Kingsman / Skyfall – Martinis & Tea For All
Harry is not too keen on introducing Eggsy to 007
Don't get Harry wrong, he wanted his one time protégé Eggsy to succeed in absolutely every possible way in the world, he wanted the sweet boy to be the best Kingsman agent that had ever existed, he wanted him to be the best brother and son he could be (that he wished to be), he wanted him to be his absolute best self.
Meeting one James Bond, MI6's very own infamous, flighty, flirty, destructive, alcoholic, promiscuous, suave and utterly infuriating Double–O Seven agent? Definitely not on Harry's list of things that could in any way assist Eggsy in achieving his goals (and Harry's) by anyone's definition, Merlin's guffaws at his friend's statement notwithstanding (bastard).
See, a Kingsman agent and a British intelligence agent, more specifically an MI6 agent, had many a things in common. Impeccable suits, smooth manners, a frightening skill with hand to hand combat and any kind of deadly weapon, the ability to disappear in an empty street and stand out in a crowd of a thousand people wearing the same clothes as them, and so on. MI6 frequently tried to poach Kingsman agents, but loyalty to their agencies was a highly demanded commodity, to it very rarely ever worked. Regardless, Harry was no stranger to the other agency, and he knew Eggsy would have to come in contact with its agents at some point in his Kingsman career.
That, however, should not have to involve James Bond, in Harry's blunt opinion.
Sure, the man was all that was bad in a good agent, but he was also one of the oldest serving agents at MI6 (a feat, since their turnover was ridiculous, by his standards) and despite his rather colorful way of going about his missions, the fact was that he got the job done, one way or another. Even Eggsy wasn't as bold as 007, and that was saying something. All things considered, no, bloody hell NO, Merlin, Harry did NOT have to introduce Eggsy to 007, couldn't they just pick another Double–O? Or wait for Bond to die from a stray bullet, exotic STD, fast acting cirrhosis?
One look from Merlin was enough to make Harry sigh.
Damnit, he was Arthur now, that should afford him some say in these things. Not with his old friend, apparently.
Sigh.
Such was the reason for Harry and Eggsy's presence inside M's office. Mallory and Harry were old casual acquaintances, and he latter was glad they were now in equal footing. As much as he liked the previous M (remarkable woman, that one), he at least knew Mallory in a more personal way and could speak to him as an equal (he doubted the other M would ever have looked at him like Arthur – she could barely even stand the former Arthur!), which would certainly help when Bond came into play.
He shot Eggsy a quick look, hoping the boy would not pick up on Bond's terrible habits, he had spent far too much time and effort molding him into the perfect kind of gentleman, the perfect kind of Kingsman agent, for 007 to come and fuck that up. He knew Bond, he was a little shit, and if sunk his hooks into Eggsy's still fresh mind...
It was too horrible to even consider. Roxy (Lancelot, he should think of her as such) would kill him for one, and Merlin would laugh himself into the ground and then where would they be? Harry would be dead twice over, because Roxy would make sure to rise him from the dead just to kill him again for allowing Merlin to die of something as silly as simple laughter.
Clearly, she had never fucked up enough to get Merlin to crack up, once the man got started, there was little to be done in order to stop him.
"Forgive the delay, Arthur" – M said with a small frown – "I fear punctuality is not one of 007's many qualities"
"I am acquainted with him, and I recall this... Particular trait of his"
"'Tis why we don't use numbers?" – Eggsy questioned softly, his even accent the one he always used when he was Galahad.
Indeed, far too much work for Bond to mess up.
"Indeed"
"Our names are better" – something of the mischievous, daredevil delinquent Harry met what seemed like so long ago flashed in the young man's eyes, and even M cracked a tiny smile, Eggsy's youthful charms working on him without trouble.
A few more minutes tick by before the door opens and in comes James Bond.
