Requested by OneofThoseBandGeeks: the prequel to A Little Bug. I present to you the chain of events that led up to Vincent having to pick Tseng up at work and take him home for some quality nursing. Heheh. I am evil. And I love it. As always, feedback is appreciated, and you might be interested in the three new pieces of art up on my mainpage.

Cloud's phone rang just after he left the church. Still feeling lazy and warm from an hour of sitting at the edge of Aerith's pool, he actually answered it.

"Hello?"

"Cloud! Thanks for picking up!"

"Tifa?"

"Can you do a favor for me?"

"Sure."

"Pick Marlene up. The school just called- she's sick, but I don't want to leave Denzel."

Cloud nodded. Tifa had left a message the night before, the usual update on how everyone was doing, and had reported that Denzel had come down with some stomach bug and she was keeping him home from school the next day. It didn't surprise him that Marlene had gotten it, assuming that was what she had.

"No problem."

"Thank you. I'll see you when you get home."

"Mmhm."

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A helpful office aid directed him to the nurse's office. When he stepped inside, he found Marlene sitting on a bench at the back of the room, arms wrapped around herself.

"Hey, Marlene," he said softly.

"Cloud," she whimpered.

"Are you her father?" the nurse asked.

Cloud shook his head.

"I'm one of her guardians. Her father lives in Corel. I've already signed her out."

"Take good care of her. It's nothing serious."

"Thank you."

He picked Marlene up, cradling her against his chest with one arm and grabbing her little pink backpack with his free hand, and walked out.

"Cloud, I don't feel good," Marlene whispered while Cloud was stowing her backpack in one of his saddle bags.

"I know. That's why Tifa sent me to get you."

"I wanna go home."

"We're going. Just hold onto me, okay?"

He sat her in front of him and started the bike. It roared to life, startling Marlene into an even tighter grip on Cloud's shirt, and they pulled out of the parking lot.

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By the time they reached 7th Heaven, Marlene had thrown up twice. Cloud carried her into the house anyway. He'd been covered in worse things than little girl vomit.

Tifa came running.

"Marlene!"

Cloud held her out.

"Definitely the same thing Denzel has," he said. "I'm going to get her backpack and hose down the bike, alright?"

"Mmhm. Thank you for picking her up."

"How's Denzel?"

"Not fully recovered, but feeling better. When you're done with the bike, make sure you get a shower. I don't want you getting sick too."

"Tifa, the kids bring home all kinds of bugs and I never get them. Don't worry."

Tifa shrugged and vanished into the house with Marlene.

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When Cloud got inside, he was dripping wet from the hose-down- it had seemed a good idea to get himself as well- and carrying Marlene's backpack. He left it in the kitchen and plodded upstairs.

"Cloud?" Denzel asked when he passed the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"You're home?"

Cloud leaned in the door. Denzel was curled up in his bed with a book that he didn't look too interested in.

"Uh-huh. Tifa had me go get Marlene. She's got whatever you have."

"Is Tifa okay? And you?"

He laughed and came fully into the room.

"I'm fine, Denzel, and so is Tifa. How are you feeling?"

Denzel stuck his tongue out.

"Gross," he complained. "I hate being sick. Can you help me with this?"

"Everyone hates being sick. And it depends on what 'this' is."

"It's a book on Wutain culture, but I don't get it. I'm supposed to read it and write a report on it. You've been to Wutai…..can you help?"

"Give me ten minutes to shower and I'll help, alright?"

"Okay."

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When Tifa walked by half an hour later, on her way to take a glass of flat soda to Marlene, she found Cloud sitting on the bed with Denzel snuggled under his arm, explaining the finer points of the Wutain class system. Denzel actually looked interested, which was a nice change after hearing him complain about the assignment for hours. Cloud looked….not happy, but content. Tifa smiled. It was nice to think that Cloud was finally settling down a bit, fitting into his role as a father-figure and really taking an interest in the kids' lives.

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Dinner was quiet, since it was only Cloud and Tifa attending. Cloud talked about the latest news from the places he'd been through, and Tifa relayed local gossip and events. A normal evening.

After dinner, when the dishes were done and Tifa was folding laundry, Cloud wound up holding Marlene for the better part of two hours, keeping her warm and marginally calm while she alternately threw up and sobbed. Tifa offered to take over, but Cloud shook his head without looking at her, too busy wiping away Marlene's tears. Tifa smiled and left him alone.

