Memorial
Summary: Naruto died in the Country of the Wave, killed by Haku. Kakashi mourns for another life, so pointlessly lost. Then he thinks: was Naruto's life meaningless after all?
Pairing(s): none
Genre: General/Angst
A/N: We all torment ourselves with regrets sometimes. Kakashi more than most. Some would say he has more to regret, others that he just needs to let go sometimes. Hopefully, he will learn how to deal with the new griefs in his life.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
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The memorial stone - another death, another name. Kakashi traced the letters engraved in the cold metal: Uzumaki Naruto. /Never to be hokage/ he thought frustratedly, angered at the life so pointlessly lost. /We shinobi are but tools, after all…/ The teacher snorted, suppressing bitter laughter.
In his mind, Kakashi was fourteen again. His sensei, Yondaime, was dead - killed defending the village from the Kyuubi. He had sealed the demon in a baby boy - the same infant Kakashi was watching now.
He had come out of curiosity, more than anything - to see the container of the demon that had killed so many. He was prepared to hate, to despise the boy that involuntarily carried this violent spirit - to judge him for what he was made to be. But when he looked into the baby's bright blue eyes, so like Yondaime's, he was lost. The infant was so beautiful, so pure, so innocent, that Kakashi's hate melted away.
A tear slid down Kakashi's masked face - or was it a raindrop? The sky was crying for the bright, beautiful boy who was lost so early.
This time, Kakashi was twenty. He had just come back from a routine A-rank mission - just a simple assassination. The ANBU member sat wearily on the roof of a building near Naruto's apartment, bloodstained mask dangling from his weary fingers. Gazing at the peacefully sleeping boy, Kakashi felt some of his tension slip away. The last thing that met his eyes before he fell asleep was the carefree face of the little blonde child.
For what seemed like the hundredth time, Kakashi traced the cold letters. /Did you know Haku would kill you? You died protecting your rival./ His lonely thoughts were directed above, towards heaven and Naruto. As usual, he received no answer but memories.
He had no choice - Zabuza forced him to fight while their protégés battled in a cage of ice. The jounin was in agony - he was not able to protect his students, those who relied on him for protection. As he mechanically went through the motions of attacking and defending, his agile mind searched for a way out of the horrible fate he seemed to have been sentenced to. Suddenly, a heart-rending wail floated through the misty air. Sasuke? Naruto? Haku - Zabuza's tool? He craned his neck to see, but had to dodge a blow of the demon's sweeping sword.
He shoulders sagged under the immense burden of regrets they carried, and the memories he faced every day. /The death - that wasn't the worst part…/
After Gatou was killed, he sprinted over to Sasuke's side. The Uchiha boy was cradling the body of his best friend and rival, now gone cold and stiff. Naruto's eyes were still open, dried blood tracing a line down to his chin. His once-orange jumpsuit was stained red with blood and studded with silver - Haku's needle weapons had done their work.
Kakashi squatted down next to Sasuke, knowing better than to say anything. Wordlessly, he gently slid the boy's eyes shut. It began snowing, the gentle white flakes seeming to kiss Naruto's face.
It was, eventually, Sakura who pried her Sasuke-kun's arms from around Naruto's body. With Tazuna-san's help, they managed to get both rivals back to his house. Naruto was buried by the bridge the next day, and a memorial was erected to forever immortalize him and his heroic efforts to end the oppression of a country that was not his own.
Sasuke was more withdrawn after that. "He died saving me," he confessed to Kakashi one day. "I was down… I couldn't move. He jumped in front of me. He took the hits that were meant for me."
What could Kakashi say? The rain began to intensify - it was pouring now. Kakashi made no move to retreat from the deluge.
/All in vain…/ he thought dejectedly. /Why? Why did Naruto die? Nothing's changed./
His mind flashed back to the memorial service. The rookie nine, Sarutobi-sama, Konohamaru and his gang, and Iruka-sensei were the only ones who came besides himself and the remnants of his team. There was no coffin; the body had already been buried. But a picture of a smiling Naruto was placed on an altar, and all the shinobi present bowed their heads, acknowledging the boy at last.
It still hurt to recall how few people attended - how few bothered to acknowledge Naruto in any way at all. /How could they not care?/ asked Kakashi to himself. /How can they remain so prejudiced? Naruto died in a mission, died a full ninja. If it were any other ninja in this village, everyone would be here./
He bit his lip, pressing his hand harder into the engraved letters. They left an angry red imprint on his hand. /What did your life change?/ he asked Naruto bitterly. /What was the point?/
"I'll go out with you, Sakura-chan!"
"What I like is ramen. I dislike waiting the three minutes for the ramen to cook."
"I'll never lose to you again, Sasuke!"
"What are you going to do, cry all day? Stop being such a sissy!"
"I'm going to become Hokage one day, and then everyone in the village will acknowledge me!"
"I will do everything so that I have no regrets. That's my way of the ninja!"
/He changed me/ Kakashi admitted, recalling Naruto's self made 'way of the ninja.' /He made me realize that I can accept myself the way I am, and that I don't have to keep living in the past - that the present is more important. He changed Sasuke - he made the boy open up, to see that life isn't just about avenging. Sakura changed - he made her strong. The Hokage changed, Konohamaru is different now too. Inari learned what a true hero is, and Iruka-sensei learned not to judge people because of what they were made to be… We all gained something from him…/
The jounin's mind flashed back to Sasuke, in the hospital but very much alive; and Sakura, mourning, but safe and dry. Tazuna-san, Inari, and all the people of the Country of the Wave - secure and prospering because of the new bridge - the Great Naruto Bridge.
/Maa, Naruto/ he thought warmly, eyes brimming with tears. /You did more and reached out to more people than any Hokage ever could./ He smiled and put down his package - Naruto's hitai-ate tied around a bouquet of flowers, then turned and walked back through the rain, finally at peace with himself.
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Quick Question: I've been thinking of doing a series of Hinata-centric drabbles, one for each day of spring (March through May). How often do you think I should update (once a day, once a week) and how should they be organized (a chapter per drabble, a chapter per week)? Also, should I do three separate collections, one for each month, or just lump them all together? Leave a review with your opinion, please!