Warning: Profanity, sensual references, underage drinking, etc.
Note: This collection is named after "Hey Girl" by Lady Gaga and Florence Welch.
A/N: Given that I love all the girls in the gang, I decided to create a collection of one-shots and drabbles that revolve around them in some way. Some might focus on all three of the girls, others might focus on one in particular, etc. Either way, expect a dose of Nikki, Jen, and/or Caitlin in each installment.
Unless it's stated otherwise, Nikki didn't move away because the events of "Bye Bye Nikki" never happened. I love neglecting the end of the show, lol. Also, this collection is meant to be platonic. If you want to interpret the interactions as romantic in some way, you can, but that's not my intention with this work.
Hope you enjoy this collection!
Jen burst through the bathroom door, scrambling for the toilet. She flung the lid back and released all her stomach contents. Her arms cradled the cold porcelain of the toilet bowl for support as she hurled both her dinner and the results of her poor decisions. To make matters worse, her head spun around and around and around.
Her equilibrium, digestive system, and pain receptors were rebelling against her, telling her that she wasn't made to drink alcohol tonight… or anytime ever in her life.
Keep up the good life choices, Jennifer, she chided herself as she wondered what was so great about getting drunk. What even were the benefits of this again?
In search of an answer, her groggy mind revisited the lighter and happier moments from tonight, from when she'd walked the thin line between "buzzed" and "inebriated."
When she tried taking shots while Nikki took a couple hits from somebody's blunt. When she and Caitlin danced to their heart's desire, dropping it like it's hot and shouting the wrong lyrics to popular songs. When a handsome stranger—who resembled her old flame Travis—stole her away from Caitlin, flirting with Jen as he danced with her. When she and said handsome stranger made out in the corner of the party, shoving tongues down each other's throats like there was no tomorrow.
As she heard the bathroom door close and felt someone gently pull her hair back, saving it from being puked on, she groaned. When she looked up (and squinted due to her doubled vision), she found Nikki kneeling beside her and holding her hair. Caitlin stood next to Nikki, being there in case Jen needed moral support.
She whined, her voice weary. "I can't believe I made out with some stranger. And got drunk. And got drunk and made out with a stranger in front of people." What if the rest of the student body caught wind of their class president getting groped by her ex's doppelganger? What would they think of her? She wanted to find the nearest ditch so she could climb in it and take a dirt nap. "I'm so stupid."
The music outside the bathroom door had her head thumping hard. She further regretted trying to drink more jungle juice than Caitlin, regretted the shots of cheap vodka with Nikki. She overdid everything.
"Jen, you're not stupid," Caitlin's sweet voice comforted her.
Did Caitlin miss everything she just said? "But I got drunk and made out with some— some random! That's not smart!" she sobbed before dry-heaving.
Nikki continued to hold her hair back while Caitlin walked over and rubbed her back.
After the last bouts of nausea subsided, Jen sat on the tile of the bathroom floor, lamenting this night even further. She was supposed to be the responsible one, the sober one, the together one. "I've never been so stumb… Shit, I mean stupid. See what I mean?"
Nikki tried to get rid of the worries clouding her drunken friend's mind. "Jen, calm down. No one's first time being drunk is fun. And neither is any time after that."
Caitlin nodded. "Yeah, being drunk isn't fun for anyone, especially not the throwing up and stuff. You're definitely not alone in this."
Nikki smirked as she recalled her first tango with tequila. "If it makes you feel any better, the first time I got trashed was at a party with Jonesy and Jude. I was crawling on the damn floor before passing out. Both of them had to carry me to the car. Not my finest moment."
Caitlin giggled, hiding her grinning lips behind her hand. "OMG, that's so bad!"
"Like your first time getting drunk was smooth-sailing, Blondie," Nikki teased.
"Oh, It wasn't." She sighed before carrying on, reliving that night's mortification. "I was around this really hot guy and I remember laughing at every joke he told just so he'd like me. Then I laughed so hard at this one joke that I spilled my whole drink on him." She pressed her palm against her face in shame.
"Yikes," Nikki replied before turning her attention to Jen. "See what we mean? Getting hammered is supposed to suck. It's some sort of fucked-up rite of passage."
"Why do you two even bother drinking if this happens?" Jen asked.
"Because it makes me feel all light and free. I just get really happy and giddy and the world feels so much brighter," Caitlin said.
"I just like the way it feels overall," Nikki said, shrugging her shoulders. "Besides, it's not drinking in general that's the problem. It's how much you drink."
Caitlin added, "Yeah, there's definitely limits."
Nikki snorted. "Like with your credit card."
She pouted.
"What? Couldn't resist that one."
Jen groaned. There was so many issues involved with alcohol. What to drink. How much to drink. When to stop drinking. She shut her eyes tightly and put a palm on her forehead. "Ugh, I'm never gonna drink again."
"Whatever works for you," Nikki said.
"So," Caitlin started, "are you ready to go home?"
"Yeah, but I don't wanna be a big"—Jen searched for the right word—"party pooper." (It didn't exactly sound right, but she settled upon it anyways.) Just because she put a damper on her own night didn't mean she wanted to do that to them.
Nikki and Caitlin exchanged glances.
"I've already had my fun for tonight," Nikki said.
Caitlin nodded. "Same. If you wanna leave, I can definitely get us an Uber."
Jen rested her hand on her leg, opening her light-sensitive eyes again. "Okay," she croaked.
Caitlin grabbed her smartphone from her pink clutch and requested the Uber. "Our driver should be on her way."
"'Kay." Jen attempted to stand up, but her body rebelled against her. Her legs felt like spaghetti noodles. Caitlin and Nikki rushed towards her, propping her to her feet and walking with her, keeping her steady.
As they stepped outside the bathroom and back into the chaos of the party, Jen realized how dry her mouth had gotten. "Can we stop for some water on the way home?"
"Dry mouth?" Nikki asked.
"As dry as the Saharara… Sahari... Sahara."
Caitlin smiled. "Yeah, we'll definitely stop for some water."
"Ugh, thanks. I hate this feeling." She paused for a beat, growing curious. "Is weed any better than liquor, Nik?"
"Let's have save that convo for another day. Besides, you might want Jude there for that one."
"True."