A/N: Another story I don't really like, but the idea got stuck in my head and writing was the best way to free up space for more important things. I don't really like it. It's pretty OOC. Read it if you want. It has BL and random and extremely rudimentary Italian and French. And, I suppose, moments of trivial amusement.

Heart Attack

Contrary to popular opinion, Hibari was capable of things besides causing bodily harm. For instance, he was very good at stealthily stalking his prey. He was able to instill overwhelming terror in a glance. He could even fold and iron a Nanimori Middle uniform until it looked like it was fresh-from-the-factory new. Yes, Hibari was truly a man of many talents. From time to time he even raised his voice not to bark out commands, but to hum a quiet little tune. Which wasn't even related to causing people bodily harm. Although shocking to the point of unease, it was true.

And why not? Hibari would never stand for herding, and even his subordinates could be banished with only a slight nod. The solitude in which he preferred to hum was nothing in short supply. In perfect silence Hibari was the absolute master of the air and if he saw fit to add his voice to it, then that was simply how things were to be—people did not argue with Hibari if they held anything in the world dear. Ever.

Even if Hibari chose to burst into loud and exuberant song in a crowded subway train, the other passengers would keep their mouths shut about it for the rest of their lives, if necessary.

In addition, Hibari would have gruesomely killed whatever unfortunate soul had drugged him into singing publically in the first place. But that was another story entirely.

Hibari surveyed his domain, satisfied that all was in place and that the little town was dancing about in its perfect order. He was up on the school roof once again, breathing in the gentle suburban air and letting peace wash over him in waves. He had the Disciplinary Committee monitoring things for him, but even the rest of the populace seemed to agree that this day was far to pleasant to disrupt. Or, more specifically, a few had seen Hibari walk by smiling, been stricken with some nameless terror, and word had quickly spread. Not a peep interrupted Hibari's orderly little world—until a petite, fluffy menace descended from the sky.

Hibari smiled at Hibird—the only creature alive that had no need to fear his smile—and permitted the bird to land on his shoulder and chirp the last few bars of the Nanimori theme song. It nuzzled his cheek hopefully and Hibari indulged it by petting its soft head. He continued to watch the marvel that was his city. Nanimori was just perfect. Once or twice he had contemplated acquiring larger territories, but the truth was that managing Nanimori brought all the excitement Hibari required. He had power in spades no matter where he ruled—mostly he just wanted a place to live in the comfort he demanded.

And someplace that accommodated Hibird, but the avian had proven pleasingly adaptable to whatever situation Hibari threw it into.

Hibird was beginning to trill its song again, and Hibari frowned when the notes suddenly diverged from the usual theme. Instead of the simple pattern Hibari was accustomed to, the bird was singing a far more complicated song—one not related to Nanimori Middle. Hibari's first impulse was to scold the creature, but as recognition of the song dawned on him, his frown softened and he relaxed again. Hibird was singing a folk song from one of the Nanimori festivals, which was acceptable enough. Hibari had no idea where it'd picked it up, but as long as Hibird did not persist in it for too long, Hibari didn't mind. In fact, the change was slightly pleasant, and eventually summoned a faint smile onto Hibari's features.

As the song fell to a close, Hibird chirping Hibari's name inquisitively, wondering if its audience had been entertained, Hibari replied by humming the opening bars as well, smile widening as Hibird eagerly joined him, high-pitched tenor winding through Hibari's deeper one. Perhaps it was the way the air was so perfect or Hibari's (nothing short of miraculous) good mood or just the peace that had descended upon Nanimori like a thick, heady cloud, but Hibari found his mouth opening and instead of humming, singing along with Hibird. He hadn't actually sung a note since he was in grade school as it was a frivolous, silly activity, but for whatever reason he decided that frivolities were no longer of any importance and let his voice fill the air. It was his air, after all. There was no reason not to.

