The World Has Gone Crazy

Patrick Jane didn't like to be the one not in the know, he liked to know why people were doing what they were doing, he liked to be the man with all the information, all the facts, and today he wasn't that man. Today the world had been turned upside down, today the woman of the California were acting extremely strange.

It had all started that fateful Tuesday morning when Jane woke up, he had actually slept at home for a change rather than on the CBI couch so he got up, put a fresh 3 piece suit on, had some lovely citrus tea and some toast and left for work in a surprisingly glorious mood. Jane had reached his car when he first noticed the signs of strange and peculiar things happening.

The woman who lived in the flat above him was chatting to the woman who lived in the flat below him, they were too far away to hear what was being said and Jane unfortunately couldn't lip-sync, note-to-self: learn to lip-sync. These two women seemed incredibly excited and were gushing over something but they were gossips at the best of times so the behaviour didn't surprise Jane as much as it otherwise might have done. He got in his car and drove to work as if it was any other day because at that point to him it was just any other day.

Jane was too lost in his thoughts of the CBI and Lisbon and murder to notice the strange things going on as he drove through Sacramento, the women on the streets everywhere exchanging information and laughing and giggling and gossiping.

When Jane reached the car park of the CBI he parked his lovely blue machine, stepped into the sunshine and sighed, ready for another day of solving murders. He smiled at the security guard as he walked by and couldn't help but notice that the man looked exasperated, much more exasperated than normal. Perhaps he had been on nightshift the night before Jane pondered as he passed yet another gaggle of women talking excitedly.

This made him wonder for a moment but he assumed it was a coincidence, maybe some big celebrity had gotten married today. Maybe Angelina Jolie had adopted another African baby, that got people in a fit. Maybe a naked picture of Brad Pitt had been released, or Simon Baker, everyone loved that Australian guy at the moment.

Regardless of the strange behaviour Jane made his way into the CBI where everything seemed normal, the receptionist greeted him a lot more enthusiastically than she usually did but perhaps she was just in a good mood today, maybe she'd had a hot date last night, then again, a hot date, on a Monday night...Well, you never know.

Jane got into the elevator which was empty as he rode it to the Serious Crimes Unit floor. He stepped out of the elevator to see that the bullpen was clear of females which was odd, usually they outnumbered the men as he, Cho and Rigsby often joked.

"Morning." Jane said brightly as he sat himself down on the couch that he loved so much and got comfortable, "Ah." He sighed happily, today was a very good today, he had a feeling that good things were going to happen today.

"You're in a good mood today." Cho commented from where he sat at his desk looking at Jane suspiciously.

The Mentalist smiled, "I woke up feeling refreshed this morning. I feel today is going to be a very good day."

"Try a very weird day." Rigsby said, "The women are acting so weird today. Sara was really happy this morning, like way happy, and I don't think it was anything I did."

Cho snorted in amusement at the comment and Rigsby glared at him, "Hey shut up man."

"I did happen to notice the gaggles of women." Jane said thoughtfully, "Has anyone read a paper this morning?"

"Nope." Both men replied and Jane merely hmm-ed. What on Earth could cause so many women to start acting so strange? Maybe the guy from Twilight that everybody loved was in Sacramento today, or maybe the Queen was coming to visit. Who knew what women got excited about anyway?

"Where are the women?" Jane asked, having a thought, he hadn't see Grace or Lisbon yet today.

"Not here yet." Rigsby said, glancing at the clock.

"Not here yet?" Jane asked in surprise, "Lisbon, an hour late!" He couldn't believe his ears; if this event had even affected Lisbon it must be global. Jane was just thinking that he couldn't wait for Lisbon to come into work so he could grill her when the lift doors opened and Lisbon entered with Grace.

Before Jane could ask Lisbon anything he was knocked off his feet, not literally because he was sitting down, by her strange behaviour. Lisbon was happy, which wasn't strange, she was happy sometimes, it was rare but it did happen. No, she was overly happy, she was giggling and Grace was giggling which didn't surprise Jane as much but they were giggling together and whispering and generally acting like teenage girls. Jane briefly wondered if he was in some strange perverted nightmare then shook the thought out of his head, no he was definitely awake and this was definitely happening.

"Lisbon..." Jane said slowly as the woman entered the bullpen.

"Morning Jane!" Lisbon said brightly with a huge grin as she flopped onto his couch and kissed him on the cheek.

Jane paused, his mouth in the shape of an 'o' as he floundered and tried to remember what on Earth he had wanted to say, Lisbon had just kissed him, wow, had that really happened? After another moment of saying to himself 'no Jane you are not sleeping' he managed to find his words.

"You're very happy this morning." Jane said and Lisbon nodded, "Yes! Who wouldn't be?"

Grace was also grinning and Cho and Rigsby looked equally freaked out, were women becoming possessed and were they going to take over the world? It was like a zombie apocalypse only the zombies were attractive, they were doomed!

"Why is everyone so happy today?" Rigsby asked the two women with a frown, "What happened?"

"You don't know!" Grace squealed, "Oh my gosh, it was amazing and beautiful!" She said.

"It was wonderfully perfect." Lisbon swooned and Jane frowned between the two women, "Are you two together?" He asked, completely confused and bemused.

"What? No!" Lisbon said, frowning at Jane, "You don't know what happened?"

"I have no clue." Jane admitted, raising his hands, "Please Lord can you tell me?" He asked in a mutter but he knew Lisbon had heard him.

"CASTLE AND BECKETT FINALLY KISSED!" Lisbon and Grace screamed, and the rest of the female population of the building seemed to hear this and echoed the scream.

"Oh, holy mother of god." Jane muttered, putting his hands together and looking to the sky, "Save me and take me away from this place please." He begged wishing desperately that he had decided to stay at home today.

The End!