Title: Not Good Enough
Genre: Gen
Characters: Sam, Dean, John and River Winchester
Summary: River wants to take a more hands on approach to hunting. The other Winchester are a bit reluctant and River is a bit pissy. Never a good combo.
XXX
River was a Winchester and as such he was required to do Winchester shit. Like run and do sit-ups and wind sprints and muck the damn horse stalls. River was learning to live with it.
But living with Jamie was something else.
Jamie was Winchester squared. River woke up in the morning to Jamie's two hundred and fifty crunches.
Every. Fucking. Morning.
River had to listen to him discuss the latest and greatest hunting equipment. Lately it was some kind of composite crossbow, lighter, more durable and more accurate than last year's model. Some kids geeked out on computer games or maybe even sports. But not Jamie…weapons were his happy place. Although he liked football. Of course he liked football, he was the star quarterback.
Then of course there was the obligatory practice with said weapons. Could Jamie get any better? Probably not. At the ripe old age of sixteen he had taken and completed the marksman course for Marines. No, he did not get credit for it, but there were perks to being a hunter and especially the grandson of a former Marine. But Jamie was classified as an Expert Marksman. He could shoot prone, standing, kneeling at sitting at 200, 300 and 500 yards. And additional tactical shooting as well.
God forbid anyone in the Corp ever really found out what and how Jamie Winchester could shoot. The damn kid would find himself in Special Ops before he became eighteen.
But again -no one knew because they were Winchesters and Winchesters did what they did and shut up about it.
Then to top it all off, Jamie could fight. Not fistfight…River could do that. Jamie fought like some kind of insane martial arts cage fighter on PCP. He was that fucking good or bad depending on whose side he was on.
Watching Jamie spar was like watching a dancer. He moved like a dancer, graceful, lithe, and quick until he didn't move like a dancer anymore and moved like a tiger just before the kill.
It was disheartening to say the least.
Because River was sixteen too and he'd been living as a Winchester for three years. He had muscle where he never thought muscle could be. He was strong. He was quick. He could shoot and he could fight. River was above average in almost every category most kids would be in, but he would never be Jamie.
Jamie was cool about it though. Of course he was. 'Cause Jamie was a good guy. The girls loved him. The boys loved him. His teachers loved him. Fuck even River loved him. Except when he hated him. And then he hated himself for hating him.
And sometimes…sometimes it just got to be too much. Jamie was a little too nice, or a little too good or a little too fucking perfect and River would lose his shit.
Which is why he was in the predicament he was now.
Jamie Winchester. Good old boy and poster child for even temper was going to kick River's ass up one side and down another. He was gonna kill River and River was gonna fight back because River was a Winchester too and he was good. Hell he was really good but he wasn't as good as Jamie. So when the dust cleared and the blood settled it was going to be River Winchester laying in the dirt and Jamie barely out of breath with bruised knuckles.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Jamie demanded, he circled River like a cat playing with a mouse.
"You are my problem."
River stepped up to Jamie and slammed a hard right uppercut– which oddly enough hit its mark. Smack dab in the middle of Jamie's jaw, just like Sam had taught him. It was as if Jamie really didn't believe that his cousin was going to hit him. And River hit him hard, hard enough that he felt pretty sure that Jamie saw stars. His cousin stepped back a bit, reeling with the impact. It was a sucker punch. Designed to incapacitate a bigger, stronger opponent.
And then it was on.
Jamie came in fast and furious fist and legs a blur of motion. River had fucking started this fight but it was obvious that Jamie was going to end it. Oddly enough, River had a longer reach than Jamie, but Jamie knew how to maximize efficiency as a close range fighter and he did it with ease. His timing was impeccable and no matter how River tried to step out of his range to give himself a small breather, Jamie was right back in. River wanted to knock him out – but despite his height advantage, he just didn't have the skill set to match his cousin.
That is until Uncle Dean stepped in.
Dean pulled Jamie off physically, which gave River the opportunity to charge back in and deliver a flurry of punches to Jamie's kidneys, which had Dean pulling River off of Jamie.
Finally the older man was between them both, using his body as a shield for each boy holding them at arms length.