The folk song was composed of the old, lyrical Japanese of which Hibari was so fond, poetry without a voice and magic with it. It was some sort of spell, perhaps, or a story. One could never tell. Graceful trees danced in the world below him, and in the new one he created where a princess made of stars came to dance along the fertile fields that had long since faded into suburban housing. It was ultimately a song Hibari always found pleasant—the woman had come to the earth to make the harvest great and executed her job faultlessly. The fact that she died at the end of the song had never bothered Hibari, but he found himself listening to his voice and Hibird's, and the melody was like a lament; sweet, sad, and painful with loneliness. Just the sort of thing Hibari sneered at, generally, but it suited the song quite well, and it was not unpleasant to sing, so Hibari allowed it to continue to the end before he fell silent and slumped against the railing with Hibird preening his hair.

A moment later he raised his eyebrow and tilted his head just far back enough that the profile leaning by the door was visible. And then he suddenly stood straight upright, wound tight as a spring because standing by the door was not some herbivore he could cow into silence. No, it was THE herbivore. It was Dino Cavallone. Correction: it was Dino Cavallone and Hibari had just reprioritized because he was holding a cell phone.

Yes, a cell phone.

Hibari looked at it and willed it to disappear as the nightmarish illusion it surely was.

It stayed where it was. Dino appeared to be crying. Hibari could care less and was, right now, going to give him something to cry about.

He drew himself to his full height—less imposing than usual against Dino who was taller than any sane human being had any right to be—and gave his most imperious glare. "Who was that?" He asked calmly, still leaning against the railing. He was the very picture of serenity. And yet, that was a cell phone. Hibari was not serene. His knuckles had gripped the railing so hard that they turned white.

Hibird chose this moment to leave his shoulder and get out of tonfa range.

Dino failed to speak. He just stared at Hibari with suspiciously shiny eyes and didn't make a noise except to breathe. The breathing offended Hibari, as did the cell phone. He strode forward to take it, hand outstretched desperately, but Dino snatched Hibari's hand out of the air and held it to his chest, where Hibari couldn't hurt him with it. Dino's other hand continued to hold the cell phone. Hibari ignored the unnaturally tight grip on his wrist and focused on the cell phone, preparing to grab it and quickly destroy it while Dino was distracted.

"I… I don't know," Dino answered in a faltering voice, and Hibari was momentarily distracted enough to stare up at the man in confusion. "The—the singer… was it? I… I've never heard…" Dino lost his ability to speak Japanese again and Hibari stared at him in vague disgust. Yes, only Cavallone would be stupid enough to think that Hibari was the sort of person to lecture him about Japanese culture. Better yet, only Cavallone would be stupid enough to misunderstand what was perhaps the first time Hibari Kyouya had lost his cool since birth. Dino's stupidity was a blessing in disguise after all, and fortune smiled on Hibari; Dino had plenty of blessings.

Dino took a deep breath, and managed to speak like a normal human being. "Surely you would know better than I." And then he broke into that beautiful, dazzling smile that forced Hibari to avert his eyes and resign himself to the fact that Dino was about to be very, very annoying. Hibari, being vastly superior to Dino, had already analyzed Dino's behavior and knew exactly where this was going.

Similar things happened occasionally. For instance, the time Hibari had cooked Dino some noodles (he still wasn't sure what sort of mind control had been involved with that instance, but Dino insisted that he'd done nothing and Hibari was amused enough that he didn't murder Dino for his lies) because Dino had wound up lost, alone, and sobbing on Hibari's doorstep in the middle of a typhoon and while Hibari was heartless, Dino was loud and indestructible and letting him in had been the quickest way to shut him up. Dino had, upon his first bite, smiled like the sun had just come out for the first time in his life, gotten even louder somehow, and Hibari had been forced to restrain him from taking out his cell phone and dialing all of his contacts in Italy. Meanwhile, Dino had informed him with that glowing smile that Hibari was the most amazing thing on the planet, and that he simply must become a professional chef and share his talent with the world, and that he would be a divo, a star. Hibari had ultimately informed him that he wanted nothing to do with any rest of the world in which Dino existed and upended the bowl of noodles on his head.

