Plop.
Plop. Plop.
Plop.
I sniffle and wipe my eyes. They just don't understand. It's not fair.
Plop.
I stare down at my jeans and the dark splats that dotted the denim. I just want to be home.
The bus turns a corner. I do my best to ignore the stares, the snide comments, the cruel, judgemental people.
"Look at her," their voices echo. "she's so stupid. She spends all her time talking to her online 'friends'. Get a life, nerd."
"Maybe if she actually wore makeup or nice clothes she'd have real friends."
"She always has her nose in a book or a DS."
"She's nothing but a brown-nosing teachers pet."
Plop.
Plop.
The bus screeches to a halt. I stand, feeling numb. Clutching the straps of my heavy backpack in my hands, I leave, leaving the front seat and walking off the bus.
The cold air nips at my face, cooling the tears that still fall. I walk, just moving one foot, then the other.
The bus starts again and goes, taking my tormentors with it.
They'll just be back tomorrow.
I release the sob that had been threatening to escape me. I sniffle, then sob again.
It hurts. I hurt. Not physically, but inside. My soul wants out. To be free. To escape the husk of my broken body.
...But I can't let it. Not in a world like this. Not in a world where I am tormented by my peers and thoughts alike. Not in a world where freedom and creativity are sapped from me.
No, I can only be free in one place. A place where I can be me. Where I am accepted for what I do, where I am judged for what I say. I place where my face or cup size don't matter. A place where I'm not afraid to feel.
I sob again.
Why, I think. Why can't they be with me all the time? Actually physically be with me?
Zzzzz zzz
A small vibrate, followed by a shorter one. A notification that offers peace. Comfort. Hope. Relief.
I sniffle and wipe my nose before I pull my phone from my pocket. I reach the door and go in, unlocking the screen and opening my tab. A new message.
Hey! it reads. You're home from school now, right? If you aren't too busy, d'ya think you could help me finish this last scene before I post the chapter?
I smile as I enter my sanctuary and close the door. Wall stickers and posters greet me. The fish tank finger whirs like normal. A constant, refreshing sound.
My tears spent, I reply, confirming that I can help. Seconds pass.
Zzzzz zzz
Great! Thank so much. I'll be on the Doc now!
I reply with an emoticon. Just two simple characters.
:D
And I actually mean it.
Maybe this world is worth is. Maybe I can be happy here. My soul doesn't need to escape. I just need to go with it. I don't need acceptance from everybody. Sure, it still hurts to be rejected, but there are people who welcome me. People who care. Even if I haven't met, and probably never will, they are there. They love me. They care and accept.
Plop.
Plop. Plop.
More tears fall. This time, they are happy. They splatter on my screen and give me peace. I am happy. My soul is happy. I am free. As long as I have these connections, I'm fine. As long as they are there for me, I am fine. I am fine. I am me. They are there for me I am not alone. We are fine. We are ourselves. We are one.
"There's no one I'd rather be than me."
-Disney's 'Wreck it Ralph'
Plop.