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The following morning, as Tifa was going to check on Denzel and see if he was feeling well enough to go to school- he was- she noticed that Cloud wasn't in his room. His bike was still in the drive, so she knew he was nearby…..but where?

She found him in Marlene's room, curled up on the small bed with Marlene cuddled up against his stomach, both sound asleep. Tifa smiled and went to start prodding Denzel into getting ready for school.

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As it turned out, Cloud was a more than competent caretaker. He managed Marlene all day, while Tifa went grocery shopping, did inventory, and completed the backlog of household chores she hadn't gotten to in the last couple of days with one child or the other being home sick. Cloud held Marlene, calmed her down while she threw up, coaxed her into drinking juice and nibbling on a few saltines, and even found the time to say hello to Vincent when the gunslinger showed up, yawning, on the front steps in the afternoon.

By evening, Marlene was feeling better and had fallen asleep in Cloud's lap on the couch downstairs. He carried her to her room, followed by Vincent, who he had been talking to when Marlene had slumped over.

"You seem to have taken to the situation quite well," Vincent commented, watching Cloud tuck Marlene into bed.

"Tifa said the same thing," Cloud murmured, digging under the bed for a moogle plushie Marlene always slept with. "It's not like I tried to do anything."

"Instinct. You were built to be a father, after all, just as I or Barret were."

"Whatever it is, it's nice to see Tifa smiling so much."

"She sees what I see."

"And that is?"

"A very good father."

"Vincent, I spend most of my time running around the planet and not committing."

"You work to support a single woman and the two children she lives with, even though neither of them is yours and you have no formal ties to her. That says something about a man."

Cloud snorted but didn't deny it.

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Marlene was up bright and early, a testament to the incredible recovery powers of small children. She bounced down the hall, then turned an abrupt about-face and ran into Tifa's room.

"Tifa! Tifa!"

"Marlene? What time is it?"

"It's morning!"

"It's too early."

"But Cloud's sick!"

That got Tifa out of bed in record time. She pulled on her robe and let Marlene lead her to the bathroom door.

Cloud was huddled on the bathroom floor, wet with sweat and shivering under Vincent's hands.

"Cloud?" Tifa asked softly.

"What're you doin' up?"

"Marlene came to get me. You've got what she and Denzel had, don't you?"

"It's that or I'm pregnant."

Tifa snorted and stepped into the bathroom, kneeling beside Cloud to feel his forehead. He leaned into the touch with a shaky sigh.

"You're warm," she murmured. "How long have you been in here?"

"I heard him at two," Vincent murmured. "He didn't say how long he'd been here before I arrived."

"And you've been here since then?"

"Yes."

"You must be exhausted! I can take over from here, okay?"

Vincent nodded and got up, picking his way around Cloud and Tifa. When he reached Marlene, he scooped her up.

"Come, Marlene. Let's you and I see what we can find for breakfast, hmm?"

"Will Cloud be okay?" Marlene asked, leaning over Vincent's shoulder to look back at Cloud throwing up and Tifa taking Vincent's seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"He'll be fine, Marlene. He's just sick like you were."

"But Cloud never gets sick."

"Even I get sick."

"You do?"

"I do. Very rarely, but it happens. Now…what would you like for breakfast?"

"Can we make French toast?"

"I don't see why not."

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Tifa helped Cloud to bed a good twenty minutes later. He crawled under the blankets and buried his head under a pillow.

"It's not the end of the world," Tifa laughed.

"No, but it's close," Cloud moaned. "I feel terrible."

"I think you've got it a little worse than the kids did."

"Wonderful."

Tifa patted Cloud's shoulder- or at least that was what she thought it was.

"I'm going to go get you some water and a bucket, okay? Don't go anywhere."

"Mmph."

Vincent and Marlene had been joined by Denzel when Tifa stepped into the kitchen. All three of them were enjoying the fruits of their labor: hot French toast and freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Is Cloud okay?" Denzel asked, looking up from his breakfast.

"Not at the moment, but he'll be fine."

"It was our fault, huh?"

"What?"

"Me and Marlene. We made him sick, didn't we?"

"No, sweetie, it wasn't you."

"But we were sick first."

