Anything

By FullMentalPanic

Even when you say it, there are certain things you rule out as impossibilities. There's a subconscious assumption that such things as that couldn't possibly be included.

When I said it, I thought I meant it.

I wanted to protect her. That was the only thing I was thinking. Nearly everything and everyone who could act as defense or support was dissolving. I was scavenging for any options that could keep us alive. He knew it, and he took me.

I let him.

She's still not safe.

I am no longer my own. I watch, but I don't decide where my eyes turn. My voice speaks words that I don't prompt. The innate power of my blood that should be as easy to control as breath does not respond to me. What I want to express to her is stifled, or worse, perverted, manipulated, told in half.

It's my mind, but I've ceased to be the only one who uses it. His thoughts run through my head and I see what he wants to do with my body to my sister.

My thoughts are as clear to him as his own. It's one of the reasons he hates Shizuka's thrall. That boy refuses the role he's been assigned. All of the laws that the controller of my body rules by decree that boy should cower before pure blood and bow his head in submission. He doesn't. He glares, he takes steps that aren't sanctioned, and he acts in direct contradiction to what he longs for.

While I watch and understand that it's possible.

That possibility is increasingly becoming a necessity. His machinations have a firm hold, despite those who oppose them. Through deception, and misguided loyalty toward me, he still has support. Offense, injustice, they pile up and I will answer for not stopping them. It's still my body, and this happened because I said 'anything'.

I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to do something.

We share the same body, the same name, but we are not one. What we want, and what we will do to get it, do not exist on the same plane. He's not willing to die.

I am.

There is a way. Not only for my freedom, but for hers. He sees it too, and acts to distract me whenever I dwell on it. Strategy, even if it is seen and fully understood, can still be accomplished if certain actions can take place. Our plans are fully revealed to one another and are constantly raked for weaknesses. Every circumstance where they can succeed, or fail, is perceived and examined. I know how to thwart him, I have to defy him.

I've seen it done by that mixed-blood boy who loves my sister.

All of that boy is the hunter, everything focused on subverting and destroying what endangers and causes annihilation for those he's done a better job of protecting than I have. He deals out destruction, but he wants her to live. If I am gone, I want him to be here for her. I can guess he has a plan, and that plan involves the very strong likelihood of his death.

Not if I make the sacrifice first.

I have a plan for liberty, where I can move on my own. Even if it means my end, I'll have still won, because I can only carry it out if I freely choose to do it.

After seeing what he will do, knowing the outcome he is driving for, I will stop him. As tightly as he clings to his life, I want to see him lose it.

Whether or not I gain anything by being willing to give up mine is yet to be seen.

A/N: Canon-ish, based on a rumor I heard about how Kaname-Yuuki's-brother was under the control of Kaname-the-enduring-ancestor the same way Maria Kurenai was under the control of Shizuka Hio.