A/N: This is my first published fan fiction, so please let me know what you think. I enjoyed writing it, I have several more chapters written and on the way.

There is a lime in this chapter, lemon in the next one so if you don't want to read a story with sexual situations between men, this one might not be for you but it's about love too.

I do not own D. Gray-Man.

Allen had just arrived at the cafeteria after working up an appetite. He had recently returned from a exhaustive mission with Lenalee and was still injured, but he knew his best chance of healing was to get his parasitic innocence the fuel it required. He sat down next to Lenalee and Lavi with a tower of food to devour.

The exorcists were catching up on each others' missions when they noticed Kanda staggering around until he sat down a few seats away from them and started to eat his soba in silence. "Hey Lavi, what's wrong with Kanda is he injured or something?" Allen asked. Lavi began to giggle mischievously and Allen raised his eyebrow at him.

"What did you do?!" Lenalee smacked Lavi in the back of the head. "What?" he said defensively, "He was extra cranky and tense on our mission so I decided that when we came back I would spike his tea with alcohol. Maybe it will lower his inhibitions and make him relax a little. I was only looking out for Yuu-chan. But if he eats that soba, it will probably wear off soon..." He frowned like a little boy that had his toy taken away from him.

As Lenalee and Lavi argued back and forth Allen tuned them out, wondering how Kanda was fooled by this foolish prank. Serves Kanda right, that jerk! Heh. Lavi should fear for his life when it wears off though…

After Allen had finished his mountain food he headed for his room, almost of wishing Kanda was around so he could witness him embarrass himself. Suddenly all his thoughts were shoved out of his head when he was slammed against the wall in the dimly lit Dark Order hallway.

His breath was momentarily forced out of his lungs and he was ready for a fight against his mysterious attacker. But when the air returned to him, he looked up and was shocked at what he saw. "K-Kanda?!" "Che."

Being this close to Kanda when they weren't fighting, just standing there almost touching each other's bodies was…different…

He could feel warm breath on his face and Kanda looked flushed, likely from the alcohol in his veins. "Are you…alright?" "Why wouldn't I be Moyashi?"

Well…because you have me pinned to the wall, you haven't tried to hit me or even threaten me yet, Mugen is safely in its sheath, and you appear to be blushing…

"Kanda?" "Shut up."

But Allen wasn't going to have that, he was about to demand answers when he felt warm lips ghost over his own causing his breath to hitch and all the muscles in his body to freeze. He almost thought Kanda was going to kiss him but he didn't, he tilted his head to the side and kissed and sucked on Allen's throat causing him to release a moan when Kanda found a particularly sensitive spot over his pulse.

Kanda drank up that sound determined to pull more from him as he marked up his skin. As Allen's body finally relaxed against him, he made his way to his face kissing him gently everywhere except his lips, it was almost…reverent, but that couldn't be possible.

Kanda looked at his moyashi, his eyes were closed, his head was tilted to allow Kanda access and he had finally worked up a flush. Yes this is is exactly where I want him. Then when Allen's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Kanda questioningly he finally closed in on his lips.

He claimed them passionately and Allen gasped when Kanda's hand somehow made it up his shirt, it was cold but somehow managed to spread fire through his body. Mm…Moyashi tastes sweet like dango, maybe I'll have to try some next time but they won't taste nearly as good as he does.

When they pulled apart the exorcist with the snow white hair looked up half lidded into Kanda's darkened lust filled eyes and he breathed out softly, "Kanda…" With his other hand Kanda reached down to trace Allen's growing erection with his palm, causing him to moan and throw his head back against the wall splaying his silver hair out like a halo.

The sound sent blood straight to Kanda's arousal which was currently pressed against Allen's inner thigh. Allen gripped the older man's shoulders, panting in his ear as Kanda marked up his neck with love bites. That blush on Kanda's face somehow made him look even sexier than before if that was possible.

Suddenly they jolted apart when they heard talking coming from down the hall. Allen looked in the direction the voices were coming from but when he looked back Kanda was gone, like he'd never been there. He sighed and then realized he have an awkward walk back to his room.

oooooo000000000000oooooo

Back in Allen's room, he was verbally debating himself in a state of sheer panic.

What the hell just happened?! He-he was under the influence, he just had his inhibitions removed that's all. But if that's what he does when his inhibitions are- then what the-? Ugh, I'm so confused, and horrified, and mildly aroused. What the hell did he just do to me? I'll never be able to look at him again! You mean without getting embarrassed and aroused? I'm screwed. I never knew Kanda could…be like that, and gentle too. But those were only hidden desires and apparently all that being under the influence brought out was a mildly rape-y Kanda (not really) who only wanted my body.

He sighed disappointedly. I hadn't exactly said no or told him to get lost did I? No…his body was so warm and that look in his eye nearly melted all my bones, (except one, heh heh, I am such a perv! Lavi must be rubbing off on me). What am I going to do around Kanda? Ok, I'll just have to avoid him like the plague!

And that's exactly what he did.

After days of hiding out in his room and occasionally ducking into the library, Allen finally decided he had to stop worrying his friends. He came out to their usual hangout and his favorite place, the cafeteria. Lavi was waving excitedly, "Hey Yuu-chan Allen's here!" "Che, what do I care idiot? And don't call me that!"

Allen sat next to Lenalee and Lavi, Kanda was diagonal from him a few seats down, (he was sitting with them but wasn't at the same time.)

"I feel like we haven't seen you in a long time Allen are you ok? You weren't sick were you? It looks like you have a rash on your neck."

"Huh?"

A rash? . . .

