Disclaimers: I do not own Dragon Age it belongs to the awesome Bioware and their awesome team of writers!
Spoilers: Beginning of Mage Origin, Ties in to my other story The Path of the Mage, possibly Stolen Throne and The Calling
Author's Note: I've had this Song by The Cranberries in my head for aaaages and i thought i'd try my hand at dong a oneshot with reference to my character Amilia Amell. Please check out the song in both versions One is the Original by The Cranberries, Zombie and the other version is by a band called Breed 77. I changed the words a bit in the second verse as I wanted to tie it in to what i was trying to say. This song is one of my ultimate favourites of all time. I just wanted to try and show that Ami believed the templar's to be mindless zombies following their duty and she wanted Cullen to see that. This is mainly from Cullen POV. First time i've done this so please R&R thanks!
Oneshot: Zombie
He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe she would be so stupid as to help him.
Jowan. The apprentice. Her best friend. The blood mage.
A blood mage, she had helped a blood mage escape the tower and now she was standing there with that fierce look in her eye glowering at Greagoir. The Knight-Commander is not impressed. Cullen can see that he is resisting the urge to pull his sword of mercy out and slay her right there but his hands are twitching. Cullen swallows and he hears, vaguely, that it was Irving's idea and orders she was following but they are distant and muffled under the two raging voices of hurt and anger that are shouting in his head.
She helped a Blood Mage. She helped him destroy his phylactery and hurt a number of Templar's including herself and the First Enchanter. What was she thinking?
The other voice shouts at him telling him she was probably tricked into helping him. Ami would never do something that stupid and reckless. Then he remembers what she is, a mage and mages stick together, those two especially. The two trouble makers of the tower, Jowan and Ami. One always covered for the other but that had changed in recent months. Jowan had been distant and Cullen had found Ami most days alone and talkative in the Upper Library. They had shared stories and jokes and he thought because he didn't really know her that well, they had developed a little trust between each other.
Since he had first met the little blonde mage he had watched out for her and the dark haired blood mage. Rarely apart but often enough that the rumours of a possible attraction between the two mages had been going around. These rumours had been successfully quashed, quite insistently, by Ami, who had openly laughed in hysterics at the very notion of being with Jowan in that way. Cullen had felt relief but he would never admit it, not to himself and especially not to her. He was already a stuttering fool when they spoke. His attraction to the mage was already causing him enough grief with his brothers and Greagoir. The Knight-Commander had already given him a lecture about his duty, it was to watch the mages not stare and day dream he had said. But now they all knew why Jowan had been distant. He glowers at the initiate Lily. How could she have been so stupid to fall for his charms? But Lily isn't looking at anyone; she just looks at the floor, her heart broken and all Cullen can now feel is sympathy. It's the mages that have done this to them, he thinks but as he looks up to try and understand Ami's action all he see's is Greagoir back handing her and she falls to the ground.
Shocked, Cullen looks to the Knight-Commander who has remained stoic and unflinching the only appearance of his rage in his voice as he bellows at her. A muffled cry comes from her lips as an indication of how much force Greagoir had struck her and Cullen looks away not wanting to see her in pain.
"Bastard," she coughs, spitting out a little blood from her mouth. "I didn't know he was a Blood Mage! You think I would've helped him if I knew!" she screams at Greagoir as she rises unsteadily to her feet. She glowers between him and Irving with the hatred that Cullen knows the majority of the mages feel towards the Knight-Commander. "I would've told Irving to shove his plan and we come straight to you!"
That surprises Cullen a little but then he see's the dying look in her eye. She has been betrayed he thinks by her best friend, a person she trusted most in the world. He wants to comfort her but how can he? So he swallows the feeling and watches as the situation unfolds before him.
Irving is pleading with Greagoir but the senior templar is entertaining none of the First Enchanter's excuses for the newly harrowed mage. He is furious and doesn't believe she would easily betray her fellow mage. The look of disgust on Ami's face is enough to put Cullen off his evening meal as she takes a step forward and screams in his face.
"If you had done your job!" she screams, instigating even more rage from Greagoir as he steps forward, inches from her face. She continues, un-phased by how close the man is. "This wouldn't have happened. If you and your bloody Chantry would give the mages more freedom perhaps he wouldn't have wanted to escape. Perhaps, if you weren't going to make him tranquil he wouldn't have had this insane idea or turned to blood magic in the first place!"
Greagoir lifts his hand to slap her again but Ami is ready for it this time. As his hand falls she grabs it, twists it then turns into him and pulls him over her shoulder where he lands on the towers floor on his back. There's a loud and almost deafening crack and clang as plate metal crashes on the floor. Greagoir's patience has worn completely out now and there is no hesitation when he launches into a templar stance quicker than Cullen has ever seen and drains the two mages of their powers.
