Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are completely fictional and are NOT mine. They are credited to Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg since they are the truly awesome ones here. ;3 I don't own any characters or names, but the story is my own.
A/N: Well, well, this is my first submission ever to ff, and the first time I've ever written fan fiction of any sort! It's not my first time writing, but it has been at least two years since I wrote anything fiction-based, so you'll have to bear with some of the bad writing in the beginning, but I'm halfway through the second chapter, and it's already much better than this one! xD I really hope you guys enjoy this all in the end. ; u; Rating and reviewing would be awesome! Let me know if I'm using any 'slang' COMPLETELY wrong; you don't need to flame me, just let me know, and I'll happily change it. 3
This takes place right where the movie ends; actually a little before. The last line in the film, is the first line of the story. If you haven't SEEN Hot Fuzz (which, why are you reading this if you haven't? xD Stop everything and watch it NOW) there ARE spoilers. Just wanted to warn you! With that, let's get this going!
Edit: Lol forgot to add the breaks on here since FF took them out. xD Let's make this LESS confusing shall we?
"Bring the noise!"
With sirens whirring, and the accelerator to the floor, Sergeant Danny Butterman and Chief Inspector Nicholas Angel were on their way to the scene of a crime; some hippie types messing with the recycling at Somerfield Supermarket. It had been a year since the NWA had been brought to justice, and while the murders still rang in some of the townsfolk's minds, Sanford was starting to return to its normal, quiet state; sans the secret organization. None of the crimes being committed were as grand as the NWA, but the officers of Sanford still worked hard caring for their village.
As the two officers pulled their car into the back parking lot of Somerfield, they quickly spotted four figures standing around the recycling bins. Nicholas pulled up the brake, unbuckled, and grabbed the door handle, "Ready, Sergeant?"
Danny felt for the notebook in his breast-pocket, and gave a firm nod, "Ready, Chief." They opened their respective doors, and got out, Nicholas already locking his eyes onto the back of one figure's head.
"Excuse me?" He called out, walking closer to the group, "What seems to be the trouble here, folks?"
The quartet had turned their attention on the two officers, exposing three middle-aged, bedraggled men and a mousy looking woman. One man had his hands full with cans, one was holding the lid of the bin open, the last male was preparing to climb into the open bin, and the woman stood by with a garbage bag in hand, assumed to be filled with recyclables. The man holding the cans, who was the apparent ring-leader, spoke up, "No trouble here, officer." His hair was long and unkempt, and looked as if he had a home, but had no idea how to use a shower properly. He continued, "Just collecting some cans to take to the recycling center."
"No trouble," piped the woman, whose voice fit her mousy appearance, and the other two men grunted in agreement.
"Well, I see that, but don't you think you're undoing the hard-work the employees of this establishment labored over?" Nicholas's arms were crossed, his mouth crooked into a small smile, and his eyebrow quirked.
"Now, now, trash is trash," the woman blurted. "If it's trash, then they don't want it, and it's up for anyone to grab."
"Yes well-"
Danny cut off Nicholas, "Yes, but these bins are on Somerfield property." He had his notebook in hand, and had been diligently writing the conversation down. "You see, your logic would work elsewhere, but unless the bins are moved off Somerfield premises, the bins and all their content are property of Somerfield." He tapped his notebook with his pen trying to emphasize his point.
"We apologize then," the leader said giving a little bow of his head. "Is it all right if we at least take what we have here?" He gestured toward the bag.
Danny turned his attention to Nicholas and gave a, "you must be joking" look at his superior. He mulled it over for a moment, and Nicholas turned back to the quartet who were huddled together waiting for their verdict. He walked over to the woman, opened the trash bag, and with his baton, moved the contents around; just cans. He looked up at the woman, and flashed a small smile, "Go ahead. Just don't come here again; we will write you up next time, but for now I'll let you off with a warning."
"Thank you, sir," said the leader, giving a bow again. He looked to his followers, and they turned and left in the opposite direction.
Nicholas was checking on the recycling bin, when Danny spoke up, "You're letting them off with a warning?" He sounded slightly bewildered.
