Dear Diary,

I've decided to flip over a new leaf. From this moment on, I will no longer be "Nancy Know-It-All." Instead, I shall be "Nancy NOT-Know-It-All."

See, it all started when I was snogging Ron. Oh, right...we've been in a functioning relationship now for a solid 3 months. And the other day, I was locked in a passionate embrace with him when I realized I was bored. So as he kept snogging my lips off, I thought about making up a "To-Do" List. Because Ronald just wasn't cutting it for me, I mentally made a list of all the people I would like "to do" in our school.

Now, I will record all my accomplishments in this diary. It is the beginning of my sixth year, and I plan to finish the list off by the end of the year.

Oh darn, Ron just walked into the room. And he's got "that look" on his face. He probably wants to get naked. Well, he won't have me that easily! I like to play hard to get. So, that's all for now!

Luv luv, Hermione

"'Ello poppet!" Ron strutted into the room and pecked Hermione on the lips, but not before he tripped.

"Hi, Ron." Hermione grinned widely at him and shoved her diary into her bag. "How was detention?"

"Peachy, luv. I really enjoy polishing things!" Ron smiled stupidly and "Wingardium Leviosa"-ed his socks from his trunk.

"I was just about to start folding socks, would you like to join me?" Ron held up a pair of pink fuzzy "My Little Pony" socks from Sox Market.

Just then, Harry walked into the room. As his eyes wandered, they fell upon Hermione and their eyes locked.

"Actually, Ron, I'm, er...going to bed..." Hermione stood up.

"Well, I'm off to the library, if anybody would like to know!" Harry yelled rather loudly as he exited the portrait hole.

Hermione stood standing for a moment before heading out the portrait hole herself. She was heading down the hallway when she decided to stop into the bathroom for some "protection."

Once she got to the lavatories, however, she thought better of it and instead rolled up her skirt to make it shorter, unbuttoned her blouse a bit, gave her hair a fluff, and swiped on some lipgloss. She glanced at herself in the mirror, but realized something was missing, so she took off her bra and flushed it down the toilet. Feeling complete, she winked at her reflection before trouncing into the hallway.

As Hermione rounded a corner, she felt a pair of hands grasp her around the waist and pull her into a deserted Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"Oh! Harry! You scared the pants off of me!" Hermione giggled and pushed him away.

"That was the point!" Harry grinned evilly and pulled her closer, pressing his mouth against her in a desperate kiss. Hermione deepened the kiss as Harry's fingers raced to unbutton the rest of her blouse.

Harry spun Hermione around in excitement, and she opened her eyes to see more eyes staring back at her.

"Ugh, you utter CREATON!" Hermione pushed Harry away and tugged her shirt down. Damn this interruption! "The door has been open this whole time!" she whispered frantically, eyeing the tragic first years oggling them in the doorway.

The gaggle of first years stared at Harry in admiration.

"Let's go, tiger." Hermione pulled Harry out the door.

"May I just say, sir," said one of the children, grabbing Harry's arm and temporarily stopping the couple, "that you are an inspiration to all of us!" The first years all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Yes, I know, bow down to the master." Harry winked at them as Hermione pulled him around the corner.

"Way to go!"

"Go get her!"

The cheers and singing of "He's a Jolly Good Fellow" echoed behind them in the hallway. Harry puffed out his chest with pride, but then deflated when Hermione punched him in the stomach.

"Where should we go now?" She demanded, crossing her arms.

"NO! Don't cross your arms!" Harry started jumping frantically. "I know–let's go to the Astronomy Tower!" He quickly grabbed her hand and they ran down the hallway, laughing.

"Oh Harry," Hermione giggled as they burst into the Astronomy Tower, safely closing and locking the door behind them.

Harry pushed Hermione up against the wall and pushed his tongue deeper down her throat.

Ten minutes later, they came up for air, and Harry was jumping up and down with excitement.

"Naked naked naked!" He coaxed, pulling off his shirt and pants, then his shoes.

"Now now, darling, I'm not sure if I want to anymore." Hermione flicked the collar on her blouse and slowly sank to the ground.

"WHAT! NO! I WANNA DO IT WITH YOU!" Harry quickly transfigured a telescope into a plush red love bed. Then he got down on all fours and crawled to her, pathetically begging. "PUT OUT, WOMAN! PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP! AND A CHERRY! AND SPRINKLES! AND I WANT YOU ON TOP!" He suddenly grabbed her and threw her onto the bed.

Hermione giggled. "Well, you are so convincing..." she pulled off her shirt and whipped off her skirt. She didn't have to worry about her underwear, because she wasn't wearing any.

The two dove under the covers and shagged for all of England.

7 hours and 32.027 minutes later, the two pulled out, panting.

"Wow..." Hermione gasped.

"Happy nipples!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ok, well, we've been gone long enough, I think it's time I get going." Hermione stood up and started to get dressed.

"No! Please no!" Harry moaned.

"Oh, suck it, queer." Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry, who was weeping to himself in the fetal position.

"See you later, luv!" Hermione started out the door, but stopped and turned back. "OH, and one more thing–tell anybody about this, and you will be sorry." She glared at him madly for a few minutes while he cowered on the bed. Then she turned on her heel and left.

"Hello, Ronald!" Hermione strutted into common room and gave Ron (who was still folding socks) a kiss on the forehead.

"Hiya, Hermione! Hey, do you wanna help me fold some socks?" Ron grinned and held up a purple paisely sock. "Although I can't find this purple one's match..." A tear ran down his cheek but he wiped it away quickly.

"No thanks Ron, I'm gonna go to bed now." Hermione stood up and gave Ron the purple sock she had just found under Ron's shoe. He gave her a smile so large his face almost split in half.

"I love you!" He screeched, just as Harry entered the room.

Hermione nodded to Ron and looked up at Harry. Their eyes met, but Hermione narrowed hers into warning slits.

Then, she went upstairs to actually go to sleep, but not before she wrote in her diary.

"To-Do" List:

Harry–Check. Good sex, though he did call me Myrtle at one point.