Had that been an isolated instance of Dino's insanity, it would have been of no importance. However, parallels could be drawn to the time when Hibari had introduced Dino to Japanese kabuki dancing. Due to the fact that Dino was incurably stupid and that he was bribing Hibari with a fight—in addition, some men in the front row had been acting rowdy and Hibari needed to know how far he should pursue their discipline—Hibari had remained in the audience with him and explained what was going on to the rambunctious Italian. And Dino had decided, without consulting either Hibari or his common sense, that Hibari was born to be a Japanese tour guide. And once more, Hibari had been bombarded with that annoying term; divo, divo, divo.

If Cavallone insisted on invading both Hibari's country and his town, the least he could do was speak actual Japanese. He refused to, though. Even when he made those teasing suggestions—and they were definitely teasing because if they weren't teasing, Hibari was going to be Not Happy and Cavallone was going to lose an eye—that Hibari follow his life's calling and become a professional model because Cavallone found him so beautiful, he still insisted on that term. Divo. Just another reason for Hibari to dislike Dino, if a minor one.

Suddenly it didn't seem so minor.

Hibari realized that if Dino said it this time, once the word divo, once all the Italian lauds started pouring out of Dino's foolish lips, Hibari's heart was going to stop beating. It was as solid a fact as the fact that gravity squished the things Hibari chucked off of the roof and Tsuna was an idiot until the baby shot him in the head. It would simply come to pass.

If it was anyone other than Dino, Hibari would be just fine. But because it was Dino, and Dino had no concept of subtlety, and Dino did not fear Hibari as he truly should, Dino was going to humiliate Hibari until the humiliation showed, and that would be a death blow. The thought of looking so pathetic in front of Cavallone was unthinkable. Hibari, for the first time in his life, actually thought he might prefer death. Only for a split second, but he glanced at the railing from where Dino held him close.

And then he remembered that he was not any sort of herbivore. He'd simply been drugged again. And if anyone's death was getting contemplated, it was going to be Cavallone's.

"The phone, herbivore," Hibari began in his most dangerous voice, all but snarling. A few yards away, grass blackened and withered and for no reason at all, in the next town over, a little girl started to cry. Hibird, who was fluttering nervously overhead decided that now was a good time to be someplace else and found a perch on the roof's rails. Hibari's eyes narrowed to slits. "Give it to me."

"No way!" Dino said at once, and used his unfairly long reach to effectively remove the phone to safety. Hibari was not about to grab for it like a child when Dino was restricting his reach further by holding onto his hand still, so he simply glared at the older man, who smiled down benevolently. "That's one thing I cannot do."

Hibari's glower did not waver. He stared dead into Dino's misty eyes—yes, for whatever reason Hibari didn't care about, he indeed had been crying—searching for that pressure point that would make them widen with fear and flicker away. Dino held his gaze endlessly. Hibari's lip curled. "I want the phone," he repeated. "I will bite you to death, herbivore."

"You're welcome to," Dino told him with infuriating calm. His staring was unnerving. "Kyouya… you're so—"

Hibari's own first name made him feel sick, reminding him of just how far he'd fallen. The anticipation of that stupid word divo was making his stomach turn. "Silence!" Hibari snapped, tearing his arm free and hastily putting distance between himself and Dino, who had the decency to look alarmed by Hibari's sudden burst of temper. Hibari couldn't pull his eyes away from the phone, couldn't stop hearing his own despicable singing voice in his ears, couldn't help but forget the momentary joy of it in favor for the sick, guilty twisting of his insides. Hibird chirped worriedly but ventured no closer. And Hibari slowly fell to pieces.

