what she said to me. 'You don't have to explain it, Kate. Sawyer broke your heart'." He looked at her, sadly.
"I never meant to hurt you." He said, softly. Kate just nodded.
"Well...sometimes I did hurt you on purpose just because I was pissed." He told her being honest.
"You had every right to be. I'm such a loser." She muttered and hugged her legs to herself. She rested her chin on her knees.
"What the hell are you talking about? If someone's a loser it's not you but...I don't know...the Doc." He said making Kate chuckle.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Sawyer." She said, getting more serious again. She noticed that the pain was coming back in his eyes, which broke her heart all over again. She wanted to touch him so badly, just hold him and take away his pain but she didn't dare to move. They sat in silence for a while. It was an uncomfortable silence.
"I wished it was me...she didn't deserve to die. She was a good person." Kate suddenly said, breaking the silence. Sawyer shook his head.
"Okay, I know where you're going with this. Damn, Kate! Don't make me choose here 'cause there's no such thing as a competition." He told her.
"I know. I know and I'm so sorry, James. I just wanted to make you feel better, " She said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'll just go and leave you alone." She stood up but before she got a chance to leave Sawyer grabbed her wrist.
"Wait! Kate, you got it all wrong!" He said.
"No, I think-"
"Believe me on this, freckles. You got it all wrong." Kate shook her head not quite understanding what he was saying. Sawyer took a deep breath..."I thought about you every day but then someday I just stopped thinking about you 'cause I thought it would be easier if I'd just forgot about you. Then things with Juliet started and I grew to love her. I- I thought I got over you but hell I didn't. And Juliet knew...we had a fight the day she...She kinda broke it off with me. She did what I just couldn't do. I didn't want to hurt her but I did after all." He told her not noticing the tears that made their way down his cheeks. "And now I'm feeling so fucking guilty and I feel like I betray her. Damn it, Kate! It's been three days...I don't know what to do."
Kate knelt down in front of him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her body. She stroked his hair and back comfortingly. Sawyer's strong arms held onto her tightly and his face rested in the crook of her neck. "Then don't do anything...you're right, it's only been three days." She whispered in his ear. She suddenly feels his lips against her neck and closes her eyes for a moment. "Sawyer...don't." She whispered, pleadingly. "I'm sorry." He said and and stopped kissing her neck. "It's okay." She said, softly.
Eventually she let go of him to look into his eyes. She smiled at him, sadly. She laid her hand on his cheek for a moment and then she wiped away his remaining tears. They looked deeply into each others eyes. Without words Sawyer pulled Kate into his lap, his eyes never leaving hers. " I missed you." He whispered. "I missed you, too, James." She told him, softly and sighed. He slowly leaned closer, his eyes now focusing on her lips. "James...no." She whispered, her voice almost sounding painful. "Kate...please." Sawyer begged before touching his lips to hers. His hands came up to her face as he deepened the kiss. Kate gave in and kissed back. She broke the kiss a few seconds later and pulled him in for a hug instead. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to-" He began but Kate interrupted him.
"Shh...it's all right." She told him.
"Thank you, freckles." She smiled.
"Do you want me to stay?" She asked a bit later. He nodded.
"Will you just hold me?"
"Of course."
The End
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Please review! :)