Raven died. It's as simple as that.

It's been 5 years since Nightwing found her. We're still not entirely sure what went so wrong on a routine night watch. But questions are pointless now, Raven is gone, along with any evidence and more than likely the people that killed her. The tower was quiet for a long time after it happened. Huh, there's a sad irony in that she had always wished for that; enough silence to sit and read in peace. For those of us there it was torture. There was a silent understanding that an important friend, hell, sister was gone, never to return. No video games were played, no TV blared obnoxiously, no shouting or laughter rang through the halls. For months we all just quietly went about what had to be done. Me, Cy, and Nightwing tried to throw ourselves into training, taking out our grief on the punching bags, and criminals that interrupted. At the end of each day we were all too exhausted to do anything but go to bed.

For Star it was different. Tamaraneans grieve differently and are extremely in touch with their feelings. Unlike us humans she couldn't just go about business as usual. She couldn't train or fight crime because her powers were too unstable, she was too much of a risk. And she couldn't fly for a very long time, so she just sat in her room or on the roof and mourned her best friend. Eventually she got back to her old self, throwing herself into helping others, and becoming fiercely protective of those she cared about.

In the first two weeks I was in denial. Rae would come back. She was half demon for God's sake! She couldn't die. She probably got upset at something I did or said and wanted some time away; she'd be back soon with a sarcastic remark about how she didn't know we cared so much. It wasn't until the wake that I realised that it was really happening. Every titan was there, even those that hadn't particularly got on with Rae or liked her. They all paid their respects at the funeral and then reminisced fondly at the wake. The main tower of the tower was filled with people and the smell of pizza filled the air. While everyone spoke to each other trying to make sense of it all, I stood there in a bubble of denial and ignorance. That's when I saw Melvin, Timmy, and Teether huddled together at one end of the sofa, bodies shaking with sobs. That's when I knew. Rae wouldn't do this for a sarcastic comment. Behind the cold front she put up against the world was a warm and loving heart that cared deeply about her family and friends, a heart that wouldn't put them through this misery willingly. Especially her kids.

As years passed things slowly went back to how they were. Crime doesn't stop to let you mourn. Cy, Star, and Nightwing moved on with their lives. Star had a baby with Wing, forcing him to finally pop the question. Cy started seeing Bumblebee. Terra joined the team again, attempting to fill the gap. Me? I started dating Terra. Nothing serious. Nothing physical. As far as she knew it was the animal side of me that needed that space between us and she was respectful of that. But really, it was the mark on my wrist that demanded I never touch her.

5 years ago.

Gar.

Trees surrounded me in thick bursts. Every sense seemed heightened and I could smell her lavender scent through the rich pine. Hear her whispers through the raging wind and rustling leaves. This was our place. A place we could be together without anyone knowing. A place where we didn't have to hide our true feelings. I turned. Her cloak fluttered and danced in the wind but she stood as still as a statue. She never had her hood up here, but there it was, covering her face.

Gar, I'm sorry.

Her voice shook in a way that made it obvious she was holding back tears. Holding back her feelings. It felt wrong. She was never this closed off from me here. She was only 2 meters away but she'd never felt so distant. I reached out to her…

Screams woke me with a start, causing me to bang my forehead on the top bunk. A state of panic washed over me instantly and I raced to the main room in nothing but my pyjama bottoms. At 17, I'd grown up quite a lot since the Titans were founded, and looked pretty damn good, if I did say so myself! I'd grown a few inches, matured a lot, and took training a bit more seriously in an attempt to impress the ladies. Not that I needed to impress them anymore. Three months ago I started dating the girl of my dreams. But no one needed to know that, Rae would kill me if I told. She's got to maintain her image and all that jazz. Can't be seen all lovey dovey with the green freak that she spent so long pretending to hate. I've got to be the luckiest guy alive!

Entering the main room was like walking into a T.V. drama. Cy was sat at the dining table, head in hands, with a large chunk out of the wall next to him. Star was half collapsed on the floor shrieking and crying with Robin trying to calm her. It all reeked of bad soap opera.

"Wow guys, who died?" I half-chuckled, trying to ease the atmosphere. The looks I received made me wish I'd just stayed in bed. Maybe, Rae was right, I'm not that funny…nah that can't be it. That's when I noticed that Rae wasn't here. It had to have gone 10, she should be up by now, and with Star crying like that there's no way she wouldn't be in here. The emotions would have disturbed her sleep.

"Where's Rae? Has she finally realised she's a teenager and stayed in bed past 5am?" I chuckled at my own joke but the audience was still silent. Star ran out of the room, quickly followed by Cy. "My jokes aren't that bad!"

"Changeling, I found Raven on my morning rounds of the city this morning. I don't know what happened but it looks like she was attacked by surprise and beaten badly. I don't think she had the time or energy to heal herself. She's dead." Now if he'd known the truth he would have been gentler about it but my jokes had annoyed him, and as far as he knew I didn't care all that much about Raven. Before I could react he left the room and I'm so glad he did because I broke down completely. The Beast howled inside my head and raged that he hadn't protected her. Soon I couldn't control him and the next thing I knew I was in our clearing in the woods, broken branches surrounding me.