This is just what I think Coulmier was thinking after Madeline died.

Madeleine. O my dearest Madeleine you were my reason to live, you were why I am who I am now. Now all I have are memories. The memories of you walking down the hall saving "you lines please". The way you laughed it always brightened up my day. Only if I didn't lie to you when I told you how I felt for you. If only I could tell you what is eating me up inside. Maybe if I had you wouldn't have gone to the Marquis. Maybe you still would have been alive; hear at Charanton alive hear with me.