The early morning sunlight filtered into the bedroom through the thin curtains, casting an eerie light onto the corpse in the corner. As Agent Booth entered the room he started a bit. It was hard not to laugh; particularly, when his partner Dr. Brennan stated completely matter of factly, "how unusual." The house was scheduled to be torn down on land that now belonged to the Federal Government. When a decomposing corpse was found it had landed the file on Booth's desk.
The unusual thing about this mostly decomposed body was that it was sitting atop a bicycle. The bicycle was leaning against the wall. Stifling another laugh he queried, "So how does a man, or woman whoever, die and not fall off the bicycle? And why was he, or she, on a bike in the bedroom to begin with?"
"I don't have answers to those questions for you Booth. But, I can tell you that the remains are from a male, late 30s to early 40s by the look of it and I would say the remains have been here from two to four year factoring in the exposure to air."
"Okay, so why was he on a bike in the bedroom, Bones?"
"Like I said, I don't have an answer to that now. But if we get the remains and the vehicle to the lab then maybe we can fine some answers." With that Brennan stood up and headed back out to the car. Booth followed behind her, taking one last glance at the remains before they were packed up, bicycle and all.
They arrived at the lab a few minutes ahead of the remains. Brennan went to gather up her team with Booth following behind her. Zach, Hodgins, and Angela were all in the Angela's office. Hodgins and Angela were staring at Zach in disbelief.
"Zach, that is not a joke," Hodgins said.
"Yes, a joke requires a brief tale which is followed by a punch line which answers the question or issue raised in the aforementioned story."
"Honey, you are missing a key part of the definition."
"Yeah, the funny part," Hodgins jumped in. "Zach, a joke is supposed to be funny. You know, make people laugh."
"There was a humorous aspect to the joke," Zach insisted. "Maybe you just didn't fully comprehend the comedic element."
"The phrase you are looking for is we didn't 'get it', sweetie," Angela said with a smile.
"You want a joke," Hodgins began as Booth and Brennan walked in. "Here is a joke… so a Priest, a Rabbi, and a monkey walk into a bar…"
"We have a case," Brennan stated interrupting Hodgins joke.
"I was telling a joke," he protested.
"Yeah Bones, I want to hear the joke," Booth argued.
Zach slightly offended at the reaction to his joke turned and asked, "What is the case Dr. Brennan?"
This got Booth' attention off the joke as he turned to explain, "It is the weirdest thing ever. There was this guy, well what was left of him, and he was on a bike…Maybe you should just come see it." With that they filed out to investigate the remains.
Instead of the remains being lain out on the table the bicycle had been rigged to stand up on the platform. The bones had just enough tissue on them to keep the remains together as to not have ended up in a pile on the floor surrounding the bike. The team quickly got to work, everyone doing their part to identify the victim, as well as cause and time of death. It was the cause of death that most concerned Booth at that moment. He was puzzling over if he was going to have to hunt down a perpetrator and motive for this case.
Booth paced the platform silently observing the work going on around him. Hodgins worked his way through the remains and the bicycle looking for any particulates that could help pinpoint what had happened. Zach had taken the bones off to clean them so that Brennan could place tissue markers for Angela to make a sketch, the search for dental records had indicated nothing.
Brennan was watching Zach investigate the remains while Booth paced around the platform. "I still don't understand how you don't know cause of death," he said.
"There just isn't anything obvious. No bullet wounds or anything else evident on the remains that would indicate cause of death," Brennan answered.
A short while later, Hodgins came rushing into Brennan's office where she and Booth had been reviewing what they knew, which they were finding was pretty much nothing. As Hodgins entered Booth's phone rang. "This is Booth," he answered wandering over to sit on the couch.
"What do you have?" Brennan asked a very enthusiastic Hodgins.
"I have the cause of death. The victim was poisoned."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive, I ran tox on the tissue samples we were able to remove from the bones. At first I wasn't finding any results so it occurred to me to test the hair follicles we found remaining on the victims skull. When I did I found high amounts of arseniuretted hydrogen. So there for, the victim was poisoned. Making this either the weirdest accidental death or it was a homicide."
