Axis Powers: Hetalia does not belong to me and never ever will.

"…England…?"

America swallowed hard, honestly shocked by what he saw. There, unsteadily waddling toward him, was a penguin with an explosion of unruly blonde hair, thick blonde eyebrows, gorgeous green eyes, and a scowl that rivaled the animal's native habitat.

"What is it, you bloody twat?" the voice was very high pitched, but it was definitely England's voice.

"…You're a penguin…"

"What of it! One of my goddamn potions went wrong, git. Now if you would kindly leave…" the flightless bird stumbled forward, ushering the large American man out the door.

And that's when America realized just how hilarious this situation was. "You're a penguin! A flightless, harmless, useless, and absolutely adorable little birdie! Ha! *wipes tears from eyes* Oh my god, that's hilarious!" Once again, he burst into breathless laugher, doubling over in hysteria.

"YOU BLOODY GIT!" The man-turned-penguin squawked, and battered the burger lover with his webbed wings. America merely picked him up under the wings, and held him in front of his face.

"AW! YOU'RE SO CUTE!" the grown man squealed, glomping the arctic animal tightly.

"B-BELT UP!"

"NEVER!"

"G-GIT, LET ME GO!"

"NO! YOU'RE ADORABLE!" If penguins could blush, England would be as red as the color on his flag.

'You're adorable too…' the British bird thought. 'Wait! Bad mind! That's only my little America that's cute! This America is sexy!' Suddenly, America stopped his coddling, looking at him in shock.

'I did not just say that out loud…'

"AWW! IGGY, I LOVE YOU TOO!" Glomp. Coddle. Squeeze. Snuggle. Call it what you may, but what the American did was something not normal.

"…I do not, not, not, not, not love you, git!" England protested.

The American once again paused, eyes looking up in thought. A grin spread across that handsome face, filled with loving emotion. "I knew you loved me! YAY!"

Of course, the potion would wear off now of all times. Not only that, but England was completely naked, as all of his clothes wouldn't fit his tiny bird body. And being held in the arms of the American you'd secretly loved in this state after the other had proclaimed love wasn't exactly… Opportune.

"Hehehe…" an evil chuckle escaped America's lips, a very lewd look assuming his expression. "Now that you're back, I can fuck you now! TO THE BEDROOM!"

"W-WAIT! YOU BLOODY GIT!"

:(:):(^-^):(:):

That night, no one on the block got any sleeps due to the screams of ecstasy of a certain British man that could be heard coming from the Jones' Residence almost everywhere you went.

:(:):(^-^):(:):

Hey! It's Hani… I really couldn't resist writing that after I read a fic that called Pirate!England Pengland. My mind immediately associated it with penguins, and this is the result :D Hope you enjoyed the cracky-ness!