Cullen watches as the mages slump to the ground. Ami is picked up between two of his brothers and is held in place as Greagoir marches up to her. His face is red with fury and Cullen notices that even the vein on his forehead is pulsing. He prays the man won't collapse if it pops suddenly. The Knight-Commander is sweating profusely, his teeth clenched and Cullen knows it's not going to take much more for him to just order the templar's to just take her out, run a sword through her and that be the end of it. But Greagoir isn't like that. Instead he doesn't get the chance to speak as everyone stills at the sound of the beginnings of mournful laughter - if there was such a thing. It begins slowly, little gasps of giggling and then snorts and finally into a full belly rolling laughter. Cullen is concerned but the looks that the templar's and the First Enchanter are giving each other means that they are just as confused about the sudden hilarity of the situation.
Ami lifts her head finally up to look at Greagoir after the giggling subsides. Her eyes are dark and wide but set with a knowing and confident look. Cullen can see that there is a torrent of bubbling anger in them and he knows what she's going to say is something profound and is going to end up with Greagoir running her through.
"You think you are all doing the Maker's work?" she begins quietly. "You think that you are following the orders of someone who knows what is right and wrong, what is pure and cursed?" Cullen watches as she straightens herself whilst held in the two templar's grasp. "You know nothing!"
Just inches from Greagoir's face Cullen watches as she searches the older man's features through his eyes.
"You have never been anything but a Zombie, a mindless solider, following the orders of some fat miscreant zealot who wouldn't know evil if it buttered itself up and called itself Andraste!"
Cullen winches as Greagoir slaps her again with his gauntleted hand but he watches as Ami just grits her teeth and then smiles.
"At least I know I'm doing what I believe is right. You just follow orders without question, what use would you be if you questioned your masters?" Ami narrows her eyes at him, daring him to strike her down. "Tell me Greagoir have you never thought you were wrong about a mage's innocence? Ever thought that we are more than just conduits for demons? Ever thought you could love a mage?"
The word love sparks a reaction from Cullen and he looks at her then but Greagoir has had enough and this time punches her. Cullen stiffens and his heart begins to batter at his chest more fervently. Ami spits out another bit of blood and looks up. She casts a heartbroken glance at Cullen and he knows then. He knows it wasn't just him that was watching because she was watching him too. His heart fills with anguish and understanding at her actions but he swallows it and turns away again. When he looks back a tear has crept down and marked her cheek and she is standing again facing Greagoir with a defiant look but with a reserved composure. But Greagoir isn't finished yet.
"Take her to the Dungeons; let's see how she fair's after a few lashings!"
"You can't do that Greagoir!" Irving bellows, outraged at the treatment of his student.
"I am the Knight-Commander; it is up to me to decide on her punishment!"
Without another word the two templar's leave escorting the mage away. Ami says nothing, her face the epitome of calm but Cullen catches her eyes and they are filled with nothing but pain and above all sadness. Cullen feels his heart breaking and struggles to keep his breathing in check as he watches them take her away. He barely notices the Knight-Commander stop next to him.
"Make sure she is secured Cullen."
He gives a brief nod and leaves to follow after them, slowly. He doesn't want to see the punishment.
As he descends the stairs to the dungeons he is gripped by the sudden mournful tune of someone singing in-between the lashes of the whip. He swallows and steps forward seeing the small figure, now chained against the wall with her back to him as the two templar's take turns lashing her.
"Another head hangs lowly
Child is slowly taken"
Crack and he watches as her shoulders shake.
"And the violence causes silence
Who are we mistaken?"
Another whip slash and he see's it split her robes further.
"May you see, that it's not me,
It's not my family
In your head in your head
They are fighting."
The next whip slash makes her knee's buckle and she shakes.
"With their tanks and their bombs
And their bombs and their guns
In your head, in your head
They are crying"
Another crack and Cullen watches as she braces herself against the wall. Her voice becomes shaky but she emphasises each word.
"It's in your head, in your head,
Zombie, Zombie, Zombie
What's in your head, in your head,
Zombie, Zombie, Zombie"
Another whip and Cullen is beginning to loose it as now she starts to sob out the words. He clenches his fists at his side and tries to look away but her haunting voice demands his attention.
"Another mother's breaking
Heart is taking over
When the violence causes silence
We must be mistaken."
Cullen stops it then and tells them to leave his own heart breaking at the misery she is suffering. As they leave Ami's voice carries on and Cullen listens.
"It's the same thing they've done
Since we were young
In your head, in your head
They're still fighting"
He looks at her then. She now sits on her knee's facing the wall, her hands chained in front of her with magic warding manacles. Her robes at the back, from the neck down to her waist are shredded and her back exposed. As Cullen looks he see's the interlocking lines of the whips marks down her back and feels sick. It takes everything he has to stop his breakfast coming up at the sight of her milky skin marred by the blood red lines. Her voice shakes but no words come out as she heaves in a deep breath through the sobs of pain.