His hands wrapped around his tonfas, taking stability from them while the rest of him collapsed, and Hibari lashed out violently, wildly, painful anxiety fueling his hostility. Dino let out a shout, backpedalling hard, but he wasn't fast enough. Hibari caught him solidly on the arm and Dino cried out, voice marring Hibari's silence. Hibari advanced. He reached to take the phone he'd rightfully won, paying no mind to Dino's groans or his shuddering heart. The phone was the only thing that mattered anymore. He had to destroy it. He had to make it so that this moment never happened—

His mind was elsewhere and all his technique and experience had gone with it. Hibari was helpless when his feet flew out from under him and he was crushed into Dino's chest, arms bound to his sides too tight to move, the rest of him crushed against the Cavallone boss. "That wasn't very nice," Dino said, and Hibari struggled, blind with rage and hot with shame all over his body. If Dino had attacked, everything would have been fine. Dino hadn't even raised a hand against him. As it was, the herbivore had captured him completely, beaten him completely, and left him so utterly humiliated he couldn't see straight. Hibari Kyouya did not get humiliated! It didn't happen!

And… he didn't know how to deal with it!

"Let's not fight," Dino said gently, whispering into Hibari's ear, and Hibari, being completely immobile, could do nothing against it. He dropped his head, refusing to let Dino see whatever panicked expressions were flowing over it, still fighting against the arms trapping him in place. "Please, can't we just—" Dino broke off before Hibari head-butted him in the chin as he was about to unless Dino SHUT UP, and when he spoke again, he was worried. "Your heart is beating so fast! Are you alright? Do you need—?"

Hibari tuned Dino out before he could feel any worse. His stomach had already dropped out from under him at those words. His body had betrayed him. His skills had abandoned him. Dino was going to kill him any second now. What Cavallone was observing—Hibari didn't even want to know—was to obvious and the herbivore had apparently run out of blessings because he asked in a hushed, wondering voice, "…Kyouya, are you blushing?"

Blushing.

So that was the heat crawling all over Hibari's skin like insects.

Hibari's heart stuttered, threatening to give out. It squeezed as though Dino's words were a fist around it.

Hibari clamped his jaw shut, silent as the grave and fought against Dino with all he had, but Dino finally turned his head towards him, seeing Hibari at his very lowest and watching it as though it was the most fascinating television show on the planet. He looked very unintelligent. Hibari glared at him for all he was worth, but the fear and confusion kept threatening to break through and the heat just wouldn't die down, nor would the trembling of his heart, and the more Dino looked at him the more the feeling intensified.

But Dino simply couldn't take his eyes off Hibari.

At all times Dino was both very aware and very unaware of Hibari's age at all times. He constantly found himself faced with the fact that Hibari did not have many experiences and did not understand things like lust or greed as well as some of Dino's adult counterparts. But Hibari was also mature for any age at all. And sometimes Dino found himself forgetting that this wild, fearless creature that stood so far apart from the rest of the world that to touch him was sacred—that to be near him was a privilege—was in truth a middle school kid with all the same insecurities and quiet fears as all the rest of his peers as they faced the future and adolescence. No matter how beautiful Hibari was in the midst of his wars, seeing him as a human was a thousand times more so. And Dino could not, even a little, look away.

He smiled once again, a softer smile, filled with his affection for his dear, stubborn student, and bent his head to that flushed ear. "Kyouya," he called softly, feeling Hibari's heart speed up against his chest. He chuckled softly at the feeling. Like a little bird flapping its wings! "Your voice is so beautiful."

Dino felt the heart against his speed up again.

And Hibari absolutely thrashed. He mustered all of the strength in his small body and flailed against Dino's grip like a mad thing. Dino had the advantage, though, and Hibari stayed where he was so that Dino could add, "The most beautiful that I have ever heard." Hibari's body twisted like his whip and he clung even tighter. "An angel's… really…!"

"This does not concern me," Hibari growled, managing to sound as though he had some modicum of self-control left while he was flushed, out of breath, and at the mercy of his rival. His heart was beating so quickly Dino was beginning to be afraid for him. "I do not care to hear it. Release me at once!"

Dino shook his head immediately, and he heard Hibari make a noise in his throat like a muffled scream. Not a cry for help, of course, but a sound that promised that if Dino did make the mistake of letting Hibari go at the moment, there would be hell to pay. Luckily, Dino had no intention of letting him off so easily.

