The first time they have sex it's in a cookie cutter hotel room where they have gone to escape Dan's always-present family. It is at least awkward, at most just awful, all mismatched limbs in the wrong place and strange grunts, and then it's over and they both lie there, lying to each other, thinking that maybe this was all there is.
It's not like the kissing was bad. The kissing was mind-blowing fireworks floating in space trumpets blaring amazing. The kissing might be turning out to better than the sex. Too bad Blair wasn't a teenager anymore, satisfied with just making out. Too bad Blair liked sex.
She told herself it was all too strange, Dan Humphrey and Brooklyn bringing down the vibe, an anonymous hotel room that made her think of sneaking around and illicit affairs. She told herself that it was a lack of practice, Dan not remembering how to fit together, what places his fingers could search out. It was all kinds of wrong.
It wasn't like she didn't want him, wasn't like she didn't feel the zing of electricity when he placed a kiss on the inside of her wrist, wasn't like she didn't want to rip all of his clothes off when he smiled at her a certain way. She wanted him so badly that she would dream about him and wake up sweaty and bothered and annoyed that real life wasn't even coming to close.
"Well." Dan said, staring up at the ceiling of the hotel room.
"Yeah." Blair responded.
"That wasn't super awesome."
Blair turned on her side and looked over at him through narrowed eyes. Dan smiled at her, breaking the tension.
"Super awesome, Humphrey? Are you thirteen?"
He laughed. They spent the rest of the afternoon watching pay per view movies and ordering room service and making out.
The next time was at the loft, Lily and Rufus out at their favorite restaurant. This time it was on the couch, their clothes half off and half on, fumbling for the condom, Blair's ass up against a hard part of the wood frame, Dan looming above her, his face screwed up with concentration, and Blair knew he was thinking too much. It was like a make-out session gone too far, all fumbles and awkwardness. Afterward he pulled a blanket over them and Blair nestled into his chest, and thought cuddling might be the best part after all.
He let out a heavy, disappointed, frustrated sigh. She felt the same.
"Not super awesome?" Blair asked, smiling. Dan grimaced. It was starting to seem more like they were thirteen year olds fumbling through their first time at the rate they were going.
"Not really," Dan answered.
Not really.
They went back to making out, long sessions on her couch or stretched out across his bed, mouths devouring each other, but stopping short when hands started slipping toward the wrong places, buttons started being unbuttoned, and more than one night ended in total frustration.
They were stuck.
"We're over thinking it." Blair said one day as they were sipping lattes at the coffee shop down the street from the loft. Dan had been absorbed in the New Yorker for the last twenty minutes, reading snippets of articles to her, Blair half paying attention, engrossed in thought as she tried to solve their problem. She wanted to have sex, to end this loop they'd gotten stuck in.
"Hmmmm..." Dan mumbled, not really paying attention. Blair scooted her chair closer, reached under the table and placed her hand on his knee. Dan looked up from his magazine.
"It's not like I don't want to fuck you. Because I really do." Blair murmured quietly, her hand making circles on the fabric of his jeans. She'd decided to take the straightforward approach.
"Blair!"
"I assume you want to fuck me," she continued, her voice low, keeping their conversation private.
Dan swallowed and paused, looking at her, then he opened his mouth and finally managed to answer like she'd asked dumbest question in the world, "Um, yes. I do."
"Should we go, then?"
"Right now?" Dan asked. Blair nodded, wanting him, wishing they weren't so far away from the loft. Dan folded up his magazine. He took a final drink of his coffee. Blair just watched him, waiting for him to answer.
"Okay," his voice cracked.
"Okay," Blair answered back. Maybe the third time would be the charm.
As they walked the short distance home they had to stop occasionally, finding doorways to lean in as their mouths devoured each other, his hands slipping under her shirt, her fingers sliding under the waistband of his jeans, their hips pressing into each other seeking relief for the heat building up and by the time they reached the loft they were in various states of un-doneness. They barely made it through the doorway before fumbling fingers were working at undoing buttons and pulling down zippers, and Dan laughed a deep, rumbling, wanting sound in his chest as he watched Blair try in vain to pull her bra off, and she glared back at him, daring him to help her if he thought this was so funny. He finally relieved her of her efforts and it fell to the floor.
"Bed," Blair managed to gasp and Dan scooped her into his arms, his mouth finding hers again, tongues entangling, devouring each other like two people starving. Somehow they made it to his bedroom, bumping into walls and doorways in the progress, it being difficult to see where one is going when one is in the middle of passionate kissing. He only stopped kissing her when deposited her on the bed. Blair giggled and lifted her hips to pull off her skirt as Dan tugged off his jeans and his boxer shorts, and Blair could see that he was as turned on as she was.
Then they were skin on skin, pressing into each other, wanting to find relief, and his mouth was trailing down her neck, over her collarbone, down to her breasts and Blair thought she heard her voice in the empty room, between sighs and moans, begging.
"Dan, please..."
Then he was biting at her nipple and her back was arching and for a brief moment Blair thought to herself that this...this...was what she had been wanting all along, but then all thought fled and was replaced by only feeling and intensity as Dan's hand slipped between her legs.
"Fuck." Blair gasped.
"You're wet." Dan murmured against her mouth. He was good at murmuring, his voice gravelly, whispering sweet nothings against her lips. She liked it, wanted more of it. Blair managed to collect herself enough to murmur back.
"No kidding, Humphrey."
What else did he think would happen when things finally went right and he found all the right spots. It had a way of making a girl feel turned on. Really turned on. Blair knew she wasn't going to last much longer.
"Now?" Dan asked. Blair rolled her eyes.
"Yesterday." She pushed up with all her strength and pushing Dan off her and onto his back, then straddling his hips, she pushed down and he was inside her. For a long moment they didn't move, just sat there, Blair hovering over Dan, breathing hard, staring into his eyes, him looking up at her with a lopsided smile. Blair smiled back, blew a strand of hair out of her face and pressed her hips down, feeling Dan's hips buck and then they were moving, skin against skin, sweaty, panting.
It was good. Really good.
Blair felt everything tighten up and her toes curled as she let go and came, then Dan was shouting her name and he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her hair, and Blair was panting into his shoulder. They sat like that, Dan still inside her, arms and legs wrapped around each other, sweaty, skin sticking to each other, breathing together, silent. Then Blair loosened Dan's arms and rolled off of him, stretching out on the bed and curling into his side, her head resting on his chest. Dan pulled up the covers just as Blair felt the chill of the air send goosebumps across her damp skin, his hand came up to smooth her hair, her fingers were tracing random patterns on his arm. After a long time he laughed a little, again deep and rumbly, a sound of satisfaction.
"What?" Blair asked, looking up at him, her eyelids heavy with sleep. Dan smiled.
"Was that super awesome?" he asked. Blair smiled and laughed as well, a tinkling, happy sound.
"Yes." she answered. "That was super awesome."