"That's true, but it wasn't you as people. You can't help getting sick, and Cloud knows that. He chose to stay close to you knowing that he might get sick, alright?"

Denzel nodded slowly.

"I guess," he murmured, forking up another piece of toast.

Vincent took the kids to catch the bus while Tifa tended to Cloud. There was little she could do, really, just make him drink a little every now and then, stroke his hair, and empty his bucket, but she did what she could. Being sick was never fun, and it was even less fun when you didn't get sick often.

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That evening, after the kids were settled down with homework, Tifa checked on Cloud one last time and headed downstairs to open up the bar. She'd had it closed the last two days already, and Cloud could take care of himself for a few hours.

Reno meandered in around nine.

"Hey, Teef. Where's Cloud tonight?"

"Sick. The kids brought a bug home from school and gave it to him."

Reno snorted. "Since when does he get sick?"

"Since now, I suppose. He gave me the whole 'I don't get sick' speech the day before, but I warned him."

"Can I go see him?"

Tifa laughed.

"You just want to go make fun of him."

"Of course, yo! What else?"

"Go on. But don't bother him if he's asleep."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Reno promised, sliding off his stool.

Tifa tended to the bar for awhile, not bothered with Reno wandering around in the house unattended. Vincent was there, and would probably snag the redhead for some Turk chat.

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More than an hour later, as she was passing by the house door to carry a couple of drinks out to a table, something thudded against the upstairs floor and a yell floated through the door. Tifa delivered the drinks as fast as she could and raced inside. A stream of furious curses started up while she was en route.

Vincent met her on the stairs with a bucket half-full of water in one hand and a mop in the other.

"It's not an emergency," he assured her. "Just a mess."He paused, listening, and snorted. "And Reno making his opinion known rather loudly."

Tifa hesitated, wanting to run up the stairs. Vincent shook his head.

"No need to hurry."

"What happened?" she asked.

"A series of events that wouldn't have ended this way if Cloud hadn't decided he was well enough to come downstairs and lounge in the living room with Reno and I. We were talking, and Marlene came in looking for someone to cuddle with after an unsettling dream. For some reason, she chose Reno. We stayed that way for awhile, until Marlene fell asleep. Reno took her upstairs to put her back to bed. While he was gone, Cloud's stomach decided to remind him that he is still sick. He collided with Reno on his way to the bathroom. The impact was enough to make him throw up all over Reno. Hence, the cursing."

Tifa winced. Eew.

"You can go back to the bar, if you like," Vincent suggested. "I can handle the clean-up alone."

"No, I want to check on Cloud anyway."

Upstairs, Reno was standing just to the left of a puddle of vomit. The front of his shirt and jeans were splattered with it as well. He was still cursing a blue streak, and had yet to repeat himself.

"Reno, the kids could hear you!"

To his credit, Reno toned down the swearing. He peeled his shirt off carefully and held it out at arm's length.

"Ohgodeww," he hissed. "You didn't say he was puking when I asked to come in."

"You didn't ask!"

"I think I'm gonna go home now. And….shower. Yeah. Or…y'know, can I just borrow something? I don't wanna get in a car like this."

Tifa nodded.

"I'll track something down…you can use the shower in my bedroom, alright? Down the hall and to the right."

"Yeah. Thanks." Reno walked stiffly in the direction of Tifa's room. Tifa watched him go, then went to the bathroom door and peeked in.

"Cloud?"

"Borrow Reno's mag and set it to extra crispy before you hit me with it," Cloud coughed. "Please."

Tifa sighed and went to kneel beside Cloud, rubbing his shoulder.

"You should have stayed in bed, Cloud, you're still sick."

"I was feeling well enough to be bored. All I did was go sit downstairs!"

Rather than argue, Tifa kissed Cloud's rather sweaty forehead and went to find clothes for Reno.

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Cloud spent Friday stretched out on the couch under a blanket, sleeping off the bug.

Reno went to work like usual, pestered Tseng as usual- or more so than normal, since it was Friday and he had to bother Tseng enough to make up for the two days spent without him- and slacked off as usual. As the morning wore on, though, he started to feel a little uncomfortable. He stomach hurt and he was feeling chilled, even after buttoning his shirt all the way up and shrugging his suit coat on.