They struggled against Dean but neither was a match for him. They were both strong boys but they were boys and Dean had a man's bulk and strength behind each arm.
"What the Hell is going on here?" Dean asked, his voice a low rumble.
"River and his damn fucking ego shit, that's what's going on and I'm gonna pound him – so fucking hard that when he comes to, he's gonna wish he didn't"
"Whoa, son. There is no more pounding going on. Especially not with your cousin. I'm not asking again, what's going on?" When neither boy answered Dean growled low, "Now."
"How do I, know, Dad? The little dick just jumped me!"
"I'm not little Jamie, I'm taller than you and my dick is bigger too."
The mention of dick size seemed to throw Uncle Dean to off his game.
"Huh?"
"Don't you think that's kinda outaline Cuz?" Jamie made another dive at River but was instantly thwarted by Uncle Dean.
"No" River countered, "I don't have many things up on you and if dick size is gonna have to be one of them, I'm calling it." River realized he was insane. He had to be, no one compared dick sizes! Well, the reality was everyone did - but no one talked about it. Especially not with their uncle right in front of them. It was exactly why River knew he'd lost his mind.
Apparently Uncle Dean was getting that River was insane too.
"Jamie…take a walk." Uncle Dean ordered.
"Me take a walk? – River's the one who's gone apeshit."
"Maybe, but you are taking a walk. A long walk – in fact, check the back fence line for breaks or possible problems. That should take a while."
"And why am I being punished by having to do chores while shithead there gets to sit and talk about his feelings like a fucking girl!"
"Because I said so." Uncle Dean dropped his voice a notch and turned away from River. He didn't really have to put physical intimidation into the order but he did anyway. Jamie apparently took it to heart and backed up, holding his hands up in resignation and defeat.
"Fine." He called over his shoulder to River, "Don't think this is over fucknuckle."
Dean yelled back, "It's over if I say it's over and I'm damn well saying it's over. Now get your ass out to that field and if I hear another four letter word I'm gonna help you move but swatting your butt from here to the gate. Got it?"
Jamie waved a hand in his father's direction. River wasn't sure if it was acquiescence of dismissal, it didn't matter though Jamie moved toward the barn.
"Now what is your problem?"
"Why does everyone think I have a problem?
"Because you do. Now spill."
River ignored his uncle and turned back to the house.
Bad move on his part.
Uncle Dean caught him before he had take two steps toward the house and laid a scathing vicious row of smacks down across his ass – so quick and so hard they caught River completely unprepared.
Then he grabbed River and spun him in a circle, as if deciding on his next move, and then apparently having made his decision pulled him toward the front porch of the house like he weighed nothing. Once there he sat down on the third step and pulled River over his ass and peppered his already stinging butt with another round of hard spanks.
"Do we need to loose the jeans or are we talking here?"
River took a deep breath.
"Talking."
His uncle let him up or maybe pulled him up, River wasn't quite sure.
But now that he was facing Uncle Dean with the quick burn of tears in his eyes, he didn't want to talk. He did however want to save his ass so he did.
"It's about the hunt."
"What about it? It went great. We ganked the thing, done in record time. No on got so much as a paper cut. I call it a win."
"No, you, Dad and Jamie ganked it. I was stuck in the room with Dear ol' Gramps doing research."
"Yeah, and it was that research that helped us locate it, hunt it down and kill it. You are the reason things went so damn perfectly. Hell, you even found the hunt on your own."
Suddenly angry again, River voice rose. "Yeah, I did. But who went in for the kill? Not me, I was stuck with the old man."
Uncle Dean backed up a step. "First, you better hope to hell he didn't hear you call him "the old man" 'cause he will jack you up on principal alone. Secondly do no tell me you are jealous because your cousin got to make a kill and you didn't"
River thought for a minute.
"Yes, yes I am. I'm tired of being on super secret probation. Tired of working the back, I'm almost as good as Jamie, I can hunt too. You've been training me for three years and I still almost never get to actually hunt." Do all
"Then," River continued building steam with each word, " I find a hunt, track it, do all the legwork, all but give it to you on a silver platter, you, Dad and Jamie go in an gank it and I'm left holding a fucking computer cord. How do you think that makes me feel?"
