A/N I want you all to look at the genres of this story – you see it says angst? Okay, I'm glad we've got that sorted. This story is based on the real situation of a detective who passed through my ER a few years ago, but that's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil anything in the story!

Oh yeah, and updates will be SLOW. This is the first story I don't have written ahead of what I'm posting, so you'll all be getting 'live' updates. It also means I'm more open to suggestions!

Disclaimer: I don't own Cold Case or any of its characters. Jeremy is a character created only for sole purposes of this story. Story title from Rosie Thomas, chapter title and lyrics from Duffy.

it was just my mistake, thinking you cared. it was just my mistake, thinking you'd be there, that you'd be by my side and that you wouldn't lie

He had to admit – Lilly definitely picked good-looking guys. A prime example stood a short distance away from him, all short blonde hair and pearly whites, gripping her hips and holding her tight against him with no room for manoeuvre.

"You keep grinding your teeth anymore, they're gonna fall out."

Scotty blinked, barely managing to tear his eyes away from Lilly, and felt his brow crease into a scowl at the couple dancing a few feet away from him. Already smirking at Miller's comment, Vera chuckled knowingly, shaking his head.

"You still fightin' that green eyed monster?"

"What?" the younger man snapped.

Vera held his hands up defensively.

"Yo, chill out, man."

"Keep your voices down. She's coming," Miller hissed.

Vera cleared his throat, shuffling towards his partner.

"Hey, Lil," he greeted. Miller smirked to herself.

"You must have been having fun out there."

The blonde detective smiled up at the man standing beside her.

"We were. You guys remember Jeremy, don't you?"

"How's life in the business world?" Vera said, extending a hand. Jeremy shook it, his free hand lingering at the small of her back.

"Day to day. It's good to see you again."

Lilly turned to her partner, giving him an uncertain smile.

"Hey, Scotty," she said tentatively.

"Rush," he replied shortly, standing up and turning to his other colleagues, "I'm gettin' a drink. You two want anythin'?"

They both shook their heads, and Scotty slid out of the booth, not bothering to acknowledge his partner or the man standing beside her.

Jeremy chuckled nervously.

"He still doesn't like me, does he?"

"He's just a little overprotective," Lilly ground out, glaring at Scotty's retreating back.

"Yeah, because that's the problem," Miller muttered sarcastically.

The blonde detective stood on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Jeremy's cheek, smiling apologetically.

"Will you give me a minute?"

"Sure," he replied with a grin, rubbing a hand through his sandy blonde hair.

The force of her punch almost knocked Scotty clean off his barstool.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Scotty narrowed his eyes, standing upright and feeling inwardly satisfied when Lilly had to look up at him if she wanted to continue.

"Why are you acting like a...?"

"Like a what, Lilly?" he interrupted fiercely, "Like a jealous boyfriend?"

She folded her arms, steeling herself against his anger.

"You couldn't even pretend to like him?" she asked softly. Her heart broke at the pained expression that crept across his shadowed face.

"How strong do you think I am, Lil?" he replied in a voice no more than a whisper.

God, she really wanted to kiss him. Lilly cleared her throat.

"All I'm asking is that you at least make an effort. I'm not sayin' take him out for drinks, but..."

His fingers itched to reach out for her, and Scotty fought his hardest to keep them still.

"Does he even know about us?"

"No!" Lilly replied incredulously, "It's none of his business!"

Scotty scoffed in disbelief.

"Right, 'cause it ain't right for your boyfriend to know that your partner, who you see every damn day, has seen you naked!"

Lilly ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

"Look, we tried, Scotty!" she said desperately, "We tried 'us', and it didn't work!"

"No, Lil! I tried. You gave up!"

"I didn't give up..." Lilly attempted.

Scotty scoffed.

"So after six months, you jus' decided that you didn't love me anymore," he said angrily.

"Now you know that's not true," Lilly replied seriously. He took a step towards her.

"Do I?"

No longer able to stand the pain in his eyes, Lilly pushed past him, ignoring his growl of frustration, and moved swiftly towards Jeremy. Painting a smile onto her face, she looped her arm through his.

"There you are. Are you ready to go?"

He frowned.

"Already?" he said in surprise. Vera and Kat exchanged glances.

"You alright?" Nick asked slowly. Lilly felt her mask slip for a second, but then it was firmly back in place.

"No problem, I'm just tired."

Jeremy let his arm fall to her waist, smiling down at her.

"I guess that's my cue," he laughed, "It was nice seeing you guys again."

"You too," Miller replied, waving as Jeremy guided Lilly to the exit.

As soon as they were out of earshot, Vera chuckled.

"Man, Lil's gonna kick his fiery Latin ass."

Miller shook her head. "Damn straight."

As if he had known that his partner and her boyfriend had left, Scotty reappeared, a dark scowl creasing his brow.

"Nice going, hotshot," Miller snarked, "you always try and piss off your partner like that?"

Scotty shook his head.

"I ain't the bad guy in all this!"

"Neither is he!" Miller pointed out in exasperation, "He's just some poor schmuck Lilly picked up as her rebound!"

He flexed his fist, digging his fingernails into the soft skin of his palm.

"Seven weeks seems like an awful long rebound."

Miller let out an angry growl. "Yeah, well maybe she just didn't think you were worth it!"

Scotty grabbed his jacket.

"Bite me, Miller. I'm out."

It didn't take him long to push all the furniture to the walls, just like it hadn't taken him long yesterday, and the day before that, and the...

Had she been there, Lilly would have yelled at him, informed him – loudly – that he was an idiot.

But that, he supposed, was the problem. Lilly wasn't there.

Scotty pulled off his socks, not caring where they landed, and tore the undershirt over his head. The air was cold against his bare chest, and he blew out a long breath.

The first jump was always the best, he thought. Feet leaving the ground, problems falling away because you're so busy concentrating on the jump, then landing. The masochistic pleasure of hearing your bare feet slap against the floor.

Scotty gripped the rope harder, his fingers turning pink and then white.

Pictures in his mind. Jeremy and Lilly, his hands touching her, his hands carrying her to the edge, his hands stroking her porcelain skin as she trembled from the aftershocks of the orgasm he had given her.

Scotty couldn't help it. He jumped harder and harder, faster and faster, ignoring the sweat that fell into his eyes and blocking out the blood pounding in his ears.

He lost track of time, so caught up in hating Lilly and loving Lilly that Scotty didn't realise how late it was until the phone rang. He dropped the jump rope to the floor, darting across to pick up the phone.

"Valens," he answered breathlessly.

"Scotty..." came the tiny voice, completely unrecognizable from her normal tone, "I shot him! I...I..."

Lilly released a choked sob.

"Jeremy...he's dead."

A/N I know, I know, I just left it on a cliffhanger. Hate me if you must. This was sort of a tester chapter to see what you guys think, so...let me know!