"Why?" he croaks out finally. "Why didn't you tell me?"
She cranes her head around to look at him over her shoulder with a haunted look in her eyes. When he sees her face and the pain reflected in it he curses Greagoir openly and is rewarded with a fleeting smile.
"I, we." She sighs and gives him a meaningful look then looked back to the wall. "What would have changed?"
And Cullen knows what she means. Nothing would have changed that much is certain. They couldn't have guaranteed that the other felt the same, or worse, they could've been caught. Like Jowan and Lily.
"Is that why you, why you betrayed them?"
A hollow and unsure laugh escapes her then and she lifts her head to look at the ceiling above her.
"I don't know. I-I think I was more scared than anything else."
"Scared?"
She gives him another meaningful look. "Seriously? You don't think that Greagoir and Irving already knew before I told Irving about it?" Cullen shakes his head and Ami offered a chuckle in return. "I wish I had your outlook on people Cullen. But no. I knew Greagoir would know, Irving did, so there was no doubt after that, that he knew."
"What about the Blood magic?"
Ami scowled at him and stood to fully turned and face him then. "You really think I knew about that?"
The fierce look in her eye that Cullen had saw her give Greagoir had returned and he shrank back shaking his head.
"No," she spat. "I didn't know about that. Though maker's ass I should have noticed it."
She kicks a nearby bucket away as she paces the small damp cell. Then the clanking of plate boots rings in the air and Cullen looks to the door of the cell. Greagoir marches through and Cullen watches as Ami shrinks back into the cells far corner. Greagoir doesn't have to answer to Irving down here, this is Chantry business and Cullen is slightly fearful that the Knight-Commander might go too far. Greagoir pulls her along side him by her hair and drags her out to one of the other rooms but he tells Cullen to stay put and watch just in case someone needs him. Cullen doesn't want to but he can't exactly say to Greagoir, I don't want to leave just in case you go too far because she just showed you up in front of three of your templar's and the first enchanter whilst letting a blood mage escape. It would come out wrong, for one thing and all in one breath so he would have to say it again. Or then again it might not come out at all because of this ridiculous stutter that he has at the moment.
Cullen knows what's in that room however. It is the chamber where maleficars and apostates are held and information gathered from them. He shivers as Ami gives him a fearful look as Greagoir drags her into the room closing the door behind him with a thud. Cullen closes his eyes and takes a deep breath letting it out slowly.
A few moments later the screams that come from the small room is enough to drive Cullen into the room and take out the Knight-Commander himself but fear and grief stop him. He feels himself shaking and it makes his armour rattle a bit. He's brought out of his indecision by the sounds of footsteps coming towards him and looks up to meet the eyes of the Grey Warden, Duncan. Another scream rings out and Cullen jerks his head back to look at the chamber door when he turns back Duncan is reading his grim expression and nods.
"I can save her from this but you must let me in," he says softly.
Cullen nods his mouth unable to form a sentence because of the amount of shame and remorse he is feeling at that moment. He calmly reaches for the door, knocks and without thinking enters and announces the Warden. The sight that greets him is a grizzly one. Ami is sat backwards in a chair with her hands bound in front of her over its back. The Knight-Commander looks at Cullen and frowns but the frown quickly changes to a look of dark foreboding when Duncan comes in behind him. It takes a moment until Cullen sees the red hot poker in the senior templar's hands and before thinking he shouts at Greagoir.
"What in Andraste's name are you doing?"
Greagoir shoots him a dark look and he snaps his mouth shut. Obviously Greagoir thought he was punishing an accomplice to a blood mage and taking far too much enjoyment in it. Duncan is soon followed in by Irving who runs to her side and removes her manacles. He glares at Greagoir with so much venom that Cullen thinks the Knight-Commander should be treated for it but Greagoir doesn't seem to notice and demands to know why the Warden is here.
Cullen desperately wants to see that Ami is alright but when he catches a glimpse of her legs he knows she isn't. Greagoir had burned her with the poker and if the hatred that is rolling off her in waves were to give any indication of what she thought of the man Cullen was going to confidently say she wanted him dead.
But it doesn't matter in the end because Duncan invokes the Wardens Right of Conscription and says that Greagoir cannot do anything to stop him. As the warden falls in at Ami's side she looks at the Warden with relief and thanks but Cullen knows her well enough that there is a hint of regret and sadness to be leaving, even after Greagoir's murderous crimes against her. She gives Cullen a regretful and sad look and mouth's 'thank you' before being escorted out of the dungeon by Irving and Cullen.
The next time he hears news of the Grey Wardens, Ostagar has fallen. The King lies dead, the army dead and the Grey Wardens, all are dead he is told. Cullen's heart is heavy and sore from grief but there is a new feeling in the tower, one that doesn't bode well for him or the Knight-Commander.