Dr. Nyko sits in his office for his last appointment of the day, staring at the two women before him. They sit there, together, but separate. Together as a couple in marriage counseling, but separated physically in their own chairs and emotionally in their behaviors. They sit stiff and formal in their business suits, the epitome of a power couple; yet they somehow are missing the most important thing: the couple part. The blonde woman on the left, dressed smartly in a tight black skirt with a blue blouse, begins to speak first, with a smile, as if in attempt to hasten this encounter.
"Ok, I'll start us off. Let me just preface this by saying that we don't really need to be here. See, we've been married 5 years…"
"Six." The fierce looking brunette on her right simply states.
"Five, six years," the blonde continues on, "and this is like a check up for us. Umm… a chance to poke around the engine, maybe change the oil… God I've been spending too much time with Raven…"
The blonde looks down at her wrist and fiddles with her watch nervously, as the brunette smiles politely while removing her suit jacket and rolling up the sleeves of her blouse.
"Very well then, let's pop the hood!" Dr. Nyko cheerily states. "On a scale of one to ten, how happy are you as a couple?"
"Eight." The brunette responds immediately.
"Wait," the blonde says with a confused frown on her face, "ten being perfectly happy, or one being totally miserable?"
The brunette continues to sit impassively, but a small, annoyed frown is just barely distinguishable on her face. In a mollifying voice, Dr. Nyko replies, "just respond instinctively."
The blonde's confused frown disappears. "Ok. Ready?" she asks her partner.
"Ready." The brunette states with a sharp nod of her head.
They both reply simultaneously, "eight."
Deciding to venture into the more difficult questions, Dr. Nyko asks, "How often do you have sex?"
The brunette responds first this time. "I don't understand the question." She states with a just barely perceptible puzzled set to her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I'm lost." The blonde follows. "Is this a one to ten thing?"
"Is one nothing, or is one very little? Because technically, zero would be nothing." The brunette replies, in a lecturing manner to Dr. Nyko.
Dr. Nyko decides not to respond to that last subtle jibe, and instead asks, "how about this past month?"
Both women look off into the distance, racking their brains for the answer to the question. After a long, awkward silence, with both parties appearing to become more uncomfortable by the second, he decides to move on. "How about you describe how you first met."
A small smile appears on the brunette's face, as she says, "well, it was in Columbia."
"Bogotá," the blonde says with a large grin, evidently filled with memories. "Five years ago."
"Six" the brunette reminds the blonde, the stoic look once again returning to her face.
"Right, five or six years ago." The blonde affirms, slightly uncomfortable once again.
AN: Hi everyone! I know this has been done before but Mr. and Mrs. Smith is one of my favorite movies, so I decided to do it anyways, especially after I saw the edit of the movie poster. It's my first fan fiction, so I will take all criticism and help gladly! It's going to follow the movie very closely, especially in the beginning, but I am going to try to work in as many characters and new things as I can think of. I own nothing in this story. I don't own the characters from either work or the work themselves, so please don't sue me. I have no money anyways, I'm a broke college student. It's also posted on Archive of Our Own under the same title.