"Good work."
"Good work on what?" Booth asked hanging up his phone.
"Hodgins found our cause of death. It was poisoning."
"When I tested the victim's hair follicles I found arseniuretted hydrogen. So he was poisoned."
"What is arserated hydrogen, or whatever you said?"
"Arseniuretted hydrogen," Brennan corrected, "arsine or the simplest compound of arsenic. It remains in the hair follicles of poison victims for years after the poisoning."
"Alright so we have cause of death and we may have a suspect," Booth said. "The phone call I got was the result on the last resident of the house. They are faxing the information over." Changing the subject he added, "So Hodgins what was that joke you were going to tell?"
"Oh," Hodgins began, "okay, so a priest, a rabbi, and a monkey walk into a bar. And the bartender says, 'I can't serve..."
Hodgins was once again cut off as Zach ran into Brennan's office. "The remains were placed on the bicycle post-mortem. From looking at the bones I can see wear in the bones from the seat of the bicycle as well as the handlebars."
"How does that tell you that it was post-mortem?" Booth asked looking at Brennan, who in turn looked at Zach.
"Well you see the wear is not located in the correct region of the bones for natural wear from riding a bicycle. In fact, I can show you if you would all follow me to Angela's office."
Once in Angela's office Zach explained to the group, as Angela modeled on the Angelator the exact reason why they victim had to be placed on the bicycle post-mortem. "So if you look at the image of a person riding a bicycle, you can see where the center of weight would be placed on the seat and handlebars. If a victim went limp as one would after death. You can see that the victim would have fallen to the ground." At this the image illustrated the said motion. "However, if you seat the person in the manner that would result in the wear I found on the bones you will see that, while it is an unnatural position for a person to sit in, the body would stay balanced on the bicycle even after death." Zach turned and grinned at everyone as the Angelator illustrated his explanation.
Booth was hovering over the fax machine in Brennan's office glaring at it. "The fax should have come in by now," he growled.
"Staring at the machine isn't going to make your fax arrive any sooner," said Brennan from her desk. "A watched kettle never boils."
"Pot, Bones, A watched pot never boils."
"You are just going to love me," Angela stated walking into the office.
"You came to fix the fax machine?" Booth said turning towards her.
"What?" Angela asked very confused.
"Ignore him," Brennan interjected. "Why will we love you?"
"I have an ID. The sketch I created with my brilliance has a match in missing persons. It is a Robert Anderson. He went missing almost four years ago. He was reported missing by his boss when he didn't show up to work for three days." Booth's enthusiastic grunt as the fax machine began to transmit interrupted Angela, who only paused momentarily before continuing, "Also his girlfriend at the time hadn't heard from or seen him for those three days, her name was Cynthia…"
"…Finnegan," Booth finished for Angela.
"How did you know that?" Angela asked looking back down at her file.
Booth in turn raised the papers he had just pulled off the fax machine. "Last known resident of the house was a Miss Cynthia Finnegan, who moved out in July of 2003, just two weeks before Mr. Anderson went missing. I would guess the house was left abandoned at that point and never searched for Mr. Anderson because Miss Finnegan had already moved out." Booth smiled, he seemed to be happy to already be putting the pieces together.
"So are we going to go question Cynthia Finnegan?" Brennan asked enthusiastically.
"Bones, it is almost 9:30 at night. We can go question her tomorrow." Booth said, "I am starving lets go get some food."
A short while later found the gang being fed by Sid. It had been an incredibly productive day and the initially puzzling case was easily falling into place. As they all ate and talked Hodgins once again began his joke. "Okay, so a priest, a rabbi, and a monkey walk into a bar and the bartender says, "I can't serve you, if you bring that monkey in here." And the priest says, "We just need some water because…"
At that moment Booth cell phone rang. "Booth," he answered. "No, I don't think so. Rebecca come on I don't… Okay fine." Standing up and throwing some cash on the table Booth added to everyone, "I have to go."
The next morning Booth wandered into the Jeffersonian and hollered, "Bones, where are you? Let's go times a wasting."
