Hey! This is a one shot that has been in my head. It's typical but I think I added a little twist to it. Or maybe this is just what would have gone through my head if I was in Rory's position. Oh well. I hope you enjoy! Oh yes, this is all in Rory's POV. And the last italicized note is a song named "Song in my head" by Sherwood.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Gilmore Girls. If I did, things would be a lot different!

Oh lord. What am I going to do? I love Logan. I really do. But, I want to live my life. I am only 22 years old. I need to live. I can't think about marriage yet, or kids. Maybe one day, but not now! Why can't Logan just wait? WHYWHYWHY! I love him so much but I don't want to move, I don't want to settle down just yet. I need doors. I was happy I had doors. Now there disappearing right before my very eyes! To top it all off, from the man I love.

Logan… I'm sorry… I can't. I love you. You know how much I love you. I love the idea of being married to you... but... there are just a lot of things right now in my life that are undecided. And that used to scare me, but now I-I kind of like the idea that...it's just all kind of...wide open. And if I married you, it just wouldn't be.

Goodbye, Rory

Those were the last words he said to me. Maybe forever. Maybe till tomorrow. But anyhow, I just wanted to crawl into a little hole and stay there until I felt better about the situation. I hurt the man I actually truly loved. I have an inkling that this is one of the worst feelings you will ever feel. I just can't get the image of him walking away. To others it may seem like he's just walking away from me but to me, it seems like he's walking out of my life.

How you doing, honey?

Well, I'm not okay. I feel awful. I feel sick. I miss him already.

I know.

And it just sucks, you know, because I graduated today. This was supposed to be a happy day in my life, and now when I look back on it, I'm just gonna think about this horrible thing that happened.

I'm sorry. I think you made the right decision.

I made the right decision? My own mother thinks I made the right decision. Is that possible? All I have been thinking about is that I made the worst decision in my life. I could have had it all but I threw it away in a moment. But, maybe I did do something right. I actually did what was right for me?

Someday you'll meet someone, and you'll just know it's right. You won't want to hesitate. You'll just know.

That took me off guard. Logan is right for me. Just not right now. I love him with all my heart! I hesitated because it was a major life decision. I can't just say "yes" right away. But maybe she was right. If I loved him as much as I say I do, I would have known that it was right. God this is so confusing. What do I want?

Believe me I'm letting myself feel plenty sad. I just can't imagine it feeling better.

But it will someday I promise.

I hope she's right. I have this ongoing feeling of nausea. It just won't go away. It must be that I have never felt this bad. I really do miss him. When I found out about Boraco's campaign, the first thing I wanted to do was call him. But reality sunk back in and I realize that I can't do that. Those waves are going to kill me someday.

Don't blink, don't close your eyes,
But most of all don't apologize.
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

This is real. This is life. This is the moment that could change me forever. Plus a few others. I look down at the stick that has more meaning than anything else in the world.

Positive.

I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are lovely!