He had aged very gracefully, blond hair only just starting to whiten, face still handsome and this side of irreverent at all times, figure still coiled and ready to attack, eyes still as sharp as the knives he was sure to be carrying on his person (just as Eggsy and Harry). Still, when he turned a smirk at Harry, he looked like the same bratty man he met for the first time even before he became a Double–O.
"Arthur, is it?" – he greeted after nodding at M – "Congratulations on your elevation. And who is this? Your secretary?" – he mocked lightly. Eggsy, sweet, dear boy, didn't even look at all upset about the dig.
"This is Galahad"
"Indeed? He looks very young, is he up to the task? Can't be easy to fill in your shoes"
"I am perfectly satisfied with his performance" – Bond's smirk deepened but Harry didn't take the bite.
"Enough, 007" – M chided in a voice reminiscent of Merlin when he was out of tea – "Arthur has been gracious enough to bring his agent in today" – he raised his eyebrows in quiet command, and Bond nodded.
"It is tradition for the Galahad agent to be MI6's liaison to Kingsman. Likewise" – he did not look Bond's way – "your 007 is the usual gateway into your agency"
"And I thank you for coming in yourself, Arthur, I highly appreciate the effort" – he threw Bond an annoyed look – "Are the contact protocols the same as before?"
"They remain the same, yes. Merlin will patch you through, your request will thus be filtered through and Galahad will respond, should a Kingsman agent's assistance be required"
"Are you quite on the previous Galahad's level?" – 007 asked, sending Eggsy a measuring look that made Harry feel insulted for them both – "He was very commendable"
"He still is" – Eggsy said, grinning patiently – "And suffice it to say, agent, I was recruited by the former Galahad, so that should be enough of a credential" – Harry could hug the boy, Bond looked so flabbergasted by the cool response.
A slight exaggeration, of course, 007 was a good agent, after all, but M's lip twitched in humor and Eggsy turned away from the blond agent with his Galahad mask in place, though the humor just beneath was impossible to hide where his eyes were concerned.
"Ballsy" – Bond finally declared – "I like him"
"You would" – M said under his breath then cleared his throat – "Well, I should think this enough of an introduction" – he stated.
"Thank you for your time, M" – Harry said, rising with Eggsy only a beat behind him – "I hope not to meet you again" – they shook heads and traded grins.
"Sadly, the world's worst aren't all dead yet, no matter your recent help in diminishing their numbers. Until next time, Arthur. Galahad" – Eggsy didn't extend his hand, nor did M.
"I will be seeing you, Galahad" – Bond murmured as he nodded at Harry and Eggsy just before they exited.
Right outside, M's assistant Moneypenny eyed them rather shrewdly.
"I hope he wasn't too much trouble" – she said almost absently – "He had been in such a terrible mood"
"I thought he was rather polite" – Eggsy then let some of his own personality shine through in his smirk – "For a rude, posh tosser" – that made the woman laugh.
"Good day, Ms. Moneypenny"
"Arthur, Galahad" – Eggsy uncharacteristically waved her goodbye.
"Bloody hell, she's gorgeous" – the boy whispered in awe when they were far away.
"She is"
"So, think I could get away with calling that guy an ass to his face?"
"As long as you keep it professional when it matters, Eggsy, absolutely not. He isn't a Kingsman agent, after all"
"He is the MI6 liaison, though"
"That hardly matters"
"You hate him, don't you?"
"That's such a harsh word"
"Want to blow up his head one day?"
"... Too extreme. He's not that annoying"
"Eh. Roxy would've eaten him for breakfast, you should've skipped tradition and let her come"
"Some traditions should be maintained whenever possible, Eggsy"
"You just didn't want M to blame you for his agent's blood on his carpet once Rox was done with him"
"I can neither confirm nor deny"
"Don't go CIA on me, Harry, that's shitty of you, you know I hate those guys"
"Sadly, Eggsy, even Kingsman must keep up appearances"
"Motherfucker"