"I am right here. Where are we going?" she asked as Booth began to help her off with her lab coat and replaced it with her jacket.
"We are going to see Cynthia Finnegan remember. Possible murderer, missing boyfriend found on a bicycle." With that he led her out of the lab and to the car.
As they stood on the porch looking around Brennan hypothesized, "This doesn't look like the home of a murderer." She was right, the windows all had lace curtains and there were flowers growing out of flower boxes.
"Come on Bones, her boyfriend went missing and was found years later in the house where she used to live. That isn't a coincidence."
"It is possible that someone killed him and knowing she had moved out of the house thought it would be a good place to put a body."
At that moment a petite woman in her late 40s opened the door. "Hello, can I help you?" she asked.
"Cynthia Finnegan?" Booth asked.
"Yes that's me. Is there something you need?"
"I am Special Agent Seeley Booth, with the FBI and this is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan, we need to…"
"I thought you looked familiar," Cynthia said grinning at Brennan. "I love your books, oh my goodness, I have a copy of one just inside, would you mind signing it for me?"
"Ms. Finnegan," Booth interjected. "We really need to ask you some questions. Maybe we could come in."
"Sure, of course. I am sorry I just got overly excited. I tend to do that sometimes. Come on in and sit down."
As they settled onto the couch Cynthia asked, "Does this have to do with Robert?"
"What makes you ask that?" Brennan asked.
"Well I can't think of any other reason why the FBI would come to my door."
"Ms. Finnegan, we found a body. And have identified it as Robert Anderson." Cynthia looked sad, but Brennan continued, "The remains were found in your old house on 36th street."
"I see," Cynthia said standing up. "I have forgotten my manners. Let me get you folks some tea and cookies."
"Really Ms. Finnegan, we are fine we just need to ask you some questions."
"No, I insist. Go ahead and ask your questions." With that she walked into the kitchen.
"Well, Ms. Finnegan. When was the last time you saw Robert?"
"He was going to leave me. Can you believe that? We had been dating for 8 years. I was getting old. I had just assumed we were going to get married. But he was just wasting my time. If it hadn't been for him I would have been able to meet someone else but I was just too old by the time he decided it wasn't worth it."
"I am very sorry you felt that way Ms. Finnegan, but when was the last time you saw him?"
"I could have moved on and met someone else. But I never could have been a mother. He stole that from me. He was just going to ride off on his bicycle." Setting a tray of cookies and tea in front of Booth and Brennan she added, "Here, have some tea and cookies."
Booth began to reach forward to grab a chocolate chip cookie off the plate when Brennan held up her hand to stop him. He looked at her puzzled and then realized, Arsenic.
"So you were angry with Robert that he was going to leave you?" Booth asked.
"Well, not so much angry as I was disappointed. I just couldn't have that. I had to make him see, that just wasn't the way. You don't just leave someone after all those years. He had to understand."
"So you made sure that he could never leave you?" Brennan asked. "By poisoning him?"
"I had to do something I couldn't let all my effort into the relationship go to waste. And he loved his bicycle so much."
That was enough for Booth, "Cynthia Finnegan, you are under arrest for the murder of Robert Anderson…"
Back at the lab Brennan was in her office with Angela. "So the woman basically admitted to murder right then and there?" Angela asked.
"Yeah, she didn't seem to realize that she had done something wrong. She kept trying to explain to me how it was wrong of him to want to leave and she had to fix it." Brennan shrugged. "She is probably just insane."
"Well, clearly."
At that moment Booth walked into Brennan's office. "We got a full confession out of her." I am really unsure how anyone can justify a murder like that but she did. She really didn't seem to think she had done anything wrong."
"Come on, the guys went ahead to get us a table. I need dinner, "Angela said grabbing her purse. Booth and Brennan followed her out of the lab.
Zach and Hodgins were sitting at a booth. Hodgins was once again telling his famous joke. Booth eagerly sat down to hear while Brennan and Angela casually slid into the booth. Sid came over to drop off their food and was greeted by everyone laughing as Hodgins said, "Then the bartender turned to the rabbi who said, "And I swear, that's how the monkey got the peanut butter."