The group hadn't made a dent in Somerfield's recycling, so Nicholas shrugged and put the lid down. He turned to the Sergeant and gestured to walk back to the car, "They thought what they were doing was perfectly legal, and I don't think there was any real harm done, do you Butterman?" He reached the car and opened the driver-side door.
Danny stopped in his tracks and huffed, "Well, they…" He bit his bottom lip, looking at the pavement in thought, "Ahh hell, I guess if you say it's all right, it's all right." He jogged up to the vehicle, opened his door, got in, and reached for his seatbelt.
Nicholas leaned over and grabbed Danny's notebook from his hands while the sergeant was buckling himself in. He flipped it open and looked over the scrawl of blue ink. "These are nice notes, Butterman," he said nodding. "And your performance back there was spot on." He placed the notebook onto his partner's knee, and started up the ignition.
"Really, you think so?" Danny stuffed his notebook back into his pocket, a smile stretching from cheek to cheek, with eyes locked on to the side of Nicholas's face. "Well," he leaned back in his seat, putting his hands behind his head, "I did learn from the best."
"Who me?" Nicholas tilted his head toward Danny, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Nah, I mean the Andys," Danny smirked.
Nicholas snapped his attention to Danny, "What—"
"Watch the road, Chief." Danny pointed forward; Nicholas had veered slightly towards the left, and almost off the road.
"Ack," Nicholas corrected, and stared flustered at the road. After a brief moment of silence, he recomposed himself, "You can't be serious."
"Oh git off it, of course I'm not serious," Danny laughed. "I sure got you goin' for a while there, though."
Nicholas playfully punched Danny's shoulder, "Cheeky prick. If there's anything you've learned from those two, it's pulling jokes like that." He turned the wheel making his way towards the station.
"I guess so, then." Danny looked out the window and watched the station come into view. "Christ, can you believe it?"
"Believe what?" Nicholas once again parked the car and pulled the brake up.
"This; the new station." Danny was staring at the building, which had only been opened for use the month prior. A year before, the station had been blown up by what was thought to be a deactivated sea mine. It took quite a while; sweeping away the mess left behind from the explosion, designing, and with most of the officers in the hospital, it seemed like rebuilding would prove to take much longer. All the factors and yet here it was, standing before them as if nothing had ever happened.
As Danny stared in some state of awe, Nicholas glanced to Danny's side. He hadn't seen it, but he was well aware of the scar that was under the Sergeant's uniform. Danny had taken the business end of a blunderbuss for Nicholas, and there was no chance he could have gotten out of it without a scar. His eyes moved to his own hands which were covered in black, leather gloves. While Danny had been shot at close range, Nicholas had the sea mine go off right in front of him. His hands were burned protecting his face, and were not a sight for the faint when exposed. The burns had left intense scars, and although the mobility and usage of his hands was finally healed, the scars never would.
Wanting to break his own thoughts, Nicholas spoke up, "Let's get inside. We still have some paperwork to do."
"Ahh right," Danny unbuckled and got out of the car. He watched Nicholas get out from the other side, and while shutting his door commented, "There's always something to do."
"That's because there's always something going on," Nicholas replied, locking up the car. The two made their way up the path to the station door.
Nicholas was in his office finishing up some of his paperwork when there was a knock on the door. "Come in," he called, eyes still fixated on his work.
Dorris popped her head in, "Hey, Chief, got some cake in the lounge room, want any?" She flashed that cheerful smile that could convince anyone she was innocent of all sins.
"Ehh…" Nicholas looked up at her, "No thank you, Dorris. Help yourself."
She grinned, "Already got me' self some, but I never mind the leftovers." Nicholas had to briefly contemplate if that was an innuendo or not. She started to close the door behind her, when it swung back open, "Oh, right, Chief!"
"Yes?" Nicholas looked like he was getting a little annoyed.
"Well, is it true that you and Danny...?" She gestured for him to fill in the blank.
"Did we let the hippie's off with a warning? Yes, we di-"
"No not that!" She huffed. "I mean," she leaned out back into the hall and glanced around before shuffling farther into the room, and whispered, "Did you and Danny see Irene today?"