Around one, it occurred to him that Cloud had probably been contagious. Puking on someone was a good way to spread your germs, after all.

By two o'clock, he was certain that he was sick. Making a mental note to get back at Cloud the next chance he got, he leaned in Tseng's office door.

"I'm goin' home, boss."

"You don't get off for another four hours, Reno."

"Yeah, but I don't feel too hot."

Tseng rolled his eyes. Whatever. Reno always tried to get out early on Friday.

"Nice try. You have work to do, and you aren't getting out of it."

Reno huffed.

"I'm sick!"

"No, you're trying to get out of work. Back to your desk, please."

"Look, I wasn't asking for permission, I just came to tell you I'm leaving. See you Monday, yo."

"If you must," Tseng sighed. He had more important things to do at the moment than chasing Reno down.

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Reno stumbled through his front door, dropped his things in the entry, and ran for the kitchen, which was closer than the bathroom. He hunched over the sink and retched hard, making a mental note to make his revenge on Cloud particularly nasty. He hadn't been this sick in years.

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Huddled under his blankets, Reno planned and replanned his revenge on Cloud to distract himself from his unsettled stomach. So far he'd managed fifty minutes without throwing up, but most of that had been spent curled up with stomach cramps and so didn't really count.

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He gave up around seven o'clock and dragged a blanket into the bathroom to wait it out.

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Morning rolled around. Reno was curled on the bathroom floor, where he'd fallen asleep sometime earlier. He blinked groggily, dragged himself to his feet, brushed his teeth, and shuffled into his bedroom. Operating mostly on autopilot, he stripped his slacks and boxers off and crawled naked into bed, pulling the blankets up over his head.

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Later that morning, Reno woke up feeling like he'd forgotten something. Had he left a light on? No. Left the door open? No, he remembered closing it. What was it?

He rolled carefully onto his stomach and came face to face with a photo from Rufus' last vacation, which all four Turks had been ordered to attend. He was grinning at the camera, an arm slung around Tseng and a drink in his free hand.

"Tseng," Reno groaned. He'd been hanging off Tseng for most of yesterday. If he was as contagious as Cloud had been…"Fuck."

Reno dragged himself off the bed and picked his phone out of his jacket, which had been dumped in the entry with everything else. He carried it back to his bed and lay down, thinking who to call. By now, Tseng was probably working, and disturbing him was not recommended. Elena and Rude both had the day off, so who could he call? Rufus.

He punched buttons and waited, hoping Rufus was actually awake.

"Hello?"

"Rufus?"

"Reno? What are you doing up at- mmm-quarter after nine on a Saturday morning?"

"I feel like crap," Reno moaned. Yeah, so it wasn't the most intelligent thing he could have said, but it was true and well within the limits of his tired brain.

"You're hungover?"

"No."

"Reno, if you called to tell me something, just tell me. If you're just calling because you're hungover, then it's your own fault for going out drinking and I don't want to hear about it."

"I didn't go drinking," Reno mumbled tiredly. "I didn't go anywhere last night."

"Then what, pray tell, did you do to have you feeling 'like crap'?" Rufus sounded impatient. Reno suspected he'd woken him up. Oops.

"I spent all night puking, okay? I feel like shit, and the only reason I'm calling is because I spent most of yesterday in Tseng's face because I felt like bothering him. He's doing paperwork, right? Would you go down and check on him, just in case?"

"Why don't you call him and ask?"

"If I bother Tseng in his paperwork Zen mode, I'm dead. If you do it, then he'll listen. Please, Rufus."

"That bad, huh?"

"Worse," Reno said. He rolled onto his side, trying to get more comfortable. "And you know Tseng. He'll never admit to being sick, so if he's at work…"

"I understand. Do you need anything?"

"A bullet to the brain would be nice."

"I'm being serious, Reno."

"So am I. I've spent most of the last eighteen hours fighting a life or death battle with my guts. I can't get any more serious."

"I'll check on him. Take care of yourself."

"Sure." Reno hung up and pulled his pillow back over his face. With any luck, he'd suffocate.

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Rufus rolled onto his back and eyed his phone for a few minutes. He really ought to go down now and check on Tseng, but he was sleepy and warm, and he was not going to risk catching whatever Reno had. He'd call someone when he woke up.

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By four o'clock that afternoon, Tseng was starting to feel sick to his stomach.