For one, he was kind of scared that Hibari was going to hurt himself. This wasn't casual embarrassment. Hibari didn't really DO casual unless it was murder anyway. So Dino wasn't surprised that Hibari was losing it and he also wasn't stupid enough to let an upset Hibari out of his sight. Which left him the job of calming Hibari down. Which meant that he might die this afternoon, but lunch had been good, so Dino had no regrets.

Not to mention, for however brief a time, he'd been immersed in that perfect, flowing voice. His breath flew away at the remembrance, and his eyes drifted closed.

"So beautiful," Dino repeated firmly, swearing it into Hibari's hair. "You have nothing to feel ashamed of, you know. You should sing forever."

"I am not ashamed of anything," Hibari retorted, and Dino had to avoid both a head-butt and a stomp to his instep. But at the same time, Hibari's beating heart told Dino the truth. Dino carefully reserved this knowledge for further use at a time when it might not literally kill Hibari to hear such puns. "Now, let me go!"

Dino smiled, nuzzling against his student's downy hair. "That's another thing I cannot do," he told his student half as a joke and mostly as a promise. "I will never let go of you, Kyouya."

"That's nothing I want to be hearing from you," Hibari snarled back, now snapping at Dino with his teeth until Dino's head crushed his down and forced it to rest on Dino's shoulder. Hibari's voice rose perilously. "Let me go!"

"You can't stop singing because of this," Dino said, and Hibari ached to scream at him to stop giving him commands, ached to tear his head off his shoulders without a thought to the consequences, but was bound still. Dino's voice had taken on a soothing quality that dripped through Hibari like syrup. "Your voice was so beautiful that it breaks my heart... So beautiful that I couldn't see anything anymore…"

Hibari ceased his struggles, purely because that was so ridiculous he couldn't even take it seriously. Dino's amazing stupidity struck him senseless again. And somehow, Dino had managed not to become decently embarrassed, and continued to open his mouth.

"Your voice is so amazing." Dino's lips parted again and Hibari felt it coming more than anything else, and was still frozen as it sounded through the air like a gunshot. "Divo..."

And Hibari was defeated by that word, the word he'd sworn to keep from crossing the Italian's insufferable lips. He'd lost. That was it. He would never recover. His body turned to stone and his heart came to a stop.

Dino spoke again. "Vedette," he continued gently, a hand smoothing back Hibari's hair, voice the only thing inside of Hibari at the moment. "Anything. But beautiful, above all else."

Nothing.

And then Hibari realized his heart was still beating.

This was not quite so painful as he'd expected. The… anticipation it had evoked had been considerably less pleasant. This was merely another defeat that he would return with a thousand victories, nothing concrete about it. The fact that he'd been so thoroughly convinced of such melodrama was also deeply embarrassing, but somehow the fact that he wasn't dead made up for that. Hibari hung in Dino's arms limply, assessing this, processing this, trying to make sense of this. Dino was silent, perhaps (rightfully) worried about Hibari's sudden compliance. When a voice finally broke the silence, it was Hibari's own.

"…If you try to tell me that this is my life's calling and that I must sing for the world," Hibari said carefully, relieved to no end to hear his actual voice without that trace of panic. Although this had ceased to be one of his most pressing concerns, his heartbeat was communicating this to Dino as well. "I will bite you to the bone and leave not a trace behind."

To Hibari's surprise, however, Dino didn't argue with him. This was unusual since Dino's behavior had been brought on by his annoying tendencies, which dictated that he had to argue with all things that made sense (Dino's actions had had nothing to do with wanting to prevent him from having a heart attack—Hibari was well aware of this and would hear nothing different lest tonfas snap bones). Yes, homicidal urges were beginning to return to normal levels—that was very good. Cavallone's grip loosened, cradling Hibari more than anything else. Cradling him, Hibari realized, rather possessively. As though Hibari's mental breakdown somehow gave him privileges with Hibari's person. And Hibari wasn't too thrilled about this cradling concept in general either.

His tonfas were still in his hands, he remembered. This was getting better.