Oh, Danny's mum, Nicholas thought. "Yes, we went to see her earlier. It's the anniversary of her death, if I'm not mistaken."
"Ahh, so he did take you with him. Interesting…" She turned her eyes up in thought.
"What's so interesting about that?" Nicholas leaned farther forward in his chair.
"Well," she hesitated, "Danny never has company with him when he goes to pay his respects. Not even his father ever joined him; it's his 'alone time' with her." She squinted a little at Nicholas, trying to read if he understood what she meant, "It's sort of a big deal."
Nicholas seemed to mull this over, "I do consider Sergeant Butterman a close friend, so maybe he feels the same for me. Nothing too strange about that."
"Hmm," she looked like she was taking in his answer. "I suppose so. Well, that's all then. I'll report back if anything comes up." She left, shutting the door behind her.
Leaning back in his chair, Nicholas brought his pen to his lips and bit the cap. Yes, Danny and I are friends, he mused. He sat forward again, and decided to continue his work since he was close to being done.
Save for the sound of pen against paper, and the ticking of the clock on the wall, silence fell over the office. Nicholas signed the bottom of the paper, certifying it, and placed it in a tray labeled, 'outgoing reports.' The tray opposite of it was for any incoming work, but there was none. He sat back into his chair, and rested his head over the back and rubbed his eyes. He uncovered an eye and glanced at the clock that read it was getting close to 3:30pm. They didn't really close up and leave the station until 6:00 in the evening, so there was a good amount of time he had to kill.
While thinking of what work he could do, the doorknob turned, and the silence was once again interrupted, but this time by Danny. "Hey, Nich- Oh, I mean Chief, brought you some cake and coffee from the lounge." He had two plates and two mugs in his hands, and set them down on Nicholas's desk, pulling up a chair, and sitting opposite of the Chief Inspector.
"It's all right Danny," he sat forward. "It's just the two of us, and I'm done with work at the moment." He looked at the cake and frowned a bit, "I told Dorris I didn't want any cake."
"I know," Danny said through a mouthful of cake. "I jus' figured you did want some, but were too busy to git it yourself."
Nicholas smiled looking down at his plate before reaching over and picking it up. "Well, your intuition was right. Thank you, Searg-"
"Danny," he pointed his fork at Nicholas, and smiled.
Nicholas broke into a smile, "Sorry, Danny. Thank you nonetheless."
"Yup, no problem," Danny sipped his coffee.
Nicholas took a bite of his cake; chocolate with, what was it? A hint of raspberry maybe? He leaned back and enjoyed his little snack. It was a good thing he had such a workout regime, or he'd have gained some significant weight with how often the station had sweets.
"So Nicholas," Danny spoke through more cake. "What's the agenda for the rest of the day?"
"Well," Nicholas watched the steam rising from his coffee, "I'm done with my paperwork, so I was thinking of going on patrol. What were you thinking?" He lifted the mug to his lips and took a long sip.
"I dunno. Wanna go to the store later for Cornettos?" He looked up excitedly.
"What?" Nicholas pulled his cup away, "What about the cake we're eating right now?" He was holding back a laugh.
"I said 'later,' didn't I?" Danny rolled his eyes and placed the last bit of cake in his mouth. "You," he started, but then remembered to chew and swallow his food, "You said you're going on patrol soon, right?"
"Mhmm, that's right," Nicholas was nearing the end of his coffee, so he tilted back to get the last drops from his mug. He sat forward and placed his cup back onto the table. "Would you like to join me?" He grabbed his fork and prodded at the bit of cake still on his plate.
"Thought you'd never ask!" Danny jumped up from his seat, and ran out of the room, leaving Nicholas with his mouth open, cake hovering on his fork a few centimeters from his face. Danny rushed back in wearing his jacket. "You ready?" He looked like a dog who just heard the word 'walk.'
Nicholas laughed, "Can I finish my cake first?" He plopped the last bite into his mouth, stood up from his chair, grabbed his sunglasses and headed out the door with Danny in tow.