"I dunno, satisfied, proud, SAFE."
"No, no it doesn't. I feel like you don't even trust me to make a kill on my own. Hell, not even on my own- with you and Dad as backup. I shoulda been there last night. That hunt was my baby, I shoulda been the one to pull the trigger, instead it was JAMIE. Jamie who did nothing but show up, lace his boots, make sure his gun was loaded and then walk out with you and dad to kill it."
Uncle Dean frowned, "Now that's not true. Jamie may not have done anything additional last night, but he works hard to…"
River interrupted, face red with fury, " to be the best that he can be. To out Winchester the Winchesters, he leaps buildings in a single bound and out races trains. I got it."
Uncle Dean spoke, "Nah, that's Superman, He's Batman."
Frustrated, River slapped his hands against his sides, "See! See! That's just it! He's Batman, I'm not even ROBIN. I'm more the fucking BATCAVE."
"That's not fair River, we all have different jobs to do, different parts to play. You inherited your father's gift for research – you can follow a week old trail better than a bloodhound, you can sift through all those Is and Os and make sense out of gibberish. You are amazing."
"I don't care. I want in on Winchester hunting. In the front door, not the back and I'm sick of it." River had moved back to the steps of the front porch and sat down with a thump. He almost jumped back up because despite the on the spot spanking Uncle Dean had given him, his ass hurt almost as much as a pre-meditated one.
Uncle Dean sat down next to him.
"So why didn't you come to your Dad, or me and tell us how you felt."
River rolled his eyes, "Would you have listened?" 'River, you're not quite ready. River go where your strengths lie. River I don't want my baby boy injured."
Uncle Dean jumped in, "Hey, Sam is emo and all but he wouldn't say that."
"Are you telling me that if I said I wanted in on the kill this weekend and said so, you would have let me."
Uncle Dean considered it for a moment, "No, no I wouldn't have and neither would have anyone else. " He held up his hand to stop the argument that River was quite prepared to make, "First, in the field, Jamie is better than you. Just like you have him beaten in research. He can't connect the dots like you do and we needed you there, just like we needed him out front. Secondly, deciding who goes on what hunt is an adult decision. Gramps, your dad and me. We are the ones who make the final call. Yes, if you had told us you'd wanted in, we would have considered it, but it wouldn't have happened – not in this case. It doesn't mean that your input doesn't count, nor does it mean that you are not "good enough" to hunt. It does mean you are still learning and we are choosing your hunts carefully. Making sure you have positive experiences and making weighing your chance of getting hurt. Make no mistake about it we do the same with Jamie too. Which brings me to the next question. Why'd you try to kill Jamie?"
River hung his head. He had tried to kill his best friend.
"Dunno". River didn't even have a chance to duck the well time smack that rattled his head.
"Hey!" He automatically answered indignantly. "You already beat my ass, why are trying to mess up my hair too. Besides, that's where that super smart research brain is. You might have dislodged something."
"Because we don't answer a direct question with 'dunno'. And that you do know. "
River thought for a moment, he knew an unthoughtful answer wouldn't be tolerated, "Because I'm tired of Jamie getting all the glory, no matter how well deserved. And I'm tired of never being good enough. And because he is so fucking perfect."
"Well, you know that isn't true. Jamie has messed up on more times than I can count and there is probably a list of them that you and he know that I will never know. But I get where you are coming from. Sam and I went through that too, he always thought I was better in some things – and for the most part it was true. But Sam worked hard and Dad made us work hard together and we got to be an awesome team. Plus Sam has always been better than me in some things and I've just had to let that go. Neither one of you is perfect. Work on working together, using each other's strengths to reinforce the other's weakness. Help each other out. Don't pummel each other.
"Okay…Sorry Uncle Dean."
"It's not me you need to say you are sorry to, River." Uncle Dean disappeared in the house and came back with a hammer and some nails.
"Here, he's gonna have a helluva time fixing fence without these."
River rose to go follow his cousin out to the field.
TBC