"No," Dino said in the meantime, every bit as possessive as his hands, a twinkle of mischief in his tone now. He looked briefly into Hibari's eyes, smirking devilishly. "Sing only for me," he demanded as softly as the wind on Hibari's face. Hibari blinked against those eyes, head spinning a little bit for reasons that meant that the drug had yet to wear off. His voice wouldn't work to deliver the acerbic retort that Dino deserved, and so he allowed it when Dino murmured against his ear—which was suddenly not humiliating but still deeply uncomfortable and Hibari felt unequivocally strange— "Sing for me again, Kyouya."

And then, strangely enough, now that Hibari was no longer battling that disgraceful fear, a shiver ran up his body and escaping Dino's arms became terribly important. However, Hibari didn't fight at all, and Dino's head dipped down to his other ear. "Please. Kyouya. I want to hear you…"

Hibari's heart stumbled in his chest.

"Ah," Hibari managed, turning his head away only to have Dino tilt it right back so that they were once more eye to eye, foreheads practically touching. Dino's eyes were no longer misty, but now glowed with a kind of intensity that made Hibari think he was facing some great enemy. For the second time in his life, though, he didn't know how to fight it.

"Sing for me," Dino said, voice caught between them like thread. "Sing for me until I can hear only you…" He leaned still closer. Hibari waited for him to swerve to abuse his ears again, but Dino remained on track and Hibari did little more than blink in puzzlement as Dino kissed him briefly against the mouth, pulling back to ask again and whisper Hibari's name; "Kyouya, please, Kyouya—", punctuating it with a kiss that lasted a second longer each time before hastily pulling away and then returning as though Dino couldn't resist Hibari's mouth. Hibari really didn't know what to do in this situation either.

So he clocked Dino over the head with a tonfa.

Dino slumped to the ground, completely stunned, and Hibari disentangled himself calmly. "You were of assistance before," Hibari declared, having just decided it was so, however intentional that assistance may have been. Hibari now understood how to fight against this new enemy and would not fail to defeat it again, which he had Dino to thank for. Grudgingly. "So, I will not kill you."

Dino mumbled something that might have been taken for 'thanks', a cry for help, or a sob. Hibari did not care at present. He hauled Dino closer by the shirt collar and glared into his eyes. "However, I will never stand for you to disobey me again. And I am confiscating your phone." Dino nodded clumsily in reply, still not at the speaking stage after a tonfa had connected with his skull at that velocity, and Hibari nodded back, dropping Dino back against the floor and marching downstairs without another word. Dino sat up after a time, head splitting and pride more than a little hurt. For one thing, Hibari hadn't enjoyed the kiss (as Dino was used to nothing but compliments in that area, it was a pretty severe let down) and there was the fact that Dino liked to think he had more self-control than a middle school kid having a panic attack. However, those kisses had been losing their chastity pretty fast. So, Hibari was ruled by inexperience and Dino was ruled by general stupidity. This was wonderful.

He wasn't dead, though. That was a plus.

Plus lunch had been good.

Live to listen another day?

Footsteps alerted him to another's approach and Dino looked up, expecting to find Romario to help him off the floor or maybe one of Hibari's thugs to beat him up. He sighed, not really wanting to deal with anyone right now, and found himself hauled up by the collar again. He caught a flash of the head thug himself, bathed in sunlight and a fierce scowl, and then Hibari kissed him on the lips, as slow and soft as ever. The only difference was, where Dino pulled back before he could lose whatever control he had left, Hibari made this one linger until Dino was half insane and still too scared to do anything other than let it happen. Hibari pulled back looking pleased, amused, and deadly.

And offered absolutely no explanation.

"See you tomorrow, Cavallone," he said, and then he was gone again.

Dino stared at where he had been. Perhaps this was the product of the concussion he probably had. Failing that, Hibari apparently was unaware of the fact that Dino's flight was leaving this afternoon, so he wouldn't be here tomorrow… And Dino's hand was already reaching for his phone to cancel that flight until further notice because LIKE HELL he was missing tomorrow.

Unfortunately, Hibari had taken Dino's phone, audio tape of Hibari's voice and all.

…Dino was pretty sure he was going to have a heart attack now.