Then he froze in horror when he realized that he must still have that hickey, damn how hard did Kanda suck- no, he really shouldn't think about that right now. Lenalee was curious, but the Bookman Jr. was giving him a knowing smile and that just made his horrified expression intensify.

Allen quickly looked around for a patsy to blame it on, anyone but Kanda because they'd never hear the end of it. Kanda would be mad and he probably didn't even remember anyway. Then he blurted out a response without even thinking, "I burned myself with a candle!" Lenalee and Lavi looked at each other curiously and Allen didn't see Kanda's raised eyebrow.

"Oh come on Allen, you must be getting some action? Who is it, who is it?!" Lavi was jumping up an down in his seat like an excited puppy. And Allen's horrified expression returned full force.

"If that true Allen?" Lenalee asked curiously, if a bit disappointedly. She had a crush on him since he first came to the order and Allen remained oblivious, but Lavi was there to comfort her. "No! No it's not true!" He waved his hands up defensively. "Fine don't tell us," Lavi pouted, "But if you do get some loving, promise I'll be the first to know? You know, for Bookman purposes only," he winked. He definitely wasn't convincing anyone.

"Uh sure?" he replied hesitantly. Kanda was trying to fight off an amused smile at how much Allen was worried over a hickey and his expression was…cute. This was the first time he had seen Allen for three days all which was very unusual since he was outgoing and could normally be easily found, it wasn't as if he'd actually looked or anything…

Ok so the boy was avoiding him and he wasn't about to admit it but he was mildly pissed which in Kanda language meant really pissed. He hadn't meant to scare Allen off or make him feel disgusted, or worse lose him entirely by making him hate him, (real hate, not their usual mock-hatred).

But the moyashi was his and the thought of him with anyone else made him feel sick. I'm the one that should feel disgusted, these emotions are nothing but troublesome. But after Allen had almost died on their last mission together, he realized that life is short. And even if he couldn't die for now, Allen could and he would never forgive himself if he never- never...

He had to come up with a plan.

Flashback four days earlier:

Kanda had just returned from his mission extremely irritated and tense, filled with repressed sexual needs. He would be okay with that, but it was focused solely on one person: his Moyashi. And when the hell did he start considering him his?! It was definitely a love/hate thing, and it was unbearable.

These emotions have no place in my life. Sexual desire is one thing but the desire to hold him and keep him safe is sick! I must be losing it. Connections with other people are doomed, especially in life a soldier because the chances of losing them are even greater.

His life was practically over, he knew it. He was irrevocably in something with Allen Walker, that self-sacrificing idiot, and that made his chance of losing him very high. He doesn't know how selfish it is to die and leave people behind. That Idiot. But which of us is more of an idiot, if I am a fool enough to want someone that, one way or another, I am doomed to lose?

Kanda had been struggling with this sexual tension for weeks non-stop, something had to be done! He couldn't think about anything else and all the training in the world was not enough to stop it, even if he pushed himself to the point of exhaustion. He was barricaded in his room set with one mission: to relieve some of the tension, in the hopes it would get his aching need to cool off, if only for a while.

The idea that he would be reduced to touching himself, disturbed him, he saw it as a distraction, pleasure was not a necessity. But occasionally in the past he had resorted to this only when he was more tense than usual.

Right now however, he was about to snap at any minute from the stress. So he bowed his head in shame, shed his clothes and then slid his hand down his stomach to his throbbing arousal. He gasped softly when he made contact with his sensitive skin. Instead of how he had been trying to murder any thought about his Moyashi which was almost constantly, he closed his eyes and let his mind finally run free. It infuriated him but he only had himself to blame.

He pictured Allen naked and spread below him like an offering on an alter. What that porcelain skin would feel like against his... This was horrifying, shameful, delicious, exhilarating. I want him so bad.

Then his mind wandered to when he and Allen had fought each other so long ago and that fierce look in his eyes when he was brave enough to grab his wrist that day when he had been arguing with the finders. He moved his hand faster thinking about their bodies joining and becoming one, slamming into him over and over.

Whoever was more dominant didn't matter much to him because when innocent sweet Allen Walker was dominant it was incredibly sexy. Every time they argued he wanted to throw him down and pound him into the ground, but again the other way around also excited him, though he would loathe to admit it. He reached below and fingered his entrance, and then began stroking the inside of his walls imagining they were Moyashi's hands on him and inside him.

He gasped when he hit that spot inside him that made him see white, he was so close. 'Does it feel good Kanda?' he would whisper in his ear. He pictured their lips coming together as they danced an erotic dance together. He saw Allen reaching between them to finish him and he sped up his hand in response, until he was flooded with pleasure, pouring out his desire onto his hand and stomach."Nnn…Moyashi!"

He gasped as he caught his breath, coming down from his high, but as soon as he did he felt cold without the warmth of Allen in his arms. I need him. I need him to want me too. This is ridiculous!

The Bookman snickered from where he had been listening like the pervert he was. He marked a confirmation in his book, and smirked evilly. So that's how it is huh, and he snickered. If they didn't get together on their own, maybe he'd bend the Bookman rules a bit and conspire with Lenalee to help them out. Poor Allen is always too oblivious to notice the ones who desire him...

But maybe this time he'd have a chance to really be happy with someone. Their little hero deserved that much after sacrificing his life to the Order, and Lavi would get to tease them and spy on them for the rest of their lives, everybody wins.

A/N: If you liked this chapter and you'd like to see more, please review. This is my first fanfiction so I would really appreciate your support and input, Thank you.

-MilenaRose