Just saw the trailer for episode 2 and something popped up. Read and review please. What a awesome first episode by the way. It blew me away. Only one little thing, she didn't look all that beat up but maybe we will see something else in the upcoming episodes. Bruises heal, cuts fade away but lies beneath never does.

The confrontation

This was it. She knew she had to do this. She opened his front door which was open as usual, he never bothered to close it anyway. She walked down to his basement and found him there nursing his bourbon. After their return he had been avoiding her, never letting her get near him. She knew she had to go and see him but that didn't mean she wanted it to. Facing her father had been easy compared with this. She sighed and descended down the basement stairs.

"We need to talk, yes" She softly said.

"What do you want me say" He did even bother to look at her.

"Ask me the one thing you need to know" She was bracing herself for the storm ahead.

"Did you kill Ari because your father ordered you to kill him"

"No, I did not"

His head shot up. This time he was looking at her.

"According to Vance you did or at least that is what he told me in order for you to and I quote kill two birds with one stone namely gain my trust and too complete your assignment"

"Yes, my father did order me to kill Ari but I refused. I told Ari I would take care of his disappearance. I had arranged everything, new identity, new life everything. I did all of that without my father's knowledge. I knew I could never kill my brother."

"But you did"

"yes, I did." She went silent but after a short while continued.

"and there is not a day that goes by that I do not regret it"

She knew she had to be completely honest with him or she would never regain his trust ever again.

" I would love nothing more than to know that my brother is somewhere safe and out of the reach of our father and Mossad. He however saw it differently he went and killed an American agent. In his quest for revenge against my father he had become the one thing he fought, he became just like him. He did not care anymore, he did not care for anything anymore. My brother died long before I shot him, my father made sure of that. I knew that when I heard him in your basement that no matter what I did he would not qive up trying to hurt my father and that he did not care if he destroyed other people's life in the process and that the moment I decided to shoot him. I DID NOT SHOOT MY BROTHER because of my father's orders. I made that decision all on my own and I do not care who says anything else"

She became angry with him. She deserved more then what he was given her right now. She had shown her loyalty during the years she served with him. She turned around not really caring whether he wanted her back on the team or not. He remained silent. The trust between them was shattered.

"I came here because I wanted to ask you to if I could come back on the team but I am not going to beg. I did not beg for my life when they tortured me and I am certainly not going to start now"

She started to walk back up the stairs.

"Why didn't you have Rivkin removed, you knew he was a liability."

She turned around stunned at this piece of information.

"How would you know such a thing"

Gibbs stood up and poured himself another drink.

"Hadar"

Gibbs emptied another jar, filled it up and walked up to Ziva who by now was sitting on one of the stairs leading up to his ground floor. He gave her the jar but she refused.

"No thanks. I have so much drugs inside of me that it would not be healthy for me to also add alcohol to the mix"

"I did not have Micheal removed because I knew if I called it in they would get rid of him. Just like I had been ordered to do so with Ari. I could not have that on my head as well. I could not go on living with the fact that I have killed my brother and had my best childhood friend ordered dead but we all know how that went did we not"

Ziva all off a sudden felt exhausted, empty and all alone. Gibbs sat down next to her and gave her the jar once again.

"You can sleep in the guestroom"

Ziva grabbed the jar and with one big gulp she drank the bourbon.

"I was ready to die. I wanted to die. It felt right after all the things I had done, killing my own brother and getting Micheal killed. I had and have nothing left. Killing yourself is against my religion but getting killed during a mission would not arouse any suspicion. I would die like a soldier, the soldier my father always wanted. If I did not accomplish anything in my life at least I would have made my father proud"

"When are you going to stop and try making you father proud and start living your own life"

"I was going to do that by asking you if I could return but since that is not going to happen I might as well leave for Israel in the morning"

"and then what"

"I'll open up a restaurant and be a cook" She chuckled.

Ziva was getting drowsy. The medication in combination with the alcohol was getting to her. Her head was resting on Gibb's shoulders and slowly she was fallen asleep.

Gibbs lifted her up and carried her to his spare bedroom. She didn't even notice it.

At 06.00 she was woken up by Gibb's who had already showered and gotten himself dressed.

"Get up"

"Why" Ziva rubbed her eyes.

"You don't want to be late for your first day back at work are you now"

THE END

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