Patrol had proved rather uneventful; no one loitering around, no speeders, no looting or petty theft; just a calm late-afternoon in Sanford. Nicholas and Danny had headed back to the station, and were hanging up their uniforms in the new locker room when Danny sighed quite loudly.
"What's wrong?" Nicholas asked while rolling on his deodorant.
"Ahh nothin'." He was putting his hat up on the shelf inside his locker, and turned back to Nicholas, "I just wanted today to be a little more fun, I 'spose." He was undressed down to an undershirt that he started wearing after the incident. Danny didn't say it, but Nicholas could tell Danny didn't want any of the other officers to be reminded of that day one year ago.
Nicholas watched Danny from the corner of his eye, well aware of what he was hiding. He straightened up and buttoned his day shirt, "Were you thinking of anything specific? Movie? Pub? Both?" He bent down to tie his shoes.
"Yeah," Danny closed up his locker. "Let's do both!"
The Crown had long since been under new management, and though Danny occasionally missed greeting Mary, it had changed for the better. The duo walked up to the bar, and grabbed two seats. While waiting for service, Nicholas spoke up, "What are we watching tonight?"
Danny mused for a moment, "Hmm don't know yet. Maybe 'Die Hard'?"
"Haven't we seen that one already?" Nicholas looked up in thought.
"No, I mean 'Die Hard 3.' We haven't watched that one yet-"
"Hello," a cheery voice interrupted. "Welcome to The Crown! What can I get you?" Behind the counter was a cheery, young blonde with a slight gap between her front teeth, and a cute face.
"Oh," Nicholas turned his attention to her. "I'm sorry; I don't think we've ever met. I'm Chief Investigator Nicholas Angel, and this is my partner Sergeant Danny Butterman," he gestured to Danny. "Are you new here?"
"My, my! I didn't expect I'd be meeting the hero of Sanford tonight, or I had done my hair," she giggled. "I'm Katherine Swallow. I just moved into town a few days ago to start working here." She held out her hand to Nicholas, "Very nice to meet you, Angel."
Nicholas waved his hand, "I'm not the only hero. The Sergeant was just as much a part of it all as I was." He shook the barmaid's hand, and Danny cracked a small smile.
"Angel's modest. He's the real hero if there ever was one," he patted Nicholas on the back, and then reached his hand out to Katherine for a shake, but was left hanging as the barmaid's eyes were locked on the Chief Inspector.
"Go ahead and order whatever you want, Angel," her eyelashes batted slightly. "It's all on the house for you."
"In that case," said Danny, "I'd like a pint of lager."
Katherine looked his way, and hesitated, "Oh, I suppose I can give you a drink on the house as well." She quickly turned her focus back to Nicholas, "And you, darlin'?"
"I'll just have the same, thanks," he smiled weakly.
"Coming right up!" She turned around and filled two glasses with their order and planted them in front of the boys. "Here you are," she smiled. "So Angel, tell me, what made you come to a cozy village in the country? I heard you're from London-"
"Actually, I'm sorry Ms. Swallow, but the Sergeant and I have to discuss some police work, so we're moving to a booth." Nicholas picked up his glass and nodded his chin to Danny, who grabbed his drink, and got off the barstool. "Thank you for the drinks." He lifted his glass to her as if giving her a toast, and turned towards the booths at the back of the pub.
"Oh, I understand," she looked disappointed. "Let me know if you need anything! It's on me," she called, leaning over the counter. Nicholas turned his head and half-smiled at her.
Danny slid into one side of the booth, and watched Nicholas slide in to the other, "What's up? I thought we were done with work-"
"We are," Nicholas lifted his glass to his mouth and took a drink. "Just didn't like the way she was talking to you." He nodded towards the bar.
Danny looked over at the bar to see Katherine chatting up some other patrons, "So it wasn't just me, then." He turned back to Nicholas who was giving off quite a glare in the bar's direction. Danny tried to calm the tension, "It's all right, don't worry about it. Hey, though, she seemed to have a thing for you. She's not too bad lookin' either."
"Not bad looking, no," Nicholas held his beer to his lips, "but if she's not going to play nice with my best friend, why bother?" He took a swig.
Danny bobbed his head in thought, "Wait. You consider me your best friend?"
"Of course I do." Nicholas was taken aback, "How would you not qualify as my best friend?"
"Err, well," Danny rubbed his chin. "I dunno. I got nothin'," he laughed and picked up his drink, downing a good third of his glass.
Nicholas smiled and rapped his fingers against his drink. "Oh," he looked up at Danny, "thank you for letting me come along this morning."
"Hmm? Oh, you mean to see mum. Yeah no problem," Danny shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Thanks for joining me."
"It's not a big deal?" Nicholas quirked an eyebrow, "From my understanding, you've never taken anyone with you before."
Danny had his glass to his lips, but placed it back down without taking a sip, "I 'spose you're right. I guess I never had anyone I wanted to take with me."
"Not even your dad?" Nicholas pressed, leaning over the table.
"Nope, not even dad," Danny shook his head and rubbed away some of the condensation on his glass. "He was weird about it, but I git that. Besides, I think mum would have liked you."
"Really?" Nicholas watched Danny's face carefully.
"Yeah, I think so," he gave a firm nod. "I consider you my best friend, and she would have liked that." Nicholas saw a smile creep onto Danny's face, and he couldn't help but mimic him.
The two carried into the night drinking a few more pints, and decided it was time to head to Danny's for some movies. On the walk to Danny's flat, Danny breathed in, as if bracing himself for some sort of impact. "So, Nicholas…"
"Hmm?" Nicholas bobbed his head a little, wobbly from the drinking.
"When was the last time you went on a date?"
"What?" Nicholas laughed, "Not since Janine. Why do you ask?"
"Jus' thinkin' about that lady at the pub. Lots of women are interested in you around here, ya' know?" He kicked at a rock on the ground.
"Hmm I haven't really noticed," he scratched the back of his head.
"I have," Danny scoffed. "And I'll tell you what, it's bloody annoying. What if I want someone? Can't use you as my wingman 'cause they'll be too interested in you."
Nicholas had to stop as he bent over laughing, "A wingman?" He wiped a tear from his eye, "You're a sergeant. That should be enough to pique some interest." He pushed Danny over lightly.
Danny smiled, and pushed him back, "Oh and what about you Mr. Chief Inspector? You practically got your own fan-club." They reached the flat, and Danny was digging for his keys.
"I've got no interest in any of them," Nicholas said while watching Danny fumble for his keys. "I'm too busy for a girlfriend anyway."
"Too busy?" Danny found his key, and unlocked the door. He pushed it open, "What about what we're doin' right now? You could be gittin' some 'action' right now instead of hang out with me." Danny walked through the door, letting Nicholas pass by him.
"No, this is different," He headed over to the couch, and collapsed into the cushions. "If I had a girlfriend, I'd tell her that I'm often busy with work, and then I have prior arrangements to hang out with you. She'd be okay with it for a bit, but then after a while she'd want me to cancel some nights. She'd nag me about drinking and watching movies with you, and how you're my partner, so we see each other every day anyway. Just crap I wouldn't want to argue over."
Danny was in his DVD cabinet, and had just grabbed 'Die Hard 3.' He turned around and flipped the box over before opening it and taking out the disc inside. "Well, then," he pressed a button on his DVD player and the tray popped out. "Is the only thing stopping you from dating," he pressed the tray with the DVD back into the player, "me?"
"What?" Nicholas started at his friend, "Of course not. You're my best friend, and in my opinion, you take priority over some of the women I could date; especially after that woman at the pub."
Danny sat down beside Nicholas, remote in hand, "Was cute, though."
"I suppose, but-"
"Shhh!" Danny threw the remote on the table and leaned back into the sofa, "the movie's starting."
Nicholas smiled faintly, sitting next to his partner, in the dim room. I don't need someone telling me to stop doing THIS, he thought. Movie night with his best friend was an important ritual